starring PAUL MERTON, TIM RICE, CHRIS NEILL and ALUN COCHRANE, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 22 January 2007)

NOTE: Alun Cochrane's first appearance.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!


NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners, in this country and throughout the world. But also to welcome to the programme, four exciting talented and extrovert players of this game. It's a great pleasure always to welcome back, sitting on my right, that wonderful outstanding comedian, Paul Merton. And seated beside him, we have a young comedian who is making a great name for himself and it's the first time on his show, so we welcome Alun Cochrane. And seated on my left, we have that master of lyrics and musical comedy shows and a dedicated cricket follower, that is Tim Rice. And beside him we sit another engaging comedy performer, Chris Neill. Would you please welcome all four of them! Seated beside me is Charlotte Davies, who is going to help me keep the score, run the stopwatch, and blow a whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the delightful Everyman Theatre in the heart of that wonderful regency town of Cheltenham, a gem in the whole Gloucestershire countryside.


NP: And you must realise we have a keen Gloucestershire audience here ready to cheer us on our way and welcome us. As we start the show with Alun. It's round robins. Tell us something about round robins in this game, starting now.

ALUN COCHRANE: Obesity is a huge problem in the bird community, and is nothing to do with football in any way whatsoever. Many many animals...


AC: Oh yeah! Don't repeat many, note to self.

NP: Paul you challenged first.

PAUL MERTON: Repetition of many.

NP: Yes and 51 seconds available now, round robins starting now.

PM: Cheltenham Town Football Club's nickname are the Robins. And you couldn't find a worse team if you looked. They were terrible last week, just awful. Your goalkeeper's just got to be sacked, he was dreadful and terrible in the crosses, the right flanks...


NP: Tim challenged.

TIM RICE: Two terribles.

PM: Yeah they are, they're awful. Too terrible, absolutely.

NP: I don't think you'll be welcomed back in Cheltenham, Paul. Anyway correct challenge Tim, and another point to you, 41 seconds, round robins starting now.

TR: Cheltenham Town Football Club is known as the Robins. And what a magnificent side they are! A brilliant team with superb tactics, great defensive skills...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: They're rubbish! Deviation!

NP: I think according to you, they're rubbish.

PM: Yeah.

NP: According to Tim, they're magnificent.

TR: Ask the audience to vote please. Ask this unbiased Cheltenham audience.

NP: I think they might be prejudiced. Tim you have the benefit of the doubt, and 34 seconds on round robins starting now.

TR: In particular their goalkeeper is a man of great distinction and skill...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: What's his name? This goalkeeper of...

TR: Jervais Sinclair.

PM: He knew it! He knew it!

CHRIS NEILL: Is that true?

TR: Of course.

NP: Another benefit of the doubt to you Tim, round robins is with you, 31 seconds starting now.

TR: Jervais Sin...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Deviation, I don't believe the goalkeeper is called...

NP: No but he repeated Jervais.

CN: Oh Jervais, yes, repetition.

TR: I said Jervais in the answer to a rather rude and aggressive question from Mr Merton over there.

NP: That's right, it wasn't in the round, was it.

TR: It wasn't part of my ramble.

NP: Yes another benefit of the doubt to you Tim, and 30 seconds on round robins starting now.

TR: I don't know if any of you have ever tried to run round a robin. But it doesn't take very long, unless you have the outside track, in which case you might as well zap round an albatross...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Is it two rounds?

NP: Yes, round...

TR: No, but round is on the card.

NP: Round is on the card.

CN: Oh is it?

NP: Yes, round robins. You can repeat the subject or words on the subject. So another point to you Tim, and 19 seconds, round robins starting now.

TR: Albatross... oh shhhhhh...


NP: I can't imagine what your challenge is.

CN: Ah repetition of albatross.

NP: Nineteen seconds for you Chris on round robins starting now.

CN: Apparently Cheltenham has a Football Club. I think they're probably not... terribly good...


CN: ... not amazingly bad...

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yeah there was a hesitation.

CN: Yeah.

NP: He didn't know whether to side with Tim who is sitting beside him or go with you Paul. Thirteen seconds, round robins, with you Paul starting now.

PM: Every Christmas we go round Robin's, because he throws by best parties you've ever come across. They are wonderful...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Throws by best parties?

PM: Yes.

NP: Yes, I don't think that's English as we really understand it.

PM: No, I was thinking of our World Service audience!

NP: The audience enjoyed your remark Paul so you get a bonus point for the humour you evoked there. But Chris had a correct challenge and he has seven seconds on round robins, Chris starting now.

CN: At Christmas time many people these days end very long dull letters enclosed in their Christmas, oh I said Christmas twice.


NP: I know. Paul challenged.

PM: Ah repetition of Christmas.

NP: Yeah Christmas yes.

CN: Yeah.

NP: Christmas, one second, round robins with you Paul starting now.

PM: Come on the Robins!


NP: So Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went, with other points in the round, he's moved forward, he's one ahead of Tim Rice, who is one ahead of Chris Neill, who is one ahead of Alun Cochrane in that order. And Chris will you take the next round, the subject is all day breakfast. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

CN: All day breakfast is a rather nasty idea, I think. It's nice...


NP: Alun challenged.

AC: Deviation, I think it's a great idea.

NP: I know, but he can have his opinion, you see Alun.

AC: Oh okay.

NP: All right. So it wasn't, it wasn't a challenge within the rules of Just A Minute really.

AC: I just got peckish.

NP: So Chris another point to you, all day breakfast, and how many seconds, 52 seconds starting now.

CN: Fifty-two seconds on the subject of all day breakfast, hurrah! I've got a lot to say! It's a meal that works very well until about 11 o'clock in the morning. After that you don't want it at all, but before then sausages, bacon, possibly kidneys, eggs scrambled...


NP: Alun challenged.

AC: Who has kidneys in an all day breakfast?

CN: Yes I'm saying you have them for breakfast before 11.

AC: I would say that that's deviation from the all day breakfast as we know it.

NP: I know the audience would love you to come in on it, but if you can have breakfast, you can have kidneys. I mean it would be a really super breakfast.


NP: What do you mean? I have kidneys for breakfast. When I go to a hotel, I always ask for kidneys.

PM: Do you ever get them?

NP: No. All right, Alun the audience feel you should get the benefit of the doubt, you tried three times to get in on this subject, so 39 seconds, all day breakfast...

CN: Sorry, what did I do wrong?

AC: You ordered kidneys

NP: Nothing much, it's something to do with kidneys and the audience...

CN: Look! I like kidneys for...


CN: You what?


CN: It's not about bloody transport cafes, is it!

NP: I think you should keep your private life to yourself, I really do.

CN: The subject's not transport cafes, it's all day breakfasts and I like kidneys any time of day I have breakfast. Thank you.

NP: Paul gets a point for his remarks which the audience loved, Alun gets a bonus point because he tried so hard and the audience want him to have it, but Chris, to be fair within the rules of Just A Minute, you can have kidneys for breakfast. So you have the subject and keep going on all day breakfast, there are 39 seconds starting now.

CN: I serve kidneys for breakfast all day and all night...


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: Repeat of kidneys.

CN: Oh kidneys, yes.

NP: It's an impossible game, 39 seconds for you Tim on all day breakfast starting now.

TR: And in this repulsive establishment I said to the waiter, I would like eggs, one hard...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Hesitation.

NP: There was a little hesitation there.

TR: I was moving from indirect to direct speech. I felt, in the absence of punctuation, I wanted to just, you know...

CN: Can I ask Tim, how many millions do you have in the bank? Is this point really important?

NP: So Chris you have another point, you have all day breakfast and there are 31 seconds starting now.

CN: When I don't cook that aforementioned piece of offal, I might do liver. I love it! All day breakfast, mmmm, delicious. Other offal, brain... I've said offal.


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: Repetition which he admitted.

CN: Yeah no.

NP: Of offal, right Tim you got in again.

TR: Bloody offal.

NP: Twenty-five seconds, all day breakfast starting now.

TR: I said to this roughneck git, who was posing as a server, in this transport...


NP: Paul you came in first.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yes indeed.

TR: Ohhhh!

NP: No wonder, 19 seconds, all day breakfast Paul starting now.

PM: The all day breakfast comes into your own when you're... comes into your own?


NP: Tim challenged.

PM: Comes into your own?

TR: Confusion, repetition, deviation, you name it. Mainly repetition.

NP: You can only have one, which one do you want?

TR: I'll have repetition.

NP: You can have it, 16 seconds Tim, all day breakfast starting now.

TR: At the Ritz you can get a fabulous all day breakfast, served by a gentleman in a bow tie...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: They stop serving at midday, at the Ritz.

TR: Not, not in your suite! Not in your private suite.

PM: Really?

TR: Yes, you can take it from me, Mr Merton.

NP: Oh you haven't won any friends with that, you...

PM: No, to be fair, Tim did work there as a cleaner! He knows, he does know, he's been in the kitchen, he knows.

NP: I'm sure that in the Ritz, that if you wanted breakfast all day, they would serve it to you. Eleven seconds Tim, all day breakfast starting now.

TR: There again at the Savoy, so I've been told by a friend, because I haven't actually been there myself and certainly would never stay the night somewhere, when I can just go to my own bed...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Was there a slight hesitation then?

TR: Yes there was, I admit it, I was crumbling.

NP: Well you were deviating on to the Savoy and everything, and you hadn't got to the breakfast. Paul you've got in with two seconds on all day breakfast starting now.

PM: Bacon, black pudding, scrambled eggs, chips if you must...


NP: So Paul speaking as the whistle went, has moved forward, he's two ahead of Tim Rice who is one ahead of Chris Neill, who is three or four ahead of Alun Cochrane in that order. And Paul we'd like you to take the next round. The subject now is the director's cut. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

PM: I once made a film and the director was half cut. It was terrible, nothing really matched at all. Everything was out of focus, blurry images. But of course the director's cut refers to something you get now when you buy films on DV, well you know the format...


NP: Oh there's an ace player of the game! Tim you were hoisted...

TR: Just testing my bell!

NP: Oh right, well done Tim, but well played Paul, 48 seconds still with you on the director's cut starting now.

PM: When I listen to these audio commentaries that you buy now, they are fascinating. You hear the director say well, the show I was after here never quite worked. But there is one film that stars Michael Caine when he goes back to Newcastle to avenge the death of his brother, Get Carter. And the director's... comments...


NP: Alun challenged.

AC: Oh it was a mistake, I thought...

NP: Well it was a hesitation actually.

AC: Oh? Okay. That's exactly what I was getting you for. Gotcha!

NP: So well, so well listened Alun and you got in with a sharp challenge, 30 seconds for you on the director's cut starting now.

AC: The director's cut of Just A Minute is a real listen. You should hear it, it's wonderful. There's...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Deviation, it's really not.

NP: What's your challenge within the rules of Just A Minute?

CN: Deviation, it's not a wonderful listen.

PM: But isn't the director's cut the show that goes out?

NP: I don't know what we're talking about.

PM: All day breakfasts!

NP: You've still go the subject, you've got the director's cut, 24 seconds starting now.

AC: The director's cut of kidneys is the best bit of meat in any all day breakfast. I love having food with...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Sorry, there isn't a director's cut of kidneys at an all day breakfast. That doesn't make any sense.

AC: Who's to say there's not?

PM: There was an independent film in the 60s called Kidneys, it was a massive hit!

NP: I mean the director could be having...

CN: Was there a series of films called The All Day Breakfast.

PM: There was, yeah.

NP: The director could be having an all day breakfast and he's got his kidneys.

CN: Is that what you meant Alun?

AC: That's what I was getting to, before I was so rudely interrupted!

NP: So you have the benefit of the doubt Alun and you have 18 seconds on the director's cut starting now.

AC: The director's cut is a way of selling a film which has already been in the cinema. I have seen the director's cut of Blade Runner which I do not understand. I have seen the...


AC: Ahhhhh!

NP: Yes you got in first Chris, yes.

CN: Repetition of I have seen.

NP: I have seen, yes, right, so Chris you've got in this time with a correct challenge and six seconds on the director's cut starting now.

CN: The director's cut of Just A Minute really isn't fun. What you catch is Clement Freud backstage, cracking jokes...


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: Repetition of Just A Minute.

NP: Why?

CN: That's what Alun said, I didn't say it.

TR: Sorry, I drifted off!

NP: No, Alun said Just A Minute, all right. You've still got the subject Chris, only one second to go, the director's cut starting now.

CN: It's always the best bits that...


NP: So Chris Neill was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point and others in the round. He's moved forward, he's equal with Paul Merton in the lead. And they're closely followed by Tim Rice and then Alun Cochrane. And Chris now it's your turn to begin, the subject is the last laugh. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

CN: The last laugh of the dying hyena is one of the most beautiful sounds in nature. He gathers his family around him to witness the last laugh... he... will...


CN: ...make...

NP: Paul.

PM: Is there a doctor in the house? Hesitation.

NP: Oh yes hesitation, almost a full stop. Are you all right Chris?

CN: Yeah I thought I was doing that quite upbeat.

NP: If that's upbeat I don't know what the death is. Right, 49 seconds with you Paul on the last laugh starting now.

PM: The Last Laugh is a film that was made in Germany in 1927, part of the silent era. And it starred...


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: No it wasn't called The Last Laugh.

NP: What was it called?

TR: Oh something like De Laster, De Laster Chucklehauden or something!

NP: And when the film came over here, it came over here as The Last Laugh. So benefit of the doubt to you Paul, and you have another point of course, 44 seconds, the last laugh starting now.

PM: It became quite famous because it didn't use any title cards at all. Everything was expressed in mime, emotion, or just the look in somebody's face. And Emil Jannings who I've mentioned twice now, so it's typically repetition...


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: Repetition of that distinguished chap.

PM: Yeah.

TR: Emil something.

NP: Emil Jannings, right, 34 seconds Tim, the last laugh starting now.

TR: The last laugh is very important. If you have the first laugh, you may well not end up in a superior position. What you need to do is to be the man or woman or child or dog that...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Quite a lot of ors. Or man or woman.

TR: You're quite right, well spotted.

NP: We let one or go but too many ors...

CN: Yeah.

NP: We don't want too many ors in this show.

CN: I'd let one go Tim, but I can't, it'd just be, I'd be a fool to myself and to this audience, I'd be letting them down.

NP: Chris, the last laugh is with you, 23 seconds starting now.

CN: I haven't seen the film Paul was talking about, called The Last Laugh, in Germany...


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: Repetition of the.

NP: Oh no no no! Oh Tim come on!

CN: The subject is the last laugh and you can say the words on the card!

NP: Indeed you can, 20 seconds still for you Chris on the last laugh starting now.

CN: The last laugh is an important one to get. You're absolutely right, I'm not going to get, I'm never going to get, because I can't...


PM: Hesitation.

NP: I think so yes, definitely, right. Paul we're back with you and you have 14 seconds, the last laugh starting now.

PM: In a situation where you're compering perhaps in a gig, it's important that you're seen as the compere to be able to introduce the acts, but also to be able to be, to be able, three ables...


NP: Tim.

TR: Um, able, repetition.

NP: Too much ables, yes. Right and Tim you got in with four seconds on the last laugh starting now.

TR: Come with me now to the plains of Africa where hyenas...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: I've got plans! I just can't go to the plains of Africa! I need more warning than that! I thought this gig was in Cheltenham, not the plains of Africa.

NP: Oh yes...

PM: What's my challenge? Spontaneous travel arrangements!

NP: Paul we love the interruption, you get a bonus point for that. But Tim was interrupted incorrectly so he gets another point and the last laugh is with you Tim starting now.

TR: When these animals of the jungle cackle it's a ghastly...


NP: So at the end of that round Tim Rice was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, Chris is one behind, Paul is in the lead, Alun's catching them up. And it's Alun's turn to begin. The subject is, and it's a good one for you Alun, down the back of my sofa. I'm sure you have some interesting information to impart on that subject, 60 seconds starting now.

AC: Down the back of my sofa is an enormous magnet that draws all the household clutter that ever exists. In the back of my sofa there is a pair of socks, ah, a magnet...


NP: Yes...

AC: It's hard this game, innit!

NP: It is hard. And the idea of doing lists is actually tougher than people think.

AC: Yeah.

NP: Because you do er often in between. So Paul got in on the er, 48 seconds, down the back of my sofa, Paul starting now.

PM: Down the back of my sofa are many extraordinary things. I've got an original Nicholas Parsons from the 19th century. And if you buff it up, it looks as good as gold. I think that's one of the metals that were in it...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Deviation, it would be from the 18th!

PM: Mine is a worthless reproduction!

NP: And the audience clapped when he said that! And I came out at the beginning of the show and said how lovely you all were. How beautiful, how what a joy it is to be back in Cheltenham.

PM: They're a keen judge of human nature!

NP: So Chris, I'll show you how generous I am. They enjoyed your interruption...

CN: Thank you.

NP: ... and your rudeness to the chairman, you get a bonus point for it...

CN: You come here.

NP: Oh...


NP: The audience...

CN: I've never kissed a man before! Certainly not one as old as that!

AC: Well surely that's deviation, isn't it.

NP: Well Chris Neill gets a point for his rudeness to the chairman, because they enjoyed it, Alun gets a point because they enjoyed his challenge then...

CN: Do I not get one for kissing you?

NP: I can't give you too many darling!

CN: No, all I can see is Mrs Parsons is out there and she is thinking, oh thank God, a night off!

PM: That's her laughing now!

NP: Oh dear! She's hiding under the seat actually. Alun gets one because they enjoyed his comment, but Paul was the one who was speaking and interrupted so you keep the subject Paul and you have 37 seconds starting now.

PM: I took it to The Antiques Roadshow and they examined it for me, and they said, "do you know what this is worth?" And they said "puck all!" And that's really really dispiriting because I decided...


NP: Alun challenged.

AC: Two reallys, really really.

PM: Yes it was yeah.

NP: Really really really, so well listened Alun, you're getting the idea of the game now, right.

CN: Give him another point for patronisation.

NP: So Alun you have 30 seconds on down the back of my sofa starting now.

AC: Down the back of my sofa is a gold doubloon in the hand of a dead pirate. I have no idea how that got there but it...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: It's probably the magnet, drew it in!

AC: That's probably what it is.

PM: That's how it got there.

NP: So Paul a point to you because they enjoyed what you said, but Alun was interrupted so he gets a point and he keeps down the back of my sofa, 24 seconds starting now.

AC: I got the time machine next week, that is down the back of my sofa. I really enjoy travelling around, I...


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: Hesitation.

NP: It was a hesitation yes. Down the back of my sofa, Tim is with you, with 16 seconds available starting now.

TR: My Uncle Arthur went missing for several months in June, July and August 1956. And a search party was sent out all round our enormous estate. In the end as we sat back after an unsuccessful day's searching, we wondered where. There was a movement underneath the sofa and it was Uncle Arthur...


NP: So Tim Rice kept going until the whistle went. And I have to tell the listeners, he did keep going under incredible provocation. Because Chris Neill, sitting beside him, was trying to stare him out and disturb him. But he's now equal in second place with Chris Neill, they're two points behind our leader Paul Merton. And catching them up fast is Alun Cochrane. Paul it's your turn to begin, the subject is January sale. It's upon us now so talk about if you can starting now.

PM: Well the January sales traditionally come after December. I've always found that a good way of going about my business. I've never been one of those people who has been able to think further and think I could get lost of Christmas presents when they're very cheap in the January sales, and then hand them out in an effort of largesse...


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: I think he just sort of gradually, slipped into hesitation and confusion.

NP: I don't think he hesitated, he kept going, he hardly drew breath. I mean...

TR: Well there was a long word which sounded to me like he was...

NP: No no, benefit of the doubt to Paul, he didn't hesitate, 46 seconds, January sale Paul starting now.

PM: Some people cue up outside Harrods...


NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Repetition of people.

NP: Yes. There were other people before. So Chris you've got 44 seconds, January sale starting now.

CN: The January sale used to be quite an exciting event that only took place in January. Now they run all year long.


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: He ground to a halt.

NP: He did, he made his point.

CN: Yeah I just wanted to make a statement and that was it.

NP: That's it, he made his point, waited for the laugh and it didn't come. So he paused.


CN: It was coming over the hill.

PM: That was it! That was the laugh!

NP: Was it?

PM: It sounded like your laugh Nicholas, but it was actually Chris's from 30 seconds before.

NP: Oh! So I only get them second-hand, do I? Right.

PM: You haven't got your own laugh since 1968!

NP: Oh!

PM: No that's not true, that's not true.

NP: Paul...

PM: That's not true.

NP: You're worse than usual this time, I don't know.

PM: No that's not true.

NP: Tim a correct challenge, January sale with you, how many left, seconds, 38 seconds starting now.

TR: It's all very well rushing to the January sales, but the trouble is everybody else in every town in every...


NP: Alun challenged.

AC: There was quite a few everys.

NP: There were indeed Alun.

TR: Well two everys.

NP: So you got in with 30 seconds on January sale starting now.

AC: In the January sale I like to buy bargains because I was brought up by my Mum who said "don't get anything unless it's heavily discounted. We're poor, we're on free school meals. Get anything that you want but make sure it's reduced..."


NP: Tim challenged.

TR: Two anythings.

NP: There were two anythings I'm afraid yes so 18 seconds, January sale starting, with you Tim starting now.

TR: When I was a child, we were so stinking rich, my mother said "for goodness sake, don't buy anything in January because you'll just get all the tat they've left and couldn't get rid of in December. It's crap, it's junk, don't go near it! It's very important that you buy in June, July, August, September, October or November when prices are..."


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Did your mother really say it's crap!

TR: Yes! It warped my childhood!

PM: So are you prepared for the British public to think that your mother used words like crap to gain a point in this game?

TR: Well it's a tough call Paul, but yes!

NP: I believe that his mother could have said crap. I don't know so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she did slip up, and she had a couple of drinks or something. Um benefit of the doubt Tim, and one second starting now.

TR: As for my Dad, what...


NP: Right so Tim Rice was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. He's crept up on our leader Paul Merton, he's just two ahead of Chris Neill who is a few ahead of Alun Cochrane. They're in that order as we go into the final round. Oh Chris something for you to go on, stuff and nonsense. So talk about stuff and nonsense, 60 seconds starting now.

CN: Stuff And Nonsense is Cheltenham's premier gay night-spot. It opens at 11 AM for an all day breakfast, and doesn't close until dawn. The fun to be had there, it's astonishing! There are transvestites, the like of which...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yeah there was a hesitation yes. So he said transvestite and hesitated. And 46 seconds for you on stuff and nonsense Paul starting now.

PM: Well stuff and nonsense is by many ways the ingredients of comedy if you look at it really. Stuff is stuff that you do. Nonsense is nonsense where you take some situation and perhaps find some surreal angle on it, or exaggerate for comic effect. If you look at the history of the comedy writing, you can see that something like, for example, Charlie Chaplin, in the early 1920s. His films were full of stuff and nonsense but people were flocking to go and see them. He was one of the most popular people in the entire world. It seems impossible to think of it now that even in China, India, Nairobi, everywhere, he was a universally known figure. Stuff and nonsense was also a nickname that Laurel and Hardy were given in Norway because their own names which I just mentioned before, which I won't say again now, didn't translate that well into the local language. So they were called Stuff and Nonsense, and people of course would recognise them in the twin bowler hats...


NP: So Paul Merton, our very experienced player of the game, showed how to play this game with great style and great panache and kept going for many seconds, until the whistle went. Gained that extra point for doing so and increased his lead. So let me give you the final score. Alun Cochrane triumphed in fourth place. One of the most triumphant fourth places I've ever seen, because a lot of points were scored in this particular show. And Tim Rice and Chris Neill both finished equal together in second place. So Alun must have been in third place, I've just worked that one out. So well done Alun!

AC: I knew I'd done better!

NP: Out in the lead, a few points ahead of them all was Paul Merton so we say Paul this week you are our winner! It only remains to say thank you to our four intrepid players of this game, Paul Merton, Tim Rice, Alun Cochrane and Chris Neill. I thank Charlotte Davies, who has helped me keep the score, blown her whistle with great style. We are indebted to Ian Messiter who created this lovely game. We thank our producer Tilusha Ghelani. And we are deeply indebted to this lovely audience here at the Everyman Theatre in Cheltenham who have cheered us on our way magnificently. I think they've enjoyed it, we have enjoyed it. From the audience, from me Nicholas Parsons and the team, good-bye, tune in again the next time we play Just A Minute! Yes!