JAM:PMerton,THawks,KHesketh-Harvey,ACochrane
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, TONY HAWKS, KIT HESKETH-HARVEY and ALUN COCHRANE, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 8 November 2010)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners not only in this country but around the world. But also to welcome to the programme this week four talented, exciting, brilliant, clever, amusing, witty players who are going to show off their skill and ingenuity with words. And those four are, seated on my right, Paul Merton and Kit Hesketh-Harvey. And seated on my left Alun Cochrane and Tony Hawks. Please welcome all four of them! And as usual I am going to ask them to speak on a subject I will give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Beside me sits Sarah Sharpe, she is going to help me keep the score, she will blow a whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from Salford Quays, from the Lowry Centre here, a wonderful building commemorating that great artist. And we have some lovely Salford and Manchester people in the audience. And we will start the show with Paul Merton. Paul, oh very intimate the first one, my first kiss. Paul tell us something about that in this game starting now.

PAUL MERTON: Is that you, Margaret, in the audience, making that noise? Because Margaret was my first kiss. No, I lie actually. I think my first kiss would have been against the mirror like all pre-adolescent boys. You look at your reflection in the mirrored surface and you think to yourself, you're gorgeous! I am going to kiss myself! Of course tongues are a complete waste of time. You end up just clearing the whole bathroom cabinet full of any grime. It looks absolutely beautiful and gorgeous, but it's not really romantic...

BUZZ

NP: Kit challenged.

KIT HESKETH-HARVEY: We've had gorgeous twice, haven't we?

PM: Yes.

NP: Yes we had gorgeous.

KHH: I know he is, and I wouldn't disagree but, heavens above!

NP: It's all right, all right.

KHH: Is it?

NP: And right at the beginning we had mirror twice. Anyway correct challenge and there are 34 seconds still available, you take over the subject Kit having got a point for a correct challenge and you start now.

KHH: My first Kiss was their album Lick It Up which came out in the late 70s. They were the most marvellous American rock band. They used to vomit blood on stage, which turned out to be a mixture of cochineal and yoghurt. So when it came to my first kiss, she was a little bit surprised when I vomited all over her. She was called Tina, she had lovely golden hair and a long tongue for a retriever dog. And... (starts to laugh)

BUZZ

NP: That was...

KHH: It was too revolting, sorry.

NP: What a scene really! Tony you've challenged.

TONY HAWKS: I think he hesitated as he probably did before the kiss. Was there a hesitation there?

NP: There was a hesitation yeah. So you got in with a correct challenge, a point to you Tony and there are six seconds still available, tell me something about my first kiss starting now.

TH: My first kiss was in Manchester because I went to university here. It took me a long time to get my act together but...

WHISTLE

NP: In this game whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Tony Hawks and you won't be surprised to know that he is in the lead at the end of the first round. Alun Cochrane we'd like you to begin the second round, matchsticks. Tell us something about in this game starting now.

ALUN COCHRANE: Matchsticks have a connection to LS Lowry, a local artist and hero, I believe. But also matchsticks can be an excellent gift for an unloved stepchild. And matchsticks can assist you on a long drive from falling asleep. Simply open your eyes as wide as you can and then use the matchsticks to set fire to your feet, you're unlikely to nod off at the wheel. Matchsticks can also be used to make erections. Whilst in prison you can make a Leaning Tower of Pizza or an I-Paul. And I think some of this audience have a particularly low opinion of where I am going with this matchsticks round. Matchsticks are a ah excellent...

BUZZ

NP: Oh they enjoyed that Alun and you haven't played the game as much as the others, but you did go for 40 seconds.

AC: I bet I'll go worse!

NP: Paul was the first to challenge. What was it Paul?

PM: It was hesitation sadly.

NP: Definitely yes and you've got 20 seconds left of course, tell us something about matchsticks in this game starting now.

PM: Matchsticks, they say on every box, keep away from children, but I think that is a radical approach to education. Match box...

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: Well he, he hesitated for dramatic effect but there was a hesitation.

PM: Yeah yeah.

NP: I think we interpret that as hesitation.

PM: Absolutely.

NP: So Kit you've got the subject, you've got 12 seconds and it's matchsticks starting now.

KHH: LS Lowry as you said painted matchsticks but no lacrosse or polo sticks I noticed in this ah...

BUZZ

NP: Tony so we are going to hear from all of you on this subject.

TH: Yes there was a little hesitation there.

NP: There was, I agree with you, you've got five seconds, matchsticks starting now.

TH: Matchsticks you can only use to make fire if you have the box with you which was something Alun...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Well that's clearly not true because some matches, for example, can be struck on window panes.

KHH: Swanvestis.

PM: Yeah Swanvestis can for a start.

KHH: Very good. Or the soles of your feet.

PM: Yes absolutely yes.

NP: Technically speaking Paul, you're correct.

PM: Yes that's why, that's why I challenged.

TH: I had six seconds to go. Why did I say something so controversial? I was a fool to myself!

NP: So one second Paul. Matchsticks starting now.

PM: Matchsticks...

WHISTLE

NP: So Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. He's now equal with Tony Hawks and then comes Kit Hesketh-Harvey, Alun Cochrane. And Kit we'd like you to begin the next round. The subject is sushi. Will you tell us something about sushi in Just A Minute starting now.

KHH: Sushi is a Japanese food which is extraordinarily expensive, perhaps because it is so labour intensive. It is like a maternity ward. It involves a lot of seaweed and tastes as though the sea did exactly that all over your lunch. The main thing to do is to cover it up with condiments. They use pickled ginger which is nothing to do with Chris Evans and the forgotten years. And wasave which is a horse radish so virulent and violent that it is used in smoke alarms for the hard of hearing to wake you up at night. You get a lot of sticky rice, it has to be the right sort. Asmati won't do and you get this gloop, oh I interrupt...

BUZZ

KHH: I said get twice. Can I interrupt myself?

NP: Well Kit, you've actually challenged so I have to ask you what was your challenge.

KHH: I repeated get. I'm so sorry, repetition of get.

NP: You're perfectly correct, you did repeat get. So I suppose the only thing I can do is give you a point for a correct challenge. And congratulate you on your quick hearing and listening.

KHH: Thanks very much indeed.

TH: Nicholas, you may be making a rod for your back here!

NP: Nineteen seconds, you got in, gosh you are clever, aren't you.

KHH: Yes yes!

NP: And you've still got the same subject. Sushi starting now.

KHH: Sushi bars are very trendy with Russian assassins and yuppie posers, though sadly not often at the same time! I'm sure there is lots in the new regenerated Salford which is quite the most exiting place I have visited for a very long time. It's all shiny and very sushi out there. And with a whiff of the ocean about it comes...

WHISTLE

NP: So Kit Hesketh-Harvey started with the subject and he went for nearly 40 seconds and interrupted himself, got a point for that. And he kept going till the end and got a bonus point for speaking as the whistle went.

KHH: Oh what a neat trick!

NP: So you're now in the lead, just one ahead of Tony and Paul.

TH: Am I right in thinking, Nicholas, it's impossible, that's the maximum score you can ever get in a round. Because he's, you know, normally you start and then you speak and then you get a bonus at the end. But he picked up, even picked up a bonus by challenging himself...

NP: No he didn't...

KHH: Have we made history?

NP: No that wasn't a bonus. That was a legitimate won point.

PM: Yeah yeah.

TH: Okay.

NP: A very shady way of doing it and we are not going to encourage it.

TH: Okay.

NP: Please don't take it to heart Tony! Right Tony we'd like you to begin the next round. Five ways to get a good night's sleep. That brought some merriment but can you give us more merriment within the 60 seconds starting now.

TH: Whenever people ask me if I slept well, I like to say "no I made a few mistakes!" And that is an amusing thing to do, I think you'll find. But there are five ways or possibly more. But I have been asked only to speak about these...

BUZZ

NP: Kit challenged.

KHH: Sorry, I nodded off!

NP: All right, what I like to do on those occasions is, because obviously it has got nothing to do with the rules of Just A Minute, we give you a bonus point.

KHH: Oh thank you Nicholas!

NP: No we enjoyed the interruption and the audience applauded. But you were interrupted Tony so you get a point for that and you keep the subject, 46 seconds starting now.

TH: You can of course got out and...

BUZZ

NP: Wait a minute, Alun challenged.

AC: Sorry, I nodded off!

NP: You're working on the assumption that I give bonus points for people who say they nodded off, right. But I must be fair to Alun, because Kit got a round of applause and I gave a bonus point, so Alun I have got to give you a bonus point as well, haven't I.

AC: That was what I was hoping would happen.

NP: I could tell that.

TH: I'm suffering a bit of a crisis of confidence.

NP: I wouldn't worry Tony, because every time you are interrupted you get a point.

TH: Right.

NP: That's another point to you...

TH: I've got a career after this though!

NP: Forty-five seconds are still available, five ways to get a good night's sleep.

TH: Go to a bar and then order five pints of the finest north-western beer that you can get. I forget the name. Tetley's was probably one but I mustn't advertise so all the others are just as good. Drink them all and then...

BUZZ

NP: Alun challenged.

AC: Deviation, I think Tetley's is technically from Yorkshire.

NP: I think you're technically correct.

AC: Thanks.

NP: So Alun, you've got in with 35 seconds to go and the subject is five ways to get a good night's sleep starting now.

AC: Of the five ways to get a good night's sleep, only four are broadcastable. So I will concentrate on those. The first that I enjoy is to actually stick my head between two pillows. Many people find this strange and would think it increases claustrophobia. But I find two massive cushioning... devices...

BUZZ

NP: Paul you challenged.

PM: Hesitation sadly.

NP: Yeah it was just a hesitation. And you got in with 16 seconds to go starting now.

PM: Well the experts are very clear on the five ways of getting a good night's sleep. First of all one must have a hot milky drink, followed by a warm bath and some kind of liquid, preferably water. And then you must realise your dream...

WHISTLE

NP: So Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. And if you are interested in the points, it is very equal now. Tony, Kit and Paul are now equal in the lead and Alun is in second place. Right Paul we'd like you to begin the next round, the subject is the magic of radio. And of course this is a radio festival up here...

PM: Yeah.

NP: ... in Salford here, at Salford Quays. And we'd like you to talk on it Paul and there are 60 seconds as usual starting now.

PM: The magic of radio, as somebody said a long time ago, the scenery is better on radio. And it certainly is an instrument of the imagination. If we are listening to an afternoon play, 3 o'clock, we can be taken to the middle of the Nairobi Desert. Or instead dancing amidst the water...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: There is no desert in Nairobi.

PM: The Nairobi Desert? Is there not? That's changed.

NP: Are you thinking of the Gobi Desert?

PM: Yes so was I.

NP: Yeah.

PM: But that's the magic of radio. It doesn't matter where you are!

NP: So Tony, there are 45 seconds available, the magic of radio starting now.

TH: For me, the magic of radio is the fact that you can just pitch up 10 minutes before if you want. No rehearsals, costumes unnecessary. Make-up, huh! I laugh in the very face of it. And here we are doing just that, some of us got here a little bit earlier, the keen ones. But I have to say got the train with Paul...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of got.

NP: There was too much got.

TH: There were a lot of gots. Not stylish

NP: Yes, you got here, got the train, got the thing and you got challenged. Twenty-four seconds Paul are available, the magic of radio starting now.

PM: If you listen to a current radio production such as Ed Reardon, you can only marvel at the producer's wit and ingenuity in conjuring up this aural landscape which you can immensely emerge yourself into. There are others...

BUZZ

NP: Kit challenged.

KHH: Immincely emerge yourself?

PM: Yeah, immensely emerge yourself.

KHH: Oh I thought you said immincely.

PM: Immincely. Not immincely.

KHH: Immincely. Do you mince when you listen to it?

PM: No no no! Very rarely.

NP: He didn't, he said you immensely emerge yourself.

KHH: Right yes.

NP: There's a lot of...

KHH: What does that mean?

PM: You emerge yourself in an immense way.

KHH: Deviation! I stand by my gun!

NP: No. An incorrect challenge Paul, 11 seconds still with you, on the magic of radio starting now.

PM: One of Nicholas Parsons' first radio appearances was in a wonderful show called Much Binding In The Marsh. And if you listen to the archive...

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: Repetition of listen, I'm sorry.

NP: I know but I wanted to hear what he had to say. Anyway Kit you've cleverly got in with only two seconds to go...

SHOUTS OF "OOOOHHHHH" FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Yes that wasn't popular with the audience. But it's true within the rules of Just A Minute. Two seconds starting now.

KHH: Magic doesn't really work on the radio...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul challenged.

PM: Oh there was hesitation.

NP: No, don't be ridiculous! One second to go, the magic of radio Kit, starting now.

KHH: When I've had my Horlicks...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: I've nodded, I've nodded off!

NP: Well I awarded a bonus point for that, Tony's got a bonus point on that remark, right. And there's half a second to go, the magic of radio, Kit starting now.

KHH: The magic of radio...

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round Paul Merton and Kit Hesketh-Harvey are still equal in the lead, one point ahead of Tony Hawks, and two or three ahead of Alun Cochrane. And Alun we'd like you to begin the next round, why Dad knows bests. Know bests, George Best, I'll say that again. The subject is why Dad knows best starting now.

AC: There are various reasons why Dad knows best. And there are also fewer excuses for why Dad knows bests. But why Dad knows best is because during pregnancy, I'm sorry to say it, but ladies are a host organ and their minds go to mush. My wife found it extremely difficult to recall basic facts. Since then I have lorded it around the house saying Dad knows best. Actually in truth I know very little and she runs the house like a military operation, continually...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Did we have repetition of house?

NP: Yes of the house.

AC: Oh yeah.

NP: You ran around the house before.

AC: It's where we live so... It's bound to happen sooner or later.

NP: Paul you got in with a correct challenge, a point to you, 28 seconds available, why Dad knows best starting now.

PM: Well I suppose the idea behind this subject, why Dad knows best, is that wisdom is lodged in the older generation. And of course this can be true. But quite often the opposite is also the case. And I find...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: I would question his reasoning there. I don't think that is the case. It's about, it's about, it's a sex thing, it's not about the older generation, it's why Dad knows best...

NP: No I think to me he conveyed the fact, the older generation, at that time, that was the saying and that was the accepted truth.

TH: I don't like the way this is going.

NP: And now days we all know... and now we all know often Mum knows best. And as she is often in charge of the house she is entitled to...

TH: I think you may have just argued my point.

NP: No I haven't.

AC: That was also my point. But it sounded like misogyny by accident. Just in case the audience has turned on me, I'd like... I expressed my point badly and I'd like to make up.

PM: It could be, could be a reality show. Misogyny by accident!

NP: Tony I think that Paul was making out the fact that it was that period, it wasn't just that it was Dad. So an incorrect challenge and Paul you've still got the subject, 17 seconds, why Dad knows best starting now.

PM: If you turn towards the father figure in your life and if he is your Dad, that's a good thing, you can say to him I don't understand so many aspects of the modern world. Tell me what it was like back in the 1940s when people had human values. Oh yes there was a...

BUZZ

NP: Oh Tony challenged.

TH: Well you can't do that if your Dad wasn't born in the 1940s.

PM: Well I wouldn't attempt it if he hadn't been.

NP: No.

AC: Well you did say "if you". So ah...

PM: Oh I see yes.

NP: I think I'm confused, I thought you said that if someone said that, it didn't have to be that person's Dad was born then...

PM: No.

TH: I don't like the way this is going.

NP: No, I don't think, Paul, it was a legitimate challenge. I think the fair thing to do was to give them both a point and carry on.

TH: Okay.

NP: Or give them no points at all.

PM: Yeah exactly.

NP: I leave it with you Paul...

PM: Yeah.

NP: ... with one second to go, why Dad knows best starting now.

PM: No he doesn't!

WHISTLE

NP: So Paul Merton with that extra point and others in the round is in the lead now, just ahead, one or two ahead of Kit Hesketh-Harvey, two ahead of Tony Hawks, and three or four ahead of Alun Cochrane. And Kit it's your turn and I think we'd like you to take this subject, conkers. Tell us something about conkers starting now.

KHH: Conkers are the fruit of the horse chestnut tree, the latter name for which is vinchit as in amour omnia, love conquers all. There is an old wives' tale that says that spiders don't...

BUZZ

NP: Alun challenged.

AC: I'm not sure that's the Latin translation!

NP: That's a very clever challenge Alun because I'm not confident to say no or yes. I did study Latin at school and my impression is you are correct.

AC: Yeah!

PM: It was a new language then, wasn't it? It was a new language.

NP: I'm not going to give you a bonus point for that.

PM: I don't want one!

NP: No Alun, you've got a correct challenge and you have 47 seconds, tell us something about conkers starting now.

AC: Conkers was the original draft of Dizzy Rascal's recent hit, Bonkers. But then he realised that it probably wouldn't be a commercial success and went for a different song entirely. Conkers was also an original video game that didn't...

BUZZ

NP: Kit challenged.

KHH: Original twice, wasn't it. Wasn't that a repetition?

NP: You had two originals yes.

KHH: I'm sorry.

NP: Originals two yes, Kit you've got the subject back.

KHH: Good Lord!

NP: You have 33 seconds still available, conkers starting now.

KHH: There is an old wives' tale that says that spiders don't...

BUZZ

NP: Alun challenged.

AC: Repetition of old wives'.

NP: You had the old wives.

KHH: Did I manage to get it in before the ah...

NP: Yes.

KHH: Oh Lord! I'm sorry, my mind...

NP: So well listened Alun. You've got another point.

KHH: Well done Alun!

NP: You've got 30 seconds, tell us a bit more Alun about conkers starting now.

AC: When conkers fall from the trees and your car is parked under them, it can be extremely frightening as you walk away from the vehicle in question, and they can land on the floor...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: No they can't! There's nothing frightening about a conker landing on a car.

PM: You don't know, he might be a conker-phobic! An irrational fear of conkers!

NP: Brilliant.

KHH: It could be an open top car.

PM: Yeah. And he might have just come from the hospital, having suffered a major head injury.

TH: I don't like the way this is going.

PM: He doesn't like the way it's going.

NP: I think all that's been said justifies the fact that I don't give it against you Alun.

AC: Thanks.

NP: I mean you could have a phobia about conkers.

PM: Yeah.

NP: I think it's very uncomfortable to suddenly have a conker shower on your head.

PM: Absolutely.

NP: You don't know what's happened, do you.

PM: No.

NP: No. So incorrect challenge Alun, another point to you, you're catching up on the others. I'll say that on the microphone, you're catching up on the others. Twenty seconds to go starting now.

AC: Yesterday as I was walking away from my open top vehicle...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: He did say vehicle last time round.

NP: That's right yes.

AC: Ohhhhh!

NP: Oh right. Tony you've got in with clever listening, 17 seconds, conkers starting now.

TH: When I was a young boy, I used to collect conkers. Strap a little...

BUZZ

NP: Alun challenged.

AC: Sorry it's just I'm scared of conkers and he mentioned it!

NP: Alun, Alun... yes?

PM: Very insensitive I thought.

AC: I'd really rather you stopped talking about it.

NP: But it got a good laugh.

PM: Yeah exactly.

NP: What we do Alun, it's got nothing to do with the rules of Just A Minute, we give you a bonus point.

PM: Yeah.

NP: Because we enjoyed the interruption.

PM: Yeah.

TH: I think, is it wise to perhaps cover his ears for the rest of this round? I don't want to do an injury to him or anything.

NP: No because I think he was only playing for a laugh.

TH: Oh okay.

NP: Not a serious thought.

TH: Fine.

NP: You've got a point because you were interrupted Tony, so there's no complaints, 14 seconds, conkers starting now.

TH: Skewer them, then pass a little bit of string through the middle, then start whacking 10 tons of power out of the next conker that another child is holding, and then wonder...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Sorry, how can you whack 10 tons of power out of a conker?

NP: You can't.

PM: You can't, no. Not 10 tons of power.

TH: No.

NP: No, metaphorically speaking he was trying to convey that.

PM: Exactly.

NP: I think Paul, benefit of the doubt and you have six seconds on conkers starting now.

PM: I don't want Alun to hear me say the word, or indeed his mother be listening to the radio if the word conkers comes out...

WHISTLE

NP: So what's the score, because I've just been told this is the last round. So as we go into the final round, let me give the situation. Paul was then speaking as the whistle went, got the extra point. He's just marginally in the lead ahead of Kit Hesketh-Harvey and Tony Hawks who are equal in second place. And they are just three points ahead of Alun Cochrane who is in third place. So that's the situation. Tony it's your turn to begin. And the subject is a rather sweet one, having a duvet day. Tell us something about having a duvet day in Just A Minute starting now.

TH: I usually allow a complete day for putting a duvet cover on. It is the most extraordinarily difficult thing. I begin by...

BUZZ

NP: Alun challenged.

AC: It's not that difficult! There's a really good trick if you turn it inside out and then just whip it like that, it really gets it straight on.

NP: Alun, trying to be fair within the rules, I mean that to you, it's not difficult, but to Tony it obviously is very difficult.

AC: You're right. My motor skills are a bit more advanced than Tony's.

TH: Well at least I'm not scared of conkers!

NP: So Tony an incorrect challenge, 51 seconds available, having a duvet day starting now.

TH: I think we should all have a national duvet day where we all go out on to the street...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Sorry was that joo-vet.

NP: No no.

PM: Was it joo-vet day?

NP: It did sound a bit like that but no no, we know what he meant.

PM: Yeah okay.

NP: Duvet day, it came out joo-vet day. He's going at such a pace.

PM: Yeah.

NP: He couldn't help it, right, 47 seconds, Tony with you still, having a duvet day starting now.

TH: I'm not certain about this but I can only assume that duvet is perhaps a French word introduced into us by them. And we have used it for some time now for the little cover that goes over... oh well!

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: Ah was it?

PM: Was it Kit?

NP: Was it Kit? Your light came on yes.

KHH: Was it? Sorry we're so close, me and Paul. Ah he crashed and burned.

NP: Yeah. Yes I should explain to our listeners, Kit and Paul are sitting close, beside each other. And on that side...

KHH: Sharing a duvet actually!

PM: Yes.

NP: And actually the light came on in front of me and we say it's Kit, got in there fractionally ahead of Paul in the challenge. And he's got 33 seconds to tell us something about having a duvet day starting now.

KHH: My sympathies are entirely with Tony Hawks in this matter. It takes me hours. I struggle and people look through the window and think that the Ku Klux Klan has moved to...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Have they changed their name? Have they changed their name? Is it like Kentucky Fried Chicken, they've changed their name?

KHH: Did I get that wrong?

PM: Deviation, Ku Klux Klan.

KHH: What did I say? Klarn?

TH: Klarn.

KHH: Klarn, I'm very posh.

PM: Yes.

NP: Paul you've got in with a correct challenge, 23 seconds, tell us something about having a duvet day starting now.

PM: Well I openly admit I don't know what having a duvet doo dedoo hee ...

BUZZ

PM: I can't even say it, let alone know what it means! What does it mean?

NP: I don't know, Kit will tell us.

KHH: I will, yes.

NP: You've got a correct challenge.

KHH: Do I get the subject?

NP: You've got 19 seconds, a correct challenge, having a duvet day Kit, starting now.

KHH: It's an American term, Paul.

PM: Is it?

KHH: It came over meaning when you call in with a sickie, two or three times a year and it's perfectly legitimate. You're allowed to tell your employer I got absolutely bladdered last night and I simply can't face coming in to work. You've got a bit of a headache or somebody rather nice in bed with you and you don't wish to stir. But it is not against the rules if it is...

WHISTLE

NP: So yes it means if you are faking it and not getting into work. So you are staying at home and having a duvet day. Right, let me give you the final score. Alun Cochrane who hasn't played as much as the others, came back and excelled fantastically, but finished in fourth place. But that doesn't matter, it's the contribution that is so important. He was a few points behind Tony Hawks, and he was one point behind Kit Hesketh-Harvey. And Kit was two points behind Paul Merton so we say Paul, you are the winner this week. Thank you, thank you it only remains for me to say thank you to these four fine players of the game, Paul Merton, Kit Hesketh-Harvey, Tony Hawks and Alun Cochrane. I thank Sarah Sharpe, who has helped me with the score, blown her whistle most elegantly after the 60 seconds elapsed. We thank our producer Claire Jones. We are indebted to the creator of this game, Ian Messiter. And we are very grateful to this lovely audience here in Salford Quays at the Lowry Theatre who have cheered us on our way. From them, and from me Nicholas Parsons, and the panel, good-bye, thank you for tuning in, be with us the next time we play Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC