NOTE: Transcribed by Dave Bentley. Thank you Dave! Peter Jones's 150th appearance, John Browell's final programme as producer.


ANNOUNCER: We present Kenneth Williams, Clement Freud, Peter Jones and Derek Nimmo in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away, here to tell you about it is our chairman, Nicholas Parsons.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you very much, hello and welcome to Just A Minute. And we’re rather sad this week because it’s the last recording in the present series of our games, so we do hope you’re going to enjoy it. And once again I am going to ask our three contestants to talk, if they can, on the subject that I will give them, without hesitating, without repeating themselves, and without deviating from the subject on the card. And we’ll begin this show, the last in the series, with Kenneth Williams. Who better! And Kenneth, something which you illustrate magnificently on Just A Minute, but will you talk on getting wound up, starting now.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: This is essential for clockwork motors. They must be wound up or they won’t operate at all, and I had the misfortune to lose the instrument which actually does the winding, which is called the key, and went and found one in the most unlikely location you could imagine. A place called The Lanes, in the South Coast. It is actually a resort which I cannot name because as you know…


NP: Er, Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DEREK NIMMO: Brighton!

KW: Oooh! Not supposed to advertise!

NP: So! While you were correct in what you said, Derek, what is your challenge?

DN: I’m just trying to be helpful, that’s all, as it’s the last game, you know.

NP: Well you were very helpful. I don’t know why…

DN: …to give him a point, you know...

NP: …why you couldn’t…

DN: Easy come, easy go.

NP: ...he couldn’t publicise Brighton. I don’t know. It deserves to be publicised. Um! But you weren’t deviating, or repeating, or hesitating, so it’s an incorrect challenge, and you get a point for that, Kenneth, and you keep the subject of getting wound up, with 28 and a half seconds, starting now.

KW: Inside a murky little shop I found this old lady with a face like the Malay Peninsula, and there was a wart at Singapore, and it cracked like a whip when she sneezed, and she sold me this extraordinary instrument, which I have described to you before...


NP: Er, Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of instrument.

NP: Yes! You said about the instrument before, and so Derek, this time it was a correct challenge. A point to you, and eight seconds left, the subject getting wound up, starting now.

DN: I was hoping that dear old Ken would have talked about getting wound up in the way we like to think of him. That wonderful excitement that comes out of him. He throbs, and he comes all the way from Great Portland Street...


DN: …and all the lovely things.

NP: I agree with you, Derek. I was expecting the same thing and that’s why I introduced the subject in that particular way. But he, true to Kenneth’s form, we never quite know what to expect. He went off on something quite else. Er, the whistle, as usual in Just A Minute, is blown by the creator of the game, Ian Messiter, and he tells us that 60 seconds is up, and whoever speaks at that moment gets an extra point. It was Derek Nimmo, of course, and Derek, naturally, is in the lead as a result at the end of the round. Er, but Derek…

PETER JONES: During this brief pause I would just like to say hello to Clement Freud, just to show that we are here.

NP: What does Clement Freud wish to say?

CLEMENT FREUD: I would like to reserve my hello.

NP: Well, we’re all here I hope, and, er, Derek, we’d like you to take the next round. The subject is eggs. Will you tell us something about that, in Just A Minute, starting now?

DN: Eggs are the produce of the hen. Egg Saturday used to be the day before Shrove…

NP: Er, Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Not necessarily…

NP: What? Not necess…

CF: …are eggs the produce of a hen.

DN: Not necessarily.

NP: You’re absolutely right! But they are, and they can be, but not always. So he wasn’t actually deviating from the subject...

CF: Oh!

NP: He didn’t say they are always the produce of the hen.

CF: That was tacit in the statement he made. “Eggs are…”

DN: You always say “milk comes from cows”.

NP: It might be, it might be tacit in your offbeat world...

CF: Ah!

NP: ...but not in everybody’s, and, er, I don’t think it within the context of…

CF: So “No” is the word you are searching for!

NP: No. I’m just saying…

KW: I don’t know what you are talking about, always saying “tacit in the assumption”. Tacit means silent, doesn't it? I think he means it was implicit, doesn't he? Tacit! Tacit!

NP: Er, you can use tacit in both senses. In musical sense if it’s tacit, yes.

KW: Well, it’s silent innit?

NP: No.

KW: Well, I don’t know what you are talkin’ about. I’ve never heard such rubbish. Having a discussion…

NP: In musical terms tacit, as far as I know, means silent…

KW: Why don’t you get on with it, instead of all this muckin’ about? Get on with it!

PJ: Not a word we’ve got much use for in this programme.

NP: There are two meanings for the word. And there are 59, no, sorry, there are 54 seconds on eggs, with you Derek, starting now.

DN: There is a supposition that people who are bald are called egg-heads, and people pretend that they are intelligent because of this.


NP: Er, Peter Jones!

PJ: Er, repetition of people!

NP: Yes. You are right, Peter. You have a point for a correct challenge, and 48 seconds, eggs, starting now.

PJ: What a good idea it was on the part of nature to help birds to avoid having to have their young inside them for such a long time. Human beings, nine months, in the case of elephants, I believe, the mind boggles at a period of three years when they have to bear their infants.


NP: Er, Kenneth Williams!

KW: We’re d’…er... deviation. We’re disc’, we’re, we’re disc’… we are now into gynaecology, aren’t we? I mean…

NP: I agree. We’re talking about giving birth more than eggs…

KW: Right! Right! Right!

NP: …and the subject of eggs is on the card, so Kenneth, you have it now, and 29 and a half seconds, eggs, starting now.

KW: They are binding! Everybody knows about that, and, consequently, you should make sure you have a bit of fruit with them as well, preferably a plate of raspberries. They also have a connotation which will not escape the notice of those among you who form the cognoscente.


NP: Er, Peter Jo…Jones!

PJ: Well, now he’s talking about constipation.

NP: You are perfectly right, Peter. And one thing we don’t want in Just A Minute is to get too constipated, so you get the subject back... of eggs, with nine and a half seconds left, starting now.

PJ: I think the very nicest kind of eggs are in the form of caviar of which comes from the Royal Sturgeon, and if you can get a bit of lemon and squ...


NP: Peter Jones was speaking as the whistle went, gained the extra point, as well as others, and he’s in the lead with Derek Nimmo, at the end of the round. Peter, will you begin the next round? The subject is forgetting the tag-line. I’m sure you’ve some... well, I don’t know if you’ve any experience of that, but maybe you can talk on the subject in Just A Minute, starting now.

PJ: Yes! I have had a little experience of this. But I remember a friend of mine, Robert Morton, who used to appear a lot on the radio with something he called his Bumper Fun Book. He really made a career, and a very good one, out of forgetting the tag-line. He would start to tell a story, as for instance, one of a medical student being examined by a master, who holds up an object, like a Henry Moore sculpture, yellowish thing, and asks the student, “What is it?”…and the boy replies, “ I think it’s a bone, sir,” whereupon the older man says, “Is it human?” and the other man… on the other side…


NP: Orh! We won’t goin’ to hear the story…

PJ: You’re not going to hear the tag-line.

NP: No! Clement Freud challenged!

CF: Repetition of man!

NP: Yes, I’m afraid so. Shall we…

CF: I’d like to hear the tag…

NP: Shall we hear the tag-line now?

CF: Yes!


NP: They want the tag-line now, Peter.

PJ: Er, well, there’s quite a bit more before we get to the tag, you see. I don’t…

NP: Well then, give it to them then, and you’re not inhibited by being interrupted now, so what was the…

PJ. Yes. Er, well, then, er…

NP: You’ve forgotten it, haven’t you?

PJ: Yes, I have really. Yes.

NP: Shall we leave it at that?

PJ: Anyway, he says, “ I must confess, sir, I just don’t know.” And he says, “What is your excuse for this appalling ignorance?” And the student said, “I have an excuse, sir. It is that… I thought the exam was tomorrow." Better, better forgotten really.

NP: Yes! Yes, it’s one of those tag-lines as you were…Clement, you had a correct challenge before we got to the forgotten tag-line which didn’t work, and with 19 seconds, on forgetting the tag-line, starting now.

CF: It is an awfully difficult thing when you are telling a story or a joke to an audience and you go on building it up and in the back of your mind you realise that when you come to a certain point it is going to become impossible to finish the aforesyde anecdote, and therefore…


NP: Erm, Derek Nimmo ch…

DN: Aforesyde?

NP: Yes! The Forsyte Saga anecdote. Deviation of what? Grammar?

DN: Yes, indeed!

NP: Er, I would agree, yes.

CF: Not grammar!

DN: Well, pronunciation!

CF: Quite right!

NP: English, or something like that. Er, two seconds on forgetting the tag-line, with you Derek, starting now.

DN: Roses are red, and th…


NP: Well, er, Derek Nimmo, em, has gone back into the lead at the end of that round, just ahead of Peter Jones. Clement Freud and Kenneth Williams are equal, one point behind Peter, in third place. Clement, your turn to begin. The subject: brickworks. Would you talk on that in Just A Minute starting now.

CF: Brickworks is actually something I know a little about because in Whittlesey there are a very substantial number, and they produce, and this will not surprise anyone, even if they don’t come from that part of North Cambridgeshire, bricks. Thousands upon millions of them every day, and you can gauge the prosperity of that part of the countryside which…


NP: Er, Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Deviation. I don’t believe they produce millions of bricks, not thousands upon millions…

CF: Actually, actually millions, and hundreds of thousands of millions, in not a very long time.

DN: Really?

NP: I am going to put this to the superior wisdom and judgement of our delightful audience.

CF: Could you put it to those who come from Whittlesey.\

NP: Will anybody from Whittlesey in the audience…

KW: …Can’t you, as Chairman, decide. What a joke!

NP: We have got some people from Whittlesey…

KW: You have to ask an audience if they…

NP: Right, I will ask the people from Whittlesey first. If they make millions of bricks in a day will you please cheer for Clement Freud, if not you boo for Derek Nimmo, and you all do it together, now!


NP: The people from Whittlesey cheered and all the rest of them booed, but I think the cheers decided that Clement Freud probably has the benefit of the doubt. So Clement, you keep the subject of brickworks, and there are 36 seconds, starting now.



NP: Er, Kenneth Williams challenged.

KW: Hesitation, I would think.

NP: Hesitation is right. There are 34 seconds left. Kenneth, the subject is brickworks, starting now.

KW: There is a very fine site where bricks were made from the original clay, do you see, in the Mycenaean area just outside Athens, and I was taken by a young lady, who was a graduate of the university of that place, and she showed me the kilns where these were fired in order that the original constituents be hardened and, in the process, become weather-proof against the tempests of nature. After all, you ask yourself the sort of climate that, that he’s visited upon.


NP: So, Kenneth Williams was speaking as the whistle went to gain that precious extra point which has put him in second place, equal with Clement Freud and Peter Jones, and just behind Derek Nimmo. Um! Derek, by the way, has five points, the rest have three, and the audience have one. Kenneth, will you begin the next round, the subject is Monk. Will you tell us something about it in Just A Minute, starting now.

KW: General Monk is the man whose statue should be outside the Houses of Parliament; not that filthy regicide Cromwell. He was the one who went across the Channel and said to Charles I, rightful heir, “Come back, we want you,” and thus you have the Restoration. The cheering with Monk, all the way from Dover as they hailed this new age, and what did it mean? Well, there was Nell Gwyn with oranges, wasn’t there, and then there was that Chelsea lot, the pensioners, still in it today.


NP: Er, Peter Jones has challenged!

PJ: Er, repetition of there.

NP: Yes!

KW: Well, these are such stupid little petty things to pick on, aren’t they. I think it’s so petty that, I’m, I’m above all that. I’m bigger than that. Do you know what I mean? I have a more generous spirit. I would only challenge if someone was genuinely sort of running out of steam, or a great bore – and that nobody could apply to me.

NP: Kenneth, No! You could never be a big bore, but I’m afraid you were challenged on a word that you repeated, and I agree, though it’s a bit tedious, it is correct…

KW: Aw, let ‘im ‘ave it. After all, he is getting’ on, isn’t he?

NP: And he also wishes to get on with the game, and that’s why he challenged, so Peter, you have a point, and 27 seconds on Monk, starting now.

PJ: Any monk who devotes his life to a spiritual period in a monastery has my admiration, although…


NP: Er, Kenn, Clement Freud!

CF: Well, it’s deviation. All monks devote their lives to that. It, it really is…

NP: He didn’t. He said, “If any monk”…

CF: No!

NP: What is your objection or your challenge?

CF: Oh, never mind!

NP: It’s the first time I’ve seen Clement Freud looking deflated, and em…

CF: It wasn’t remotely deflating. It’s your stupidity which I find totally incapable of coping with.

PJ: No! No, no, no, no!

CF: Nothing else.

NP: You’ve often wondered why they made me chairman of Just A Minute. Perhaps you’re realising it now. If they had an intelligent chairman perhaps you wouldn’t all look so good.

PJ: Well...

NP: There…are 18 seconds left for Monk, with you Peter, starting now!

PJ: Though they do spend a great deal of their spare time in brewing beer, and making wine, cooking, and so on, because they enjoy…


NP: Er, Kenneth Williams!

KW: We’ve got they’re doin’ this and they’re doin’ the other, brewin’ beer, ‘avin drinks, an’ all that, and the subject is Monk, singular!

PJ: Well some of ‘em are!

KW: No he’s gone on, he’s gone on to discuss a load of ‘em.

NP: We hope that every monk…

KW: …The subject on the card is Monk, and therefore I discuss General Monk, in the proper fashion, which we should be doing now, and you well know it!

PJ: It doesn’t say General Monk!

NP: No! The c…

KW: And you know it, you! Why! You’ve gone white! Look at his face! Look!

NP: I’m very, I’m very red actually. It’s rather hot here.

PJ: It doesn’t say General Monk…

NP: …It doesn’t say General Monk on the card. It just says Monk.

KW: You know! Everybody in this audience knows who the Great Monk was. Oh!…

NP: …It doesn’t say the Great Monk…

KW: …Yes! Look at that woman there! She’s thrilled with pride! The breasts are heaving with pride! Oh, yes! Everybody knows!

PJ: Am I going to get the subject back or not?

NP: You never lost the subject.

PJ: Thank you.

NP: We just wanted to hear from Kenneth’s heavy breast-breathing on the…there are nine seconds on Monk, with you Peter, starting now!

PJ: The only Monk in my book is Thelonius Monk. I met him in New Zealand, where he was wearing a sheep-skin jacket on account...


NP: Well, we realise Peter Jones got a lot of points in that round, including one for speaking as the whistle went, and he has increased his position, and gained quite a strong lead. Derek Nimmo, your turn to begin. The subject, whistles. Will you tell us something about those in the game, starting now.

DN: I bought five most beautiful whistles, in fact I had them constructed especially for me in Hong Kong recently. They were, oh, goodness me, frightfully reasonable as whistles go, and they were made of blue serge and a fun little tweed material, and I brought them back with me and, in fact, I actually wore one through the Customs and I was hailed as one of the best-dressed men ever to come through Number Three Terminal…

NP: Er, Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: Judging from the number of suits he’s told us he got and he said he wore them through the Customs, I mean, is he wearing all these suits through the Customs? How many suits is he wearing passing through the Customs?

DN: I wore one.

NP: No, he wore one, which he did say actually.

KW: He said, “I wore them.”

NP: No. He said he wore one…

CF: I thought a… I thought a suit was a whistle.

NP: Yes. In Cockney Rhyming Slang, that’s right. I don’t think he was deviating. No Kenny, Clement. Derek, continue with 37 seconds left, whistles, starting now.

DN: That wonderfully emotive phrase “whistle down the wind”. It derives from the fact that when they were setting a lovely hawk into flight…


NP: Er, Clement Freud!

CF: Repetition of lovely.

NP: Yes.

KW: Oh, very niggling though. I mean, it was a charming sort of story that we were about to hear. And it’s very niggling…

NP: I don’t think its niggling at all.

KW: It’s a very niggling thing. It sounded gorgeous. This hawk going up into the air. I was quite, you know. I was quite…

NP: If we didn’t challenge on legitimate faults in the game…

KW: I think you as the chairman should put your foot down and say, “No, come on, give people a chance to develop a theme.” You see what I mean? You’re not really… playing fair.

NP: You’d be playing an entirely different game and you'd immediately buzz and say, “This is a new rule is it?” All three or all four of you would be right at my throat in no time, you know you would, you wicked so and sos. Erm, Clement Freud, a correct challenge. Thirty seconds left, Whistles, starting now.

CF: I’ve always wondered why it should be a sign of cheerfulness to whistle because, if you remember the Walt Disney tune “Whistle While You Work”, it did imply that there was an element of happiness or at least less than total sedness, sadness.


NP: Er, Derek Nimmo challenged.

CF: My vowels…

DN: He’s corrected himself…

CF: My vowels are not really going very well today.

DN: Sedness, he said, having trouble with his vowels.

CF: Isn’t that odd?

NP: It’s not Clement Freud’s best vowel day today, and Derek, you take the subject back. Fourteen and a half seconds on whistles, starting now.

DN: Well, sometimes you can whistle if you are afraid. That’s quite interesting I thought. But never mind about that. I was walking through Hyde Park and I saw coming towards me two nuns, and I whistled and you should have seen them turn around, and I waved a cheery hand towards them and they gave me a sly wink.


NP: So, Derek Nimmo’s two mun nuns, two muns, two nuns kept him going until the whistle went. He gained the extra point and he’s caught up on Peter Jones and they are together equal in the lead. Clement, we’d like you to begin the next round. The subject is sweet Fanny Adams. Could you talk on it in Just A Minute, starting now.

CF: Sweet Fanny Adams is actually a very tragic tale and this is absolutely true because the lady in question was murdered in the 18th century and her body was found floating in the River Wey in Hampshire or possibly Dorset and the Royal Navy adopted…


NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Mm, the hopfields of Kent.

NP: No, I, for what I know of sweet Fanny Adams, it was the River Wey, whether it was Dorset or Hampshire, I am not sure. I think it was Hampshire. So Clement, you weren’t deviating. Is there someone in the audience who knows about, who lived in the river? What’s that?


NP: Hampshire?

DN: Is there a brickworks nearby?

NP: I didn’t know whether part of the River Wey was also in Dorset. It’s entirely in Hampshire, is it?


NP: Oh, thank you very much… It’s a long river, isn’t it. Er, ladies and gentlemen, the audience now have 2 points, which is a record for Just A Minute. But Clement Freud still keeps the subject. He wasn’t deviating according to the challenge of Derek Nimmo’s, and there are 43 seconds left, sweet Fanny Adams, starting now.

CF: Shortly after this case the Royal Navy adopted Fanny Adams, or, in fact, Sweet Fanny Adams, as another name for tinned mutton. And this is actually… totally…


CF: ... true. I’ve said true before.

NP: Kenneth Williams challenged!

KW: I thought that was hesitation.

NP: Yes, there was a hesitation. It was totally…true.

CF: It was true… and ugly…

NP: ...Mm? Mm? I beg your pardon, Clement Freud.

CF: I didn’t speak.

NP: You haven’t spoken for ages obviously. It’s just that your lips move and words come out. Ah, Kenneth, you have the subject. There are 28 seconds on sweet Fanny Adams, starting now.

KW: Well, we all know those wonderful words, “Sweet Fanny Adams, she is the joy of my heart, writ on my vest, drawn on my chest; I should be sorry if we had to part, sweet Fanny Adams”. I’ve repeated that line...


KW: Somebody should challenge.

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Repetition of sweet.

NP: Er, sweet Fanny Adams is on the card. So there are nine sec’, no, 11 seconds left, for sweet Fanny Adams, still with you Kenneth, starting now.

KW: The reason that Clement Freud has so rightly pointed out that the circumstances were so straight, and it was such a story of...


NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: Yes. Erm, and there are four seconds on sweet Fanny Adams, Clement, starting now.

CF: Sweet Fanny Adams is also another way of saying nothing at all.


NP: Er, Ken, Clement Freud was speaking as the whistle went to gain another point, as well as points in the round, and has increased his lead. The situation now, we must be getting fairly close to the end, is that Derek Nimmo is a few points behind in second place, only one point behind him is Peter Jones, and a few points behind them, Kenneth Williams. Kenneth, we want you to begin the next round. The subject is The Great Piazza Coffee House, and will you tell us something about it in Just A Minute, starting now.

KW: Well, we know that it stood opposite Drury Lane, the theatre there, and that when the theatre went up in flames as it did do on occasion, Sheridan apparently was seen having a glass of wine, was accused of being almost callous, in the face of such appalling disaster, and said one had a right to warm oneself on one’s own fire. Because it was his theatre – well that was the assumption...


NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of theatre – three times now.

KW: Well, I mean. It’s a good story. Why don’t you see, you see, you’re picking on these little things. Is that, do you call that, sportsmanship? I mean, is that playing the game?

DN: I let you get your tag-line in.

NP: It is playing the game of Just A Minute.

KW: You should play the game as an Englishman, and be honourable and noble, as I am. And generous.

NP: Right, erm. I was getting a message then. That “right” was not for…

PJ: Was it from the next world? Or this one?

NP: Well, seeing as it came from our producer I would say it was from the next world. Because that’s the awe with which we treat him.

DN: He’s a sort of mixture of St. Bernadette and Joan of Arc, isn’t he?

NP: Yes, I’m also… There’s other things I’ve been called in this game. We could make a list of them. Er, Derek, I agree with your challenge and you have 49 seconds on The Great Piazza Coffee House, starting now.

DN: The Great Piazza Coffee House, indeed, stood in Covent Garden and there started, like in so many of these places, people coming together and insuring things like at Lloyds, and from these coffee houses sprung up great clubs like Whites, built only, what, in the 18th century...


NP: Kenneth Williams challenged.

KW: Two likes!

NP: Yes. Right. Well done. And you, he was the one who said, “Oh, these little words, it’s so unsporting, oh, it’s rotten, isn’t it? And...”

KW: But its right!

NP: But it is. Kenneth, you have got a correct challenge. There are 30 seconds for you to take on the subject of The Great Piazza Coffee House, starting now.

KW: It was in this particular place, you know, that John Gay had a long chat with that old twit, Doctor Arne. Now I don’t hold with him.I think Rule Britannia is an awful sort of tune anyway and I think the lyrics are pretty rotten too...


NP: Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: Repetition of I think.

NP: Yes, you thought too much in that round.

KW: I think it’s awfully petty, don’t you?...


KW: Picking on these little things all the time. I don’t think they should have MPs in this show at all.

NP: Erm. Perhaps we shouldn’t have actors either, and then where would we be… There are 14 and a half seconds on The Great Piazza Coffee House, with you, Clement, starting now.

CF: One of the most memorable things about the Great Piazza Coffee House is that there was never a pizza house siege. Not there anyway…


CF: …82 people were once….


NP: Er, Kenneth Williams challenged.

KW: Deviation. It says Piazza not pizza. The two things are quite different.

NP: I quite agree.

KW: Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Nicholas. I am glad to see that you recognise the justice of my challenge.

NP: Yes, yes. He’s being complimentary again. I’m getting a bit worried. Erm, Kenneth, you have 4 seconds, on The Great Piazza Coffee House starting now.

KW: Well, you know, the interesting…


NP: Er, Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of you know.

KW: Well, I mean, I mean, to pick on little things like that. Is it fair, Nick?

NP: No, it’s not at all fair. Kenneth, I’ll give it back to you. It wasn’t quite fair. And you’ve got three seconds, two seconds on the Great Piazza Coffee House, starting now.

KW: It was when he wrote, “ A thing of beauty is..."


KW: "...a joy forever”.

NP: So, though I was a little unfair there to Derek because it was a correct challenge, Kenneth came in at the end with the whistle went. So let me just wind up myself by saying that Peter Jones finished only just in fourth place; Kenneth Williams was in a strong third place, just behind Derek Nimmo. But only 2 points ahead of him was our leader this week, our winner, Clement Freud. We hope that you have not only enjoyed the show this week, but we hope that you have enjoyed the series, and I would like to echo all the things that Peter Jones has said about myself, and particularly, if you enjoyed the series, well. Just, let’s hope we’ll be all together again when we play another series. Until then, from all of us here, and all the guests we have had throughout the series, good-bye!

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons, the programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by John Browell.