NOTE: Barry Took's last appearance although clips of him are heard in the 40th anniversary special in 2007, Tim Brooke-Taylor's last appearance.


ANNOUNCER: We present Kenneth Williams, Peter Jones, Barry Took and Tim Brooke-Taylor in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away here to tell you about it is our chairman Nicholas Parsons.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you very much, hello and welcome once again to Just A Minute. And once again I'm going to ask our four panellists to try and speak if they can on the subject that I give them without hesitation, repetition or deviating. And we will begin the show the week with Peter Jones and Peter, the subject, an ideal one for you, striving for perfection. Will you tell us something about that in the game starting now.

PETER JONES: Well that's something that I've been doing most of my life. But I must confess I have never achieved it. I know you're all going to contradict me but...


NP: And Tim Brooke-Taylor challenged.

TIM BROOKE-TAYLOR: No, we're not!


NP: A bonus point to Tim Brooke-Taylor, but as Peter wasn't properly deviating from the subject on the card, he continues with 50 seconds on striving for perfection starting now.

PJ: I think it's something everybody should do, instead of sitting back, like many actors do, on a plateau of mediocrity. Instead of striving every day, with each performance to improve it, and hone it, polish it, to a degree of perfection, that the like of which has never been seen...


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor challenged.

TBT: I hate to interrupt, because it sounded so beautiful, but there was a lot of hesitation there.

NP: There was, well when the hesitation started, the beauty seemed to pall a little, I thought. So Tim you have a correct challenge so you get a point for that and you have 29 seconds to take over the subject, striving for perfection starting now.

TBT: Sadly we will never reach perfection in one lifetime. It takes several to reach this state of perfection. So I would settle for the very good. I would like to be in this particular state in so many different fields of endeavour, as an actor, as a writer, as a mountaineer, or even as a television...


NP: And Barry, and Barry Took has challenged.

BARRY TOOK: Ah hesitation.

NP: (laughs) Yes!

TBT: I've, I've got to accept that...

NP: It definitely was...

TBT: I absolutely did. Very good. It was very good.

NP: What you all seemed to miss was there were five repetitions of as. Which I think is going too far on a small word even. Twelve seconds Barry, on striving for perfection starting now.

BT: I strive for perfection every morning. I simply look into the mirror and say "it's all happening, but not here!" My days of striving to perfection are over...


NP: When Ian Messiter blows his whistle, that tells us 60 seconds is up.

TBT: Ha! Ha! Ha!

BT: I beg your pardon?

NP: Barry was speaking as the whistle went so he gains an extra point for doing so, and he has the lead at the end of that round, one ahead of Tim Brooke-Taylor and Peter Jones and Kenneth Williams begins the next round. Kenneth, the subject is fools. Will you tell us something about fools in the game starting now.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: Out of the mouths of babes and fools. And fools rush in where angels fear to tread. And few are aware of what comes before. I think of fools...


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor's challenged.

TBT: Talking a load of rubbish! Out of the mouths of babes and fools?

NP: I know but I mean does it really matter? Has he ever been known to talk anything else?

TBT: He never, sorry, if it doesn't matter, I quite agree. I was enjoying it too. But it was rubbish!

KW: The line that comes before is "fly to altars, there they'll talk you dead, fools rush in where angels fear to tread". Few people know what comes before, most only know the second half of it, you see. That's the point I was trying to make, and if you had had a reasonable modicum of intelligence you would have caught that point. But alas, alas, you see...

NP: Kenneth...

KW: ... I'm surrounded by all these nits!

TBT: We all know that...

KW: I'm surrounded by illiterate nits!

NP: Kenneth, Kenneth, in a minute I'll take it away from you! At the moment I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt.

KW: Oh thank you.

NP: You keep the subject, there are 45 seconds on fools starting now.

KW: Fools in Shakespeare are variously named. One that comes to mind is Vesty who cries out "when and I was but a little tiny boy with hey-ho, the wind and the rain, foolish thing, was but a toy". And what a responsive chord that strikes in all our breasts, does it not. I can see you sir, he's gone quite white, yes! Back to your own childhood! And how these wonderful poetic thoughts that possess us and cast our mind back to an era which was nothing to do with mechanics, nothing to do with industry...


NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition, in every sense of the word, of nothing!

NP: Yes!


KW: Do I detect a note of asperity of there?


KW: Is there acrimony there? I'll come over there and, and give you one! I will!


NP: Has there ever been anything...

KW: You say another word and I'll give you a bunch of fives!

TBT: I'll take your coat off!

NP: Ah Peter Jones... Peter you had a correct challenge and you have nine seconds to take over the subject of fools starting now.

PJ: There always has to be at least one in every community, every company of people where all...


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor challenged.

TBT: It seems a silly one but every.

NP: Yes, every is not a silly one, no.

TBT: Oh.

NP: That is not a little tiny word. Tim you got in with three seconds to go, fools starting now.

TBT: My first dramatic performance was as Vesty and I didn't understand that...


NP: So Tim Brooke-Taylor speaking as the whistle went then, gained the extra point and he has the lead at the end of that round. Barry Took will you begin the next round, the subject is TV frights.

BT: I get frightened every time I appear on television because my memory went some years ago. I find it a great difficulty to actually remember things that come so naturally to brilliant artistes like Peter Jones, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Kenneth Williams, not to mention Nicholas Parsons who gets almost every name right! It's quite extraordinary this amazing gift, this perfect sense of performance, timing, flourish, waving of the hands in the appropriate way. "Consider the lilies," they cry, don't they?

KW: Mmmmm!

BT: Many is the day we have...


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor challenged you.

TBT: Hesitation.

NP: Yes I know, isn't that rotten! It was a beautiful dramatic pause but it was hesitation.

BT: And I was making that up as I went along!

TBT: I didn't know you, I wasn't sure whether he'd started or not too, did he have a...

NP: Well I didn't actually say "now" but he went with such a magnificent flow I couldn't interrupt him and pull him back for the now. So there are 27 seconds for TV frights with you Tim starting now.

TBT: My worst TV fright was a filming where I had to appear to be dragged along the ground by a little kitten. Now this was done by means of a quick reaction from a camera going click click click very slowly as I moved in...


NP: And Barry Took has challenged.

TBT: Click click click is repetition, I would say, I have to say that.

NP: Yes! You were very quick...

BT: Awfully good of you Tim to admit...

TBT: Good, good...

NP: He couldn't very well argue...

PJ: I wanted to hear what happened, I mean, I'd actually...

BT: Well I'll go er and then he'll get it back and then you'll hear.

NP: No, he can tell us before he says er. What happened Tim?

TBT: No, no, I might...

NP: You don't have to worry about the rules now. What actually happened after that?

TBT: I might get it back again.

KW: He might be the one that gets it back.

NP: All right then, all right, he might never get it back. So there are 14 seconds with Barry on TV frights starting now.

BT: TV frights...


NP: Tim?

TBT: I just want to get it back!


TBT: That was hesitation, I'd say!

NP: It wasn't hesitation, but well tried. Give him a bonus point, he's a good player and ah Barry keeps the subject, 13 seconds starting now.

BT: Are you ready, Tim, as I talk about TV frights? I'm about to go errrrrrrrrrr.


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor challenged.

TBT: Hesitation of a gentlemanly nature!

NP: He actually said he was going to go er, and went er, so really, he didn't hesitate. But all right, we give it to you Tim because that's what they all want. Nine seconds, TV frights starting now.

TBT: Inch by inch, I went forward, there was...


NP: Peter Jones.


NP: Ah...

TBT: I think I'm the most stupid man in the entire world!

NP: Deviation of feet was it, um...

TBT: It's just so exciting, this story! I just...

NP: Peter Jones you have it for seven seconds, TV frights starting now.

PJ: Well I suppose...


NP: Tim Brooke- Taylor challenged.

TBT: I still want to tell you so I'm...

NP: Peter Jones has another point, there are six and a half seconds, TV frights starting now.

PJ: The very worst things that can happen to anybody have already happened. So I know that there is nothing that could be more terrifying in store for me...


NP: Peter Jones got the extra point, he's now in second place behind Tim Brooke-Taylor. Do you want to tell us the rest of the story, Tim, or are you going to keep us in suspense?

TBT: It might come in later!

NP: Right...

TBT: If you bring up a subject that has something to do with TV frights!

NP: I'll do my best but they were written out before the game started actually.

TBT: Giant kittens would do!


NP: (laughing) Giant kittens!

TBT: If you're being general in your titles. (laughs)

NP: I think he's being very clever actually, he's keeping the audience and the viewers and listeners in a state of anticipation...

TBT: Not many viewers actually!

NP: Oh yes! Oh yes definitely! Because once Just A Minute is on, everybody switches their television off.


NP: There are 60 seconds for mail order, Tim, starting now.

TBT: My mail order business takes place with an Automobile Association. With a different type of mail order is where you send away for a male. Now this can come in several different sizes. It can come in large, medium, and small. I'm talking of course about sweaters. These are for men of large camp... (breaks down in laughter)


NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: Hesitation, he fell about laughing, he's meant to carry on talking.

NP: I know, there's the large calibre men and he corpsed! Um...

PJ: He's banging the chair now, having given up knocking the table!

NP: Kenneth we come to you at this moment and there are 36 seconds on er mail order starting now.

KW: The male order of precedence has always determined the genealogical outcome of so many of the great families of England that it's almost bewildering when you look at the number of names come down to us historically through posterity. And there we see the son scion eldest member always given proper precedence. I'm right behind it because I think the eldest of the male line should take absolute precedence...


NP: So Kenneth Williams got another point for the challenge and another point for speaking as the whistle went and is still in fourth place! But he is only one behind Barry Took who is one behind Peter Jones, and Tim Brooke-Taylor is still in the lead. Kenneth Williams, your turn to begin, the subject, the Victoria and Albert Museum. Will you tell us something about it in the game starting now.

KW: A joyous day was spent by myself in the V and A. I was delighted to see that astonishing reproduction of the Michelangelo Appelonian David. In all its noble proportions, beautifully lit I might add, very subtle lighting they've got in that place. Beautiful refinery, must have been. I stood, gazing in wonder, my mouth literally agape. For I had always imagined one would have to go, not to the Victoria and Albert, but to Venice itself, to see this wondrous piece of culture...


NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: I thought it was in Florence.

KW: You are a great fool! They've got another one there! They've got another one in Venice, you great fool! Haven't you ever seen it?

NP: They have another one in Venice...

KW: There's reproductions of it all over Italy!

NP: I know! But the one you were referring to, the original, was in Florence. So Peter you have a correct challenge and you have 19 seconds and I'm not going to be bluffed out of these things. You do very well, Kenneth!

KW: Oh yeah ahhhh, moaning and maundering on! Look at him!

NP: Peter, 19 seconds, the Victoria and Albert Museum starting now.

PJ: It's a wonderful place for an assignation. While you are awaiting the person...


NP: Kenneth Williams has...

KW: This is a family show! We don't want a load of filth! About meetings, assignations and filth going on!

NP: It might...

KW: I don't want to hear this, these people have come, I've, I've come all the way from Great Portland Street! I haven't come here for this kind of filth! Assignations going on! Do you want to hear this kind of rubbish?

NP: No I don't.

KW: Certainly not! Disgusting!

BT: Especially when you came from Great Portland Street.

KW: Yes! It's a very respectable place!

NP: If that's the way your mind runs, that every assignation should be filthy...

KW: (shouting) What is a museum? A museum is a receiver of great relics of the past! And he's talking about assignations!

NP: It could be beautiful...

KW: (shouting) That's deviation! Deviation of the worst kind!

NP: It could be a beautiful and delicate assignation, and I'm sure it was in Peter Jones's case! Do you want to go somewhere Barry?


NP: I must tell listeners he has his hand up at this present moment. We haven't got much longer to go, the show will soon be over. Can you wait?

BT: I've just gone deaf!

NP: That is because he sits next to Kenneth Williams for those of you who can't see...

TBT: (laughs) Your mother said you always would, didn't she? Sorry.

NP: Back to the game, there are 14 seconds, the Victoria and Albert Museum starting now.

PJ: Your date, Kenneth, might be some... thing from the past...


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor has challenged.

TBT: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, you see when you get upset by Kenneth Williams like that...

PJ: Yes I know!

NP: ... you get into a state and you cannot continue! Right, Tim you had a correct challenge, there are 11 seconds, the Victoria and Albert Museum starting now.

TBT: The largest and possibly the greatest museum in Europe was how it was described today. A friend of mine produces diaries for the, er Victoria and...


NP: And Barry Took has challenged.

BT: Ah hesita... tion.

NP: Hesitation is right.

TBT: He couldn't even say it! He can't well...

NP: I know he can't say it!

TBT: All right, fair enough.

NP: He still has a correct challenge. You have two seconds, very cleverly Barry, with the Victoria and Albert Museum starting now.

BT: I love the Victoria and Albert Museum because it has...


NP: So the score once again, Barry Took an extra point for speaking as the whistle went. He's now equal with Peter Jones in second place, one behind Tim Brooke-Taylor and Kenneth Williams trails behind them. Peter Jones, your turn to begin, the subject is parking, 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: Well it's what all the motorists in London seem to be trying to do. I think it would be great...


NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: Deviation, it's a ludicrous statement. If all the motorists in London did, the place would be quite impossible. It's ludicrous, it's a daft situation! I mean it just can't happen, it's devious!

NP: No, they're not all...

KW: (shouting) Don't argue with me! I've just said it can't happen! I'm not going to sit here all night having an argument! It's ridiculous!

NP: Kenneth...

KW: (shouting) Why did you invite me here at all? Why did you invite me here? That's what I want to know! Why?

NP: Kenneth I...

BT: They ought to book Van Gogh to sit next to you!

NP: Kenneth, I was agreeing with you!

KW: Oh!

NP: You don't listen!

KW: I'm sorry.

NP: You, as somebody I've heard say to me before now, "you great nit!"

KW: I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon.

NP: Listen, you are correct. You have the subject.

KW: Ah.

NP: And there are 54 seconds on parking starting now.

KW: It's something we have to find room for, otherwise of course we shall give us the scene. Now one of the best ways is to have the multi-storeyed car park, because you can then get in and out with ease and not affect any of the pedestrians. I feel we don't give enough attention to those who are using their own two feet to get around. And how much better the world would be if we had a little more thought for those dear people...


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor's challenged.

TBT: Deviation.

NP: Yes yes, you're now on to people on two feet and not parking.

KW: Well ah you can park two feet, you know.

NP: Yes but you hadn't established that. A very quick reply but you hadn't established that in the game...

PJ: It sounded like prejudice against one-legged people! Who I would have thought deserved more consideration, rather than less!

NP: Mmmm! Tim I still agree with your challenge and you have the subject of parking, 25 seconds left starting now.

TBT: Parking is a thing that suffers greatly from people who are anxious to keep London free of traffic. Now I think if the way to go about it must be to have fines much larger than they are at present. It is worth parking on a yellow line because you know that you will not be given a great big penalty. It must be increased to a great amount so people don't come into London and think they can get away with it...


NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of people.

NP: Yes. And great, yes.

TBT: Excellent.

NP: Peter you got in with four seconds to go...

TBT: Oh!

NP: .... no, three seconds to go on parking...

TBT: Oh!

NP: ... starting now.

TBT: Make it two!

PJ: Make London into a vast pedestrian precinct, that's the answer...


NP: Barry came in just before the whistle.

BT: I can't see the connection between a pedestrian precinct and the act of parking.

PJ: Yes because then the cars won't be allowed in here, and they'll have to park outside.

BT: Good idea, Peter! I withdraw my challenge!

NP: Right, so Peter...


NP: Tim what did you want to say?

TBT: I think the challenge is perfectly good. We got off pedestrians earlier on, I think that's...

NP: But he'd only been going for two and a half seconds. Kenneth had been going on pedestrians for about 10 minutes. The er, sorry, 10 seconds. The, Peter...

KW: Out of his own mouth! Out of his own mouth, he says it! What a chairman!

NP: Well it sounded like 10 minutes, sitting up here, the way he was going on!

TBT: There was an extra two and a half seconds on top of what Kenneth had been saying.

NP: Peter Jones you have the subject still with half a second, parking starting now.


NP: Well at the end of that round, Peter Jones gets an extra point as the whistle goes, and he's now one ahead of Tim Brooke-Taylor. Barry Cryer is just behind and...

BT: No, he isn't!


KW: Why do you keep calling him Barry Cryer? Everyone knows it's Barry Took! I mean it's terrible isn't it. How do you feel...

NP: Well Barry Cryer's been on the show so often and Barry Took has been on the show, and it's very difficult when you're trying to control all you four impossible fellows...

KW: Oh don't keep hanging it out! Get on with it! For goodness sake, get on with it! Get on with it!

NP: I hope you've all Took-en that to heart, and Barry Took begins the next round. Barry the subject is staying up all night, 60 seconds starting now.

BT: I like up staying up all night to read letters like the one I have in my hand. It comes from Japan and I will read it to you in its entirety. It says "Dear Sir, I am reading with an English teacher, The Bona Book of Julian And Sandy. Mainly for the purposes of picking up slangs and very colloquial expressions. The book was, as you'd know, highly praised in the..."


NP: Tim Brooke-Tyler has challenged.

TBT: Tim Brooke...? We'll get Tim Brooke-Cryer in a minute! It was hesitation, I want to hear the rest of it so can I have a point and let him go on please.

NP: No, you can't, you'll take over the subject. You were a correct challenge and he can give it to us if he gets back again as you tried to do with your subject, a time ago. Thirty, um, er, 29 seconds, 39 seconds yes. I have to read backwards, they can't afford a watch that goes backwards here and I have to subtract...

KW: Can't afford a chairman either!

NP: Well that goes without saying! So Tim you have the subject, staying up all night, 39 seconds starting now.

TBT: Er!


NP: Um Barry Took has come back. Barry what was your challenge?

BT: Disgusting hesitation there I thought.

NP: No...

BT: But of a gentlemanly kind!

NP: Yes obviously. Barry you have the subject back and there are 37 seconds, staying up all night starting now.

BT: Well I enjoy staying up all night, reading letters like this one from Ichigoro Yuchida who comes from Tokyo who says "The Bona Book Of Julian And Sandy was as you know..."


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor challenged.

TBT: Repetition.

NP: Yes he's repeated all that from before the last challenges.

BT: I'm just re-establishing it Tim!

TBT: Oh I'm sorry.

NP: You can't re-establish without repeating yourself unless you use different words. I'm sorry, Barry Took. So there are 28 seconds for Tim Brooke-Taylor to take over staying up all night starting now.

TBT: Er!


NP: Barry Took has challenged.

BT: Thank you very much Tim, hesitation.

NP: Right, Barry Took you have the subject and Barry Took you have 27 seconds on the subject of staying up all night, Barry Took you begin now.

BT: I stay up all night reading "my English teacher is well trained in the job, and quite able in every way as a language teacher. Yet he still has some difficulty handling the queer and funny languages, brimming over the pages. I should be more than happy if you would kindly answer the following questions and let me know what they mean in plainer language. One, naff is it, page 25. Two, he's got the polari off hasn’t he. Three, but did you manage to drag yourself up on deck, page 27. I am sorry but I can't see what Mister Horne meant. Sincerely yours, Ichigoro Yuchida..."


NP: All I can say is...

BT: If you ever get a Japanese repeat, you'll be in...

NP: ... that is...

KW: That is a genuine letter from Japan, you know! That is genuine.

NP: I know.

KW: That is genuine. And what he's talking about is, drag yourself up, you know what that was about? That was about Jule and Sand when they fell in the water, and they said "we were swept overboard, Mister Horne, swept overboard, Mister Horne!" And he said "did you manage to drag yourself up on deck?" And they said "no, we wore casuals!"


KW: That was it! That was what it was going to be about...

NP: All I can say is...

KW: Yes did you manage to drag yourself up on deck...

NP: It was without doubt the most devious, repetitious...

KW: ... no, we said, "no, we didn't drag ourselves up..."

NP: ... way of keeping going in Just A Minute...

KW: ... we wore casuals! (laughs) Ever so funny! Yes!

NP: I just said it was still, however interesting, the most devious and repetitious way of keeping going in Just A Minute. But you all wanted him to do it and so Barry Took at the end of that round is in second place with Peter Jones, one behind our leader Tim Brooke-Taylor. And the next person to begin is Tim Brooke-Taylor, the subject, a piece of cake. Would you tell us something about that in the game Tim starting now.

TBT: Billy Bunter is my favourite fictional character. He would say things like "I never touched your cake in anyway, I only touched one piece". He would also...


NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of touched.

NP: Right Peter, there are 51 seconds, a piece of cake starting now.

PJ: What can be more nourishing and pleasant and comforting than a slice of fruit cake, full of sultanas and raisins, almonds and currants, made with real eggs, a little wholemeal flour, real butter...


BT: Real.

NP: Barry...

BT: Repetition of the word real.

NP: Yes, well done Barry Took...

TBT: Gosh, I'm hungry now!

NP: You have 35 seconds ...

TBT: Really hungry.

NP: ... on a piece of cake starting now.

BT: I would like to tell the world that today celebrates the 100th birthday of Mister Yucharji Ubobo who invented the triangular crumpet...


NP: Ah Peter Jones has...

KW: I never knew that! I never knew that!

NP: Peter Jones...

BT: Och yes!

KW: There's a triangular crumpet?

NP: I don't think Mister Yucharju Ubobo knew it either! Peter what was your challenge?

PJ: Repetition of bo!


NP: A bonus point for a good challenge to Peter Jones, but we leave the subject with Barry Took, as he keeps going on his flights of fancy in a piece of cake, starting now.

BT: A piece of cake is indeed it was for this tiny man who from little more er than a tiny shack in the middle of nowhere...


NP: Tim Brooke-Taylor has challenged.

TBT: Hesitation.

NP: Yes! I agree Tim, ah, may I tell you that it's very close. Tim, Peter and Barry are almost equal as we continue. Tim is one behind and er the other two are equal in the lead and we've reached the last round. The subject, a piece of cake, there are 18 seconds left starting now.

TBT: I want the piece with the smartie on top, was my perennial cry. I never got it. I always got the one that had it. Now those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, I will tell you. This was a birthday in... 19...


NP: Barry Took has challenged.

BT: You hesitated on the year.

NP: Yes I'm afraid you did Tim, four seconds...


NP: ... for Barry Took to try and take the game with a piece of cake starting now.

BT: The piece of cake to which I was referring earlier was a wonderful evocation of the culinary art...


NP: What a riotous and hilarious contest! No? All right! We've reached the end of the show. Kenneth Williams giving his usual good value, alas only finished in fourth place. Ah it was very even between the other three. Tim Brooke-Taylor and Peter Jones were equal and where better to be? And they were two points behind this week's who, before I announce his name, may I say...

TBT: Barry Cryer!

NP: ... that I've just had a telephone message from Barry Cryer to say will you please congratulate Barry Took on being a worthy winner! We hope you've enjoyed the game, the contest, the fun, the frivolity and everything else that goes together to make up Just A Minute and will want to tune in again when we take to the air and we play this incredible game. Until then from all of us here good-bye!


ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons, the programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by David Hatch.