NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!


NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome not only our listeners. But also to welcome to this show four talented exuberant and highly comic fellows who are going to play this particular game. And they are, seated on my right, that lovely comedian, Paul Merton. Beside him another exceptional comedienne, Jenny Eclair. And seated on my left, we have that lovely comedian as well, Julian Clary. And beside him another great comic figure and talented writer, Gyles Brandreth. Will you please welcome all four of them! Seated beside me is Trudi Stevens, who is going to help me keep the score, and she will blow a whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the White Rock Pavilion, in the wonderful seaside resort of Hastings. And we have an enthusiastic Sussex audience in front of us. As I ask my panel at different times to speak on the subject I give them and they try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And let us start with you Paul. Paul, oh what an apt subject to begin with, 1066. Paul can you tell us something about 1066 in this game starting now.

PAUL MERTON: Sitting here in the White Rock Theatre rather than the Pavilion which you mentioned earlier, I think to myself 1066 country. It's not your fault Nicholas. It changed its name in 1927 when you were last here in a play. If you go to Battle, which is not very far from here, that was where, indeed, they had the most almighty encounter. Strange that that place should be so named, but it was in fact gained its nomenclature after the frenzied fighting that had gone on, rather than being known as, I know where there's a place to have a fight, it's called Battle. That's twice I've said Battle, that's three times.


NP: Gyles you've challenged.

GYLES BRANDRETH: A feast of Battles.

NP: A feast of Battles.

PM: Yes.

NP: Yes so that's a correct challenge, a repetition, you take over the subject and you have 29 seconds, 1066 starting now.

GB: When Nicholas first came here and began dialling Hastings 1066, he used to get the knocking shop in Warrior Square. But things have changed since then. In my day of course it was 1066 And All That, a wonderful book that I read at my preparatory school. Other boys were beneath the bedclothes, reading purloined copies of Lady Chatterley's Lover, but I...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of reading.

NP: That's right, they were all reading, weren't they. You were reading it, they were reading it.

PM: You were reading it, they were reading it.


PM: Is that the tide going out?

NP: Audience, those are the rules of the game! Right Paul a correct challenge and you have eight seconds and you have 1066 and you start now.

PM: I bought a very cheap digital watch on one occasion and I looked at it and it told me the time was 1066. I thought this is unbelievable...


NP: Whoever is speaking in this game when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Paul Merton, and he has got two points at the end of the round. Gyles has got one, the other two are yet to speak. And Jenny will you begin the next round, the subject now, the Midas touch. Will you tell us something about that in this game starting now.

JENNY ECLAIR: This comes from Bad King Midas who wished that everything he touched to gold. Oh that backfired when all his food and drink turned into precious metal. He could not imbibe or eat, what could he do? He had to wash away that what he wished for in the river...


NP: Julian challenged.

JULIAN CLARY: Well she did er do repetition.

NP: Of what?

JC: If she didn't do hesitation earlier on. Of what, the word what.

NP: That's quite true, you did actually.

JE: Is he allowed to do that?

NP: No I don't think so, but as I said... in other words, it's never happened before, but it is a correct challenge. So within the rules of Just A Minute, I suppose, it's a correct challenge. And you've got 39 seconds on the Midas touch Julian, starting now.

JC: Once in the Souks of Marrakesh, I met a man called Tom Midas. He had the Midas touch, I can tell you. He was a qualified masseur, as I laid spread-eagled on...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Tom Midas?

JC: That's what he said his name was. Do you know him?

PM: No I don't.

NP: And I don't...

JC: I've got his number.

PM: Tom? Tom? Tom Midas?

JC: Yes, look under M in the phone book.

PM: I think it's deviation.

NP: Within the rules of Just A Minute, none of us know whether this Tom Midas exists or not.

JC: I told you he does.

NP: I know, I accept your word on that Julian.

JC: Thank you.

NP: But he...

JC: And he had a brother called Michael.

PM: Michael Midas?

JC: Yes!

NP: There are 31 seconds Julian, you have the benefit of the doubt on this occasion, so everybody's had a benefit of the doubt now...

PM: Yes.

NP: ... 31 seconds, the Midas touch starting now.

JC: He had very gifted fingers which got into every nook and cranny down my spine. And I felt very relaxed as I walked out of that parlour. I felt like a new man, but could I find one?


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Felt twice. He was probably felt all over loads of times. But on this occasion he was felt twice.

NP: Two felt twice, Jenny yes. You have a correct challenge, you have 22 seconds, tell us something more about the Midas touch starting now.

JE: Lot, lots of people are said to have the Midas touch, people like... oh no!


JE: Oh I've done it!

NP: Yes.

JE: I know what I did!

NP: Yes and Julian was the first to challenge.

JC: Yes well repetition.

NP: Of people.

JC: Yes.

NP: Right, well done. The um, 19 seconds Julian, the Midas touch starting now.

JC: He was also a very good gardener and he came round...


NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: Earlier he had been a good masseur.

NP: He had been a good masseur, now he is a good gardener.

GB: Correct.

NP: Repetition of good yes. So Gyles you got in on the subject of the Midas touch, 16 seconds starting now.

GB: A little sleep, a touch of slumber, some folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a vagabond, and want like an armed man. It says in the book of Proverbs, because frankly the Bible doesn't believe...


NP: Jenny challenged.

GB: ... in the Midas touch.

JE: I didn't know what he was talking about! I claim it is deviation!

PM: You can't, you can't start challenging if you don't know what other people are talking about, can you? It'd just be a programme of endless bell-ringing!

NP: I'm sure a lot of us didn't know. But it was very impressive.

PM: Yes.

JE: He was.

NP: And he quoted from the Proverbs, which is even more impressive, so...

PM: Is he allowed to use other people�s material?

GB: It's a God-given gift!

NP: I think we do that all the time in this game. Right Gyles, the benefit of the doubt on this occasion, the Midas touch, six seconds starting now.

GB: The point is labour has to be endured before you can actually make any money. Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light...


NP: So at the end of that round they have all been getting points. Gyles Brandreth has moved now into the lead, one ahead of Julian, and Paul's now in third place, just ahead of Jenny Eclair. And Gyles it's your turn to begin...

PM: How embarrassing!

JC: Isn't it exciting!

NP: Yes, I must say telling the score moves that audience into a seat of ecstasy doesn't it!

PM: You've whipped them up into a coma!

NP: But I do get letters from listeners, they do like to know the, er, state of play as the show progresses...

PM: Nicholas, I write those letters! He doesn't get any letters!

NP: Right Gyles, your turn to begin, the subject, great expectations. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

GB: Great Expectations is a novel by Charles Dickens, written I think in about 1860. Probably his thirteenth novel, the one that followed...


NP: Julian challenged.

GB: Oh blast!

JC: Um...

GB: Blast!

JC: No don't be cross, because it was a mistake, I said repetition of novel.

NP: That's right, it is.

JC: So I was right, was I?

NP: You were right yes.

JC: Oh okay! Hurrah!

NP: Fifty-three seconds, great expectations Julian starting now.

JC: When I heard I was coming to Hastings, I had great expectations. A beautiful afternoon in July, I'll be sitting on the beach, I thought, tucking into my sandwiches. But as I drove into town, the heavens opened and there was a clap of thunder. My little dog Valerie who is sitting backstage in a dressing room, was all aquiver. She doesn't like big noises. You should see her on fireworks night. She has to be sedated...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of she.

NP: That's right, she, yes.

GB: Ohhhh!

NP: So Paul, 29 seconds, great expectations starting now.

PM: As Tom Midas walked towards me, I had great expectations. I'd heard Julian's recommendations and I knew I was up for something special. He stripped...


NP: Julian challenged.

JC: He didn't believe he existed two minutes ago!

NP: Yes but when I gave you the benefit of the doubt and you carried on talking...

JC: He suddenly remembered, did he!

PM: I texted him! I've texted him!

NP: No we did establish within the rules of Just A Minute that he did exist. That's why you were allowed to continue talking about him.

PM: Yeah.

NP: But we did enjoy your interruption so we give you a bonus point for that Julian.

JC: Oh thank you. Keep your hands off him!

NP: And Paul you were interrupted so you have another point and you have 19 seconds still, great expectations starting now.

PM: Mickey Midas... I've said Midas three times!


NP: Jenny?

JE: He said Midas three times!

NP: I know he did. Right Jenny, a point to you and 17 seconds, great expectations starting now.

JE: I haven't read it. Hopefully the BBC will adapt it on Sunday evenings...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of B. BBC.

JE: Oh! You're cruel to me! I'm biting the hand that is feeding me!

NP: I know!

PM: How?

NP: It isn't...

JE: The BBC is paying me for this gig!

PM: Yes?

JE: I don't know.

NP: Right! But it was a repetition of B.

JE: Yeah wasn't it.

NP: So Paul, you have a correct challenge, 15 seconds, more about great expectations starting now.

PM: The Midases are wonderful...


NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: Back to this Midas family.

NP: Yes.

PM: No, Midas and Midases. I said the Midases that time, being plural.

GB: No, but it's M-I-D-A-S-apostrophe. And therefore it's the same spelling of Midas, repetition of the word Midas. This is...

PM: How can, how can...

GB: No mention of punctuation marks or apostrophes in the rules of this game. I'm hoping the respect I showed earlier will now show off.

NP: I thought he was talking about more than one Midas when he said Midases.

PM: Yes exactly.

NP: I don't know if it is a correct word or not.

JE: I don't think there is a Mrs Midas, not from what Julian said.

GB: He used that... how do you spell Parsons in the plural? Parsons with an apostrophe.

NP: Yes.

GB: Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, that's the point.

NP: We are, we are working in the realm of spoken word, and not the written word, so we don't...

GB: Yes yes, it's the same as the spoken word.

NP: He said Midases which is, sounds different to Midas.

PM: Yeah.

GB: He was speaking the punctuation!

NP: But he still said Midases which was not Midas. So within the rules of Just A Minute as I understand them, and I have been playing the game for 40 years now...

GB: So respect counts for nothing?

JE: Fight! Fight!

NP: No, no...

PM: You hold this programme together Nicholas, you really do!

NP: You've definitely got the subject now! No you have the subject because...

GB: You're not interested in respect, but fawning you like?

NP: No I'm interested in trying to...

PM: You're a Conservative, Gyles, you must understand these things!

NP: I try to stick to the rules and see justice and fair play. Paul you have the benefit of the doubt, 13 seconds, great expectations still with you starting now.

PM: Great Expectations is of course one of the greatest books in the English language. When Charles Dickens composed this magnificent work, he was able to place himself in the ranks of other fine English writers of the period...


NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: I think a repetition of the word English.

NP: Yes, one of the great English books...

PM: Yes could be.

NP: Right.

PM: I wasn't, to be honest, I wasn't really listening!

NP: I know!

PM: Something I have in common with everybody else in this theatre!

NP: So...

PM: Or pavilion!

NP: You've got in and you'll be pleased to hear you've only got one second Gyles, on great expectations starting now.

GB: It's an amazing movie as well...


NP: So Jenny Eclair who has given great value already, but she's trailing a little in fourth place. But out there in front Gyles and Paul Merton and Julian Clary are both, are equal just one ahead. Right Julian, Welsh rabbit. Will you talk about that in this game starting now.

JC: Welsh rabbit is a rather exotic name for a fairly simple dish, I believe it's just cheese on toast. Get it down you, go to bed and mind your own business. It's got nothing to do with Wales, it's got nothing to do with rabbits...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Got nothing.

NP: Two nothings to do.

JC: And two doo-doos.

PM: Yeah.

JE: Doo-doos?

NP: Forty-nine seconds, Welsh rabbit Jenny starting now.

JE: I like to put a little bit of marmite on my toast, then grate cheddar cheese. There's nothing Welsh, as Julian said, unless you use Cafilly which is a cheese from that region.


JE: Yeah I know what I've done.

NP: Gyles has challenged.

PM: Too cheesy.

GB: Two cheeses. I mean...

JE: Yeah full of cheese.

GB: But possibly the first cheese was in the singular, and the second one was in the plural, and therefore it won't be allowed, she'll get an extra point.

NP: This has really got to you, hasn't it Gyles.

GB: Well it's a thought, it's a thought.

NP: I admire the purity you have about the English language, but we are playing a game. So I have to play within the rules of that, but that is a correct challenge.

GB: Thank you.

NP: You have therefore 39 seconds on Welsh rabbit starting now.

GB: Ah when I was in...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Hesitation sadly, at the crucial time.

NP: I know, at the crucial time. You did stumble a little, didn't you.

GB: I was just puckering my lips!

NP: It was very, it was very beautiful Gyles.

GB: It was!

NP: We were quite moved, so we give you the benefit of the doubt Gyles and say you have 38 seconds still on Welsh rabbit starting now.

GB: Theatrical digs in Swansea are amazing places. I stayed in one where I was introduced to the initials L-D-O in the visitor's book, standing for Landlady's Daughter Obliges. Her name was Mfanwe and...


GB: ... she was a Welsh rabbit...

NP: Julian challenged.

JC: It was a long time coming...

GB: No!

JC: ... the connection to Welsh rabbit.

GB: No, forgive me, I...

JC: Don't touch me please!

GB: ... began by talking about Welsh.... I have a cousin who is a Midas!

NP: Actually Julian you are quite right, you challenged before he got to the Welsh rabbit, I mean...

GB: No! Excuse me! Excuse me! I'm so sorry! I began by saying Swansea which we know is a town in South Wales. I brought in the Welsh connection. I then led on to Mfanwe who was indeed a rare... you may even have known her yourself Nicholas.

NP: I know that's why I want to get away from the subject.

GB: Yeah!

PM: Gyles, Gyles, is this programme the biggest thing in your life!

NP: It is! Any game is the biggest thing in his life! I love, I love his enthusiasm and his commitment.

PM: yeah.

NP: No I want to be utterly fair here. You were taking a long time getting to the Welsh rabbit. You were challenged before you got there. So Julian you have Welsh rabbit, 24 seconds starting now.

JC: Has anyone got a stun gun? The thing about Welsh rarebit, it's a marvellous combination of protein and carbohydrate if you think about the actual content and break it down. Bread being one, and cheese being...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of cheese.

NP: Yes you got a...

JC: Yes a lot of cheese about.

NP: Yes so Paul you've got 12 seconds now on Welsh rabbit starting now.

PM: John Charles, the Welsh centre forward, was a magnificent footballer. He moved...


NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: There's not been a lot of mention of Welsh rabbit yet! I ought to explain to you...

PM: I said the word Welsh!

GB: Yeah I said the word Swansea.

PM: Yes.

GB: And I ought to put this in context. I mean I have to say of course I'm frantic to win, I'm desperate to win. I think it's been mentioned. I was a Conservative Member of Parliament, I have faced humiliation in my time! When I was rejected I have to tell you, 82,723 people got up on the same day with the selfsame object in mind, get this bugger out!

NP: Gyles...

GB: I've been trying to claw my way back ever since.

PM: You won't do it via this show! This is what you do on the way down!

NP: Gyles you have a point for your desperate interruption which the audience enjoyed, a bonus point to you Gyles for that, and you were interrupted...

PM: If he doesn't win, he is going to go on a shooting spree through the town!

JE: Can I have a point for desperation as well?

NP: Yes darling, as well...

PM: Jenny's been desperate for years!

NP: You keep the subject, six seconds, Welsh rabbit starting now.

PM: First you get the cheese, you must...


PM: I've not said cheese before!

NP: Jenny?

JE: I thought you had before.

PM: No, everybody else has said cheese.

JE: So much cheese! I presumed.

PM: You presumed cheese where no cheese existed,

NP: Yes so another point to you Paul and four seconds on Welsh rabbit starting now.

PM: The bread is also very important. Some people like white, others...


NP: Julian challenged.

JC: Repetition of very.

NP: Yes, very important, there was very before.

JE: Well done Julian!

NP: So Julian you got in with half a second to go on Welsh rabbit starting now.

JC: Wesh, Welsh rabbit...



NP: Gyles you challenged before the whistle.

GB: Yes I did.

NP: And what was it? Hesitation?

GB: Hesitation is what it was.

NP: Right you've got it.

PM: Nicholas, do us a favour, don't give it to him, and see what happens!

NP: No!

PM: His head will go round and round!

NP: No it's quarter of a second for you Gyles on Welsh rabbit starting now.

GB: Bear...


NP: So I said it was very close there. Jenny Eclair did unfortunately finish in fourth place. But she did wonderfully wonderful. A rare bit of rarebit that was. And Jenny would you take the next round, the subject is like a fishwife. Will you tell us something about that subject...

PM: You can do your impressions.

JE: I don't see why I should get this round! Have you started?

NP: No no we haven't started yet.

JE: Sorry I sounded a bit like a fishwife then, didn't I.

NP: No no no you haven't got to sound like a fishwife.

JE: Oh.

NP: I mean there are a lot of fishwives, and fishwomen down here, so you know it's a...

PM: You're thinking if mermaids, fishwomen, aren't you.

NP: There are a lot of people who work in the fish industry, because they bring in the cod and other things to this place here.

PM: They do.

NP: And they are wives of fishermen.

PM: Yeah.

NP: And they're called fishwives.

PM: Yes.

NP: Talk on that subject Jenny, 60 seconds starting now.

JE: I'm not like a fishwife because my partner is a designer. Unfortunately not married so I am no wife at all. I am a designer's partner, there you go, it's a...


NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: Designer.

NP: Yes there's a couple of designers in there.

PM: Weren't they designer and designers?

JE: Yes.

GB: No no.

NP: No no.

GB: There was an apostrophe.

PM: Single and plural.

GB: No.

NP: We're not going down the apostrophe route, Gyles.

GB: I want you to know...

NP: You have the subject and 50 seconds, like a fishwife starting now.

GB: Do you recall Margaret Beckett?


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: No I don't!

NP: Right Paul, give him a bonus point because we enjoyed the interruption, that goes to Paul. Gyles was interrupted so he gets a point, keeps the subject, and there are 48 seconds, like a fishwife starting now.

GB: The former Foreign Secretary was not admired as much at Westminster as she should have been. In fact she was a much jollier person than you would have thought. Goose her and she livened up no end!


NP: Jenny challenged.

GB: I was very distressed on the occasion when she...

JE: I haven't heard the word fish or wife yet.

GB: Yeah we're about, I am about to tell the story of how somebody called her a fishwife, and how I came to try to defend her. But I'm happy to lose points, it's simply...

JC: We've got the point of the story now!

GB: That's fine, that's fine.

NP: It's happened once before and you had the benefit of the doubt against you, you have the benefit of the doubt for you on this occasion, you have like a fishwife still, you have 40 seconds starting now.

GB: Fishes actually do mate and so you could actually be a fish, have a husband and be a fish...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Actually twice.

GB: Oh yes yes.

NP: Yes.

GB: Yes I'm happy to lose the point.

NP: You actually haven't lost a point Gyles, Paul has gained one.

GB: He's moving into the lead, if that's what he is up to, that's what he wants, you know! It seems to matter to him, but there we are, you know. Some of us have a more relaxed approach to life than this!

NP: Paul, 37 seconds, tell us something about like a fishwife starting now.

PM: Madonna's follow-up single to Like A Virgin was Like A Fishwife. What a wonderful song it was! I can remember her now on top of the pops, dancing away. And it was indeed one of those disco backbeat songs that gets the kids dancing in the discotheques of today�s Britain. Fishwives...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: I really hate to challenge it because it's very good but dancing twice.

NP: There was dancing twice.

PM: Why do you hate to challenge?

JE: Because I like the picture of Madonna dancing like a fishwife!

PM: Yeah!

NP: But Jenny you have the point and you have the subject, and you have 22 seconds, like a fishwife, starting now.

JE: As she danced with fish, raw fish, all around her, Madonna the fishwife...


NP: Gyles...

JE: ... swearing...

NP: Oi, oi, oi, oi, you were challenged.

PM: Hang on! Oi, oi, oi, oi? What�s happened to Radio Four? Oi, oi, oi, oi?

NP: I'm sorry, the subject's got to me! Oi, oi, oi, oi, yeah right! Gyles you challenged.

GB: Naturally I don't want a point for this, but um, I imagine on the card, it's like a fishwife, fishwife being one word. And therefore when we have fish on its own as a separate word and it's heard three times...

NP: That's correct, that's correct Gyles.

GB: That's fine.

NP: You have the point, you have a correct challenge, she repeated fish. And you have 20 seconds to tell us something about like a fishwife starting now.

GB: Can you imagine these deep sea creatures going in for civil partnerships? Probably conducted by Neptune himself. He would get together some amusing seals and aqua beasts of different kinds, and there on the rocks with mermaids and mermen, they would together have this strange seaweed like experience where the fishwife would say "ah to thee I give my..."


NP: Now I think we are moving into the last round.

PM: Oh?

NP: Well four people are disappointed. It's a very close contest if you want to know the situation as we move into this final round. Jenny Eclair who has given great value already but she is trailing a little in fourth place. But out there in front, Gyles is on 12 points, and Paul Merton and Julian Clary are both equal with 13, only just one ahead. So...

GB: Oh!

NP: Very close contest! And it's Julian�s turn to begin. And the subject, right Julian, the subject, oh so apt for the seaside, bucket and spade. Tell us something about that subject in this game Julian starting now.

JC: When I was a little boy and we went on holiday, I used to love my bucket and spade. But unlike other children who might build a sandcastle, I created a discotheque! And people...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: It's a shame because he hesitated, I was enjoying the story.

NP: I don't think he hesitated. He just gave a little gentle dramatic pause, and, no he hadn't really, no...

JE: You'd forgot what you say next.

NP: No I think it's one of those things, benefit of the doubt, he didn't hesitate enough, 49 seconds, bucket and spade Julian starting now.

JC: Or a disco. Entrance is very reasonable. You have to wear trunks obviously, it wasn't that kind of arrangement. People would come from resorts for miles around and form a...


NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: I felt there was a hesitation then.

NP: No there wasn't! I think he was going quite consistently with his own speech pattern.

GB: I'm so sorry, I didn't realise that he had that speech pattern! It's unusual to invite somebody with a hesitant speech pattern on to this particular programme!

NP: Gyles...

PM: Gyles, Gyles, you'd be amazed at the people they invite on to this programme!

NP: And Gyles you try so hard in the show, which we love, but you were really pushing it. But no no, benefit of the doubt to you Julian and carry on, bucket and spade and you have 40 seconds starting now.

JC: I'm starting to imagine I'm hesitating now! Anyway the other thing you can do with a bucket and spade is to go down to the sea itself, and scoop up some water in your upturned bucket, take it back to whatever you might have built, and...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Two builts.

NP: Yes you built before I'm afraid. So Jenny you have a correct challenge of repetition, you have 26 seconds, tell us something about bucket and spade starting now.

JE: Bucket and spade, don't it sound like Cockney rhyming slang. I just got bucket and... spade!


NP: Paul yes?

JE: I caught a speech pattern from Julian then! Do you see?

PM: Hesitation.

NP: That was a definite hesitation.

PM: Wasn't it, wasn't it just.

JE: It was in character, my character that I was performing.

NP: I think you should stick to your own character Jenny.

JE: Fine.

NP: It's probably better, easier in the show. But Paul yes, hesitation we call that, 20 seconds, bucket and spade starting now.

PM: Tommy Bucket and Sammy Spade were the best double act in the 1930s. Nicholas worked with them often. He was the sort of individual who would go up to them and say "you are fantastic, Bucket, and Spade you've done it again!" In the audience one night was Tom Midas. What an extraordinary figure to see him there as Bucket and Spade...


NP: In this game whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point, on this occasion it was Paul Merton. Jenny Eclair did unfortunately finished just in fourth place but she did wonderfully wonderful. But out in front was Gyles Brandreth, Julian Clary and Paul Merton, and they all finished up equal with the same number of points, we have triple winners! No-one is a loser in this game...

PM: Jenny is!

JE: I am! I'm almost proud of that!

NP: I was incorrect Jenny, we had three winners and you were in second place!

PM: Yes!

GB: Jenny Jenny, winning isn't important!

NP: Oh Gyles and you demonstrate it all the time. Thank you to these four delightful wonderful exciting players of the game, Paul Merton, Jenny Eclair, Gyles Brandreth, Julian Clary. I thank Trudi Stevens, who has sat beside me, helped me with the score, blown her whistle so delicately. We are grateful to our producer Tilusha Ghelani. We are deeply indebted to Ian Messiter who created this lovely game. And we are grateful to this lovely audience here in Hastings at the White Rock Theatre who have cheered us on our way magnificently. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from our audience, from me Nicholas Parsons, and the panel, good-bye, tune in listeners the next time we play Just A Minute!