JAM:KWilliams,DNimmo,CFreud,SHancock
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring KENNETH WILLIAMS, DEREK NIMMO, CLEMENT FREUD and SHEILA HANCOCK, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 8 December 1969)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to this fourth volume of Just A Classic Minute. Once again we have gone into the archives and searched through nearly 800 recordings to assemble a distinctive mix of four programmes, one from each decade, the 60s, the 70s, the 80s and the 90s. And illustrate how the show has always been consistently entertaining, but also for the keen followers of Just A Minute, how it has evolved and subtly changed over the years, to give it the amazing longevity it has achieved. In this first recording from 1969, two years after the show began, the voices of Clement Freud, Sheila Hancock and myself have changed somewhat. The other two players in this edition are sadly no longer with us, Kenneth Williams and Derek Nimmo. But their voices are also more youthful than the way we remember them in their later years. The show has a more measured, gentler pace than today, in keeping with the style of entertainment, especially in game shows which was prevalent in the 60s. I'm sure one of the reasons the show has survived so well over 40 years is because it has evolved, and kept pace with the sharper and more aggressive humour of today, as the new comedians joined us in later years, and instinctively took the show forward. Being very much aware of this from my privileged position in the show, I've encouraged it, and also adapted my style and approach to running the show, keeping it, if you'll forgive the pun, up to the minute for today's audience. I've also very subtly adapted the original basic rulings which have helped this process, but more of that later. In this particular recording, the momentum of this show does gather pace, as the energy, especially from Kenneth and Derek, increases. There are fewer challenges for obvious repetition than you would find in a present day recording. Either they didn't notice them, or it was part of the gentler way of playing the game. The enthusiasm and commitment of the players develops and becomes infectious, so I become a little shatper as the show progresses. Sheila Hancock, who has not played the game as much as the other three, holds her own incredibly well. She has a very strong personality and gives as good as she gets from the male-dominated panel. Innovations were creeping into the show in 1969, which were helping to move the programme forward. I started to give bonus points for challenges that were good, but not necessarily within the rules. This encouraged humorous interplay and increased the comedy. The idea of appealing to the audience for a decision on a challenge was a very old fashioned concept, and something I would never do now. It holds back the pace of the programme. Also the creator of the game, Ian Messiter would think of strange subjects on occasions. We had one in this show, straining spaghetti through a tennis racket. The subject sounds funny but we know now it's usually better to give simpler subjects and allow the inventiveness of the panellists to make them amusing. This is a really funny show, and I'm sure you will agree an excellent one with which to begin this volume of Just A Classic Minute.

THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: We present Kenneth Williams, Derek Nimmo, Clement Freud and Sheila Hancock in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away here to tell you about it is our chairman Nicholas Parsons.

NP: Thank you, thank you very much indeed and welcome once again to Just A Minute. And once again we have four inveterate players of the game who are going to compete against each other and try and speak for Just A Minute on some unlikely subject that I will give them without hesitation, without repetition and without deviating at all if they can. And the others will score points accordingly and for those of you who may be new to the game the scoring, I hope, will become obvious as we progress. Clement Freud will you begin the show this week, the subject is watchdogs. Can you talk for 60 seconds on that subject starting now.

CLEMENT FREUD: This is a very valuable animal to have around the house. And we have got one who sleeps quite heavily. So every morning when he misses the postman, he gets up and barks at the letters! This is an embarrassment because it wakes us up at varying times of the day. A...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams you challenged.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation it was, Kenneth. So you score our first point. I agree with your challenge, you get a point and you take over the subject. There are 42 seconds left for watchdog starting now.

KW: I had one once in Cornwall. And we used to go on the beach together and it was great fun. We used to romp up and down. And his particular cleverness was being able to tell in advance exactly what sort of person was approaching. In fact when I had this er, well you couldn't call it...

BUZZ


NP: Clement Freud you challenged.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation, I quite agree Clement. So you gain a point and you take over the subject, 29 seconds left, watchdogs starting now.

CF: On many building sites they employ Alsatians which are used solely to stop intruders from coming along and taking away impedimenta that are left there by the contractor. These dogs are trained in particular kennels where they're taught to recognise those that have no...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo you've challenged.

DEREK NIMMO: Hesitation.

NP: I disagree entirely!

DN: I thought as much!

NP: Clement Freud has another point and continues with the subject, six seconds left, watchdogs starting now.

CF: There are many other species can be trained to do this sort of work, among which poodles, sheepdogs, labradors...

WHISTLE

NP: The whistle tells us that 60 seconds is up. And whoever is speaking at the time of the whistle going gains an extra point. This time it was Clement Freud so he has a lead over Kenneth Williams at the end of the first round. The other two have yet to score. Kenneth will you begin the next round. The subject is something I'm sure you are most adept at, creating. Will you speak for 60 seconds on that subject starting now.

KW: All human beings indulge in this activity. Simply because their intellectual equipment will allow them to do so. And the fact that they speak with any kind of articulate fluency, volatile nature, call it what you will, will denote the amount that their intellectual faculty is allowing them to exhibit. Of course, making is what we would equate the word with, and my first essay in this sphere was in making a...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo you've challenged. Why?

DN: Repetition of making with a touch of hesitation.

NP: There was more than a touch of hesitation I think, and there was a repetition of making. So Derek you gain a point and you take over the subject, 31 seconds left, creating starting now.

DN: What I like creating in particular are models of seven, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock you challenged.

SHEILA HANCOCK: Hesitation.

DN: Yes.

NP: Yes it wasn't quite...

KW: It wasn't so much hesitation as a fluff!

SH: A fluff.

KW: A definite fluff!

NP: Well a definite fluff gained Sheila a point. She takes over the subject with 27 seconds for creating starting now.

SH: I always envy creative artists. You see when you're an actress, you're just an interpretative artist. I think to be able to look at a picture and think "I made that" would be the most exciting thing in the world. Or a piece of music...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams you challenged.

KW: Deviation.

NP: Why?

KW: She's discussing not creating, she's discussing interpreting. So it's not allowed.

SH: I wasn't! I was talking about making a picture!

KW: You were talking about being an interpretative artist! That's what you said!

NP: Yes she was but I think she was comparing it to being a creative artist. So therefore I'm still with Sheila Hancock who has... oh really she has got two points now, and Sheila you continue with 14 seconds, creating starting now.

SH: Composing a piece of music or writing a book or a play...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?

DN: Repetition of composing a piece of music.

NP: Have you said that before Sheila?

SH: Yes I think I did, I have to admit...

NP: Oh she's so honest! So marvellous! What a nice girl to have around! Derek Nimmo there are eight seconds for creating starting now.

DN: So off I go with my little hammer. And I bang a nail into a piece of wood. This I'm turning into a large chest of drawers which I'm going to give to my aged grandmother who lives in Highbury...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?

KW: Because he's not discussing creating, he's discussing conversion, you see. And that is deviation!

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: That is a very clever challenge, but even if you are converting something, you can still be creative. So I think the only fair thing to do is to give you a bonus point for cleverness Kenneth and leave the subject with Derek with three seconds for creating starting now.

DN: So when I... go around the house and leave the keys...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila got you.

SH: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation...

KW: Ah good for you girl! Yes!

NP: There are two seconds left for creating, Sheila, starting now.

SH: A man and a woman create babies...

WHISTLE

SH: I'm so excited, I have broken my zip! I've never won one before!

NP: Well I didn't think it was winning one, I thought it was that creative thought of yours! Anyway Sheila's zip and speaking also when the whistle went has given her an extra point and she now has a lead at the end of that round.

SH: Oooohh!

NP: Sheila you begin the next round for us, things I've forgotten about. Will you talk about that if you can for 60 seconds starting now.

SH: Well I've forgotten what it was like to win a game, because I am a born loser. So I'm feeling very happy at the moment. I've forgotten...

BUZZ

NP: Derek why have you challenged?

DN: Well she's remembered that, how she felt before. So in that case it's deviation.

SH: What do you mean? I've never remembered anything!

NP: Yes just a moment. I'm going to try and be awfully fair here if I can. You have remembered but you are still talking about the things that you have forgotten. So I will give Derek a bonus point for cleverness but still leave the subject with you...

SH: Right!

NP: And there are 53 seconds for things I've forgotten about starting now.

SH: Well virtually anything comes into this category because I have the worst memory on God's earth. I mean some people say that "I can remember faces but I can't remember names". Well I can remember neither names nor faces...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud, you challenged.

CF: Repetition of names and faces.

NP: Yes, and remembering them too. Clement you have another point and you take over the subject, 42 seconds for things I've forgotten about starting now.

CF: I think this is an absolutely impossible subject about which to talk...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?

KW: Well deviation, obviously if he doesn't want to talk about it, why discuss it at all?

NP: If it's impossible to talk about, out of his own mouth he has committed himself of deviation. So Kenneth you take over the subject, 37 seconds, things I've forgotten about starting now.

KW: They would comprise many of the parts which I have played. And I suppose the reason that they are forgotten is that nature designs...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila why have you challenged?

SH: Well I thought it was hesitation, but he went on all right, so I won't start.

NP: It does mean that as you did challenge Kenneth gets another point and he continues...

SH: Ooohhh!

NP: ...with the subject for 27 seconds for things I've forgotten about Kenneth starting now.

KW: Because if one's mental apparatus really did contain the capacity to store indefinitely, we would all, I suppose, end up stark raving bonkers! Otherwise...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?

DN: Well he put it in the future. Deviation, he's already stark raving bonkers!

KW: You don't know what you're talking about!

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: You are saying Kenneth is devious because he's stark raving bonkers? He...

DN: He said he would become stark raving bonkers...

NP: And you maintain...

DN: My proposition was he is stark raving bonkers!

NP: I will put this, I will not judge on people's personalities, I will put it to the audience again. Do you think that Kenneth Williams is now, at this moment, stark raving bonkers? If you do, will you all cheer? Will you do all the cheers first? Cheers for is he bonkers now!

CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Is he not bonkers now?

CHEERS AND BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: They all think you're stark raving bonkers! I'm not going to give any points on that. It's not fair, you're being a rotten audience!

KW: Yes!

NP: I'm going to charge no points and leave it with Kenneth Williams...

KW: Filthy lot we've got in here!

NP: Kenneth there are 18 seconds for things I've forgotten about starting now.

KW: And of course one reason for this um...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo you've challenged.

DN: Repetition of reasons.

NP: Yes you've got reason before, there was also a hesitation. But Derek, this time I give you a point. Fourteen seconds, things I've forgotten about starting now.

DN: I have an air raid shelter at the bottom of my mother's garden...

BUZZ

NP: Clement why have you challenged?

CF: He's remembered the air raid shelter!

DN: There are things in it that I've forgotten!

NP: Oh! Tremendously difficult subject, Ian Messiter, really! All right, I gave the benefit of the doubt to Derek last time, I'll give the benefit of the doubt to Clement. Eight seconds left, things I've forgotten about Clement starting now.

CF: Filled with a vacuum of mist and fog, rain pelting in through the doors and the windows...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila why have you challenged?

SH: I think deviation. What's he talking about?

NP: I quite agree. This time I, I justifiably give you a point. Two seconds left starting now.

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud you're in again.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation.

SH: I was drawing breath!

NP: One second left starting now.

CF: An afternoon in Reigate...

WHISTLE

KW: Bravo! Bravo!

NP: You do see how our most experienced player of the game, Clement Freud, has got his...

SH: He's a cheat!

NP: He's not a cheat! We've all got a fair chance in this game and Clement's very sharp actually! And now he's taken the lead... oh no he's not! He's equal alongside the indomitable Kenneth Williams!

KW: Hooray! Oh lovely! Oh lackaday! Rue!

NP: I might tell you that in second place also equal and only one point behind are the couple on my left. Talk on the subject now Clement Freud please if you can, of wit for 60 seconds starting now.

CF: Wit is the sort of thing that you can only talk about if you're on your own. When many of you are speaking in unison, there is a certain witlessness about the conversation which I've often found on this programme! The word is also given to describe the occasion seven days after Easter... seven weeks after Easter...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo you've challenged, why?

DN: Repetition of seven.

NP: There was indeed so Derek you take over the subject of wit, 40 seconds starting now.

DN: I like witty folk. I love to hear jolly jokes like how does my dog smell? Horrible!

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud...

DN: (shouting hysterically) My dog's got no nose. How does he smell? Horrible! That's the one! Yes!

NP: Clement Freud you challenged.

CF: Repetition.

NP: Yes indeed...

CF: I've heard the joke before!

NP: Oh that was a very clever challenge. It doesn't deserve... it wasn't hesitation. No, you get a point for a clever challenge because you may have heard the joke before but it's now wit still with you Derek, 33 seconds left starting now.

DN: Too-wit, too-woo, said the owl...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth why have you challenged?

KW: Repetition of too.

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I think in that situation I must give it to you Kenneth, yes. I agree, 30 seconds left for wit Kenneth starting now.

KW: The best thing was said on this subject, of course, by Alexander Pope. A perfect judge will read each work of wit in the same spirit that its author wrote. And wit, in this sense, should be noted very carefully by most of London's critics! They're a load of rubbish of course! None of them have any qualifications for discussing wit, yet they all do it, what seems to me...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila you challenged.

SH: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation.

KW: Well you should let me go on! I was having a go at them!

SH: I agree, yes!

NP: Now you've got her inhibited about it!

KW: Yes! She's inhibited!

NP: I thought the critics had inhibited you!

KW: No!

NP: Right, nine seconds left for wit Sheila starting now.

SH: This can also mean canniness or...

BUZZ

NP: Clement why have you challenged?

CF: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation yes. But I have to hear you say it unless it's something different which I would disagree with. Clement, four seconds left for wit starting now.

CF: So that given number of days after Easter, we come to the celebration...

WHISTLE

NP: Well as Clement Freud was speaking when the whistle went then he gains the extra point. And it puts him in the lead equal alongside Derek Nimmo at the end of that round. But only just behind are Kenneth and Sheila, it's anybody's game still. Kenneth will you begin the next round. The subject, following what we've been talking is very apt. It's called talking sense. Will you speak for 60 seconds on that starting now.

KW: Talking sense I take to mean making your phrases intelligible and comprehensible to your interlocutor. In the famous essay on the subject, Positive Torkis Trends by Professor Unwin, he said to ride in the early maude, to waking forth the clarity in the milode, to perthing...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo you've challenged. Why?

DN: Well deviation.

NP: Why?

DN: He's quoting Professor Unwin who always talks rubbish anyway! So he's not talking sense!

NP: I will give a bonus point to Derek for his challenge but leave the subject with you Kenneth, with 40 seconds left, talking sense starting now.

KW: You talk sense by very often differentiating between the positive and the negative. You illustrate hot by illustrating cold. Of course I realise I've repeated myself then and I should really shut up straight away...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud you've challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Deviation, why?

CF: From the subject.

NP: Oh yes he did go off the subject by saying I repeated myself then.

KW: Yes. I did.

NP: Yes, you gave yourself away! So there are 28 seconds for you Clement on talking sense starting now.

CF: One of the greatest exponents of this art is Mister Derek Neemo who often pronounces his name...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?

DN: Deviation, the name is Nimmo, not Neemo.

CF: Oh really?

DN: Sorry I've given it away!

NP: If Clement said he wasn't talking about you, instead a chap I knew called Derek Neemo I would have left it with him. But he's admitted he was talking about my friend over here. So Derek you take your point, you take over the subject, 22 seconds left starting now.

DN: And look the gentle day before the wheels of Phoebus, round about, dapples the drowsy east with spots of grey...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?

KW: It's nothing to do with talking sense. This is just reciting poetry!

DN: I am talking sense!

NP: Poetry can be sense you know, but he is reciting poetry. So I'll give you a clever point, a point for... (laughs) A clever point! I'll give you a point for cleverness...

KW: You should do, because talking is totally distinct from recitation.

NP: Yes indeed...

KW: Thank you, I'm glad you made that point!

NP: I can't give you two points Kenneth...

DN: It's not fair really.

NP: And I leave the subject because what he was saying was talking sense whether it was reciting or whether it was poetry or not. So Derek carries on for 11 seconds, talking sense, starting now.

DN: I ran down the Strand on a May morning and there in the middle of the road was a policeman with his hat on. I said "why don't you talk sense?" He replied "do be quiet, I'm on point duty. I can't possibly do that when I'm on point duty." I said "you're quite right..."

BUZZ

DN: (gabbling on)

NP: You've been challenged Derek, I'm terribly sorry.

DN: Really?

CF: Repetition of point duty.

NP: Yes indeed there was, Clement heard you repeat point duty more than once. So Clement you take over the subject, three seconds left, talking sense starting now.

CF: The chief defect of Henry King was chewing little bits of...

WHISTLE

NP: Right at the end of that round Clement Freud is in a lead of one over Derek Nimmo and the other two are a little bit way behind. Sheila Hancock will you begin the next round, slimming. Will you talk about that for 60 seconds starting now.

SH: This is a subject that I find the biggest bore on God's earth. Every newspaper you open tells you a new way of doing it. One week you have to eat a lettuce leaf on a banana. The next week you have to have two sultanas and a grapefruit. The only way to slim actually is to go without food, to fast totally, and just have lemon water for three days. This is the way I do it. I step on my scales every morning and if I feel one pound over my perfect weight, which I'm not telling you, I then slim for the rest of the day. I go without my breakfast or lunch or my dinner at night until I've lost the two pounds that I've gained. Then I have...

BUZZ

NP: Clement why have you challenged?

CF: Hesitation.

NP: No, I disagree! No, no, Sheila has another point and 25 seconds for slimming starting now.

SH: Then I do exercises. Yoga, standing on my head, so that all my muscles are tense and I have no surplus flat...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth you got in first...

SH: No, it's not deviation! I have a surplus flat where I do my exercises!

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I haven't heard Kenneth's challenge.

KW: Oh she took the words out of my mouth, didn't she! She's brilliant! She's a BA, you know!

NP: She is?

KW: She doesn't go round telling anyone, but she's a BA!

NP: Kenneth you challenged for deviation...

KW: Well I was going to but then she put it right, didn't she! I didn't have a leg to stand on.

NP: Yes but she put it right a little bit too late. You got in first and I'm entitled to give you your challenge for deviation because she was referring to her slimming and I don't think she has a surplus flat!

SH: How do you know?

NP: You can prove it to us now if you like, Sheila or I'll pass it straight on to Kenneth. Kenneth I give you a point, 15 seconds for slimming starting now.

KW: Well this is something of course that has never occurred to me. I always possess this lithe supple rather sylph-like appearance...

BUZZ

NP: Derek why have you challenged?

DN: Deviation he's not talking about slimming at all, he's talking about the beauty of his own body which is...

NP: Ah but Derek, the beauty of his own body might have been achieved through slimming. Kenneth you've got another point, five seconds left for slimming starting now.

KW: Indeed people have commented on it and said to me "do you go on a diet or something? How did it come about..."

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round, what is the score? Clement's still just in the lead over the other three. Derek will you begin the next round, my first crush. Can you tell us all about that Derek, 60 seconds will do starting now.

CF: Her name was Jean Pirrot. She had blue grey eyes and rather long blonde hair and she was 13 years old and she lived behind a high green edge in a green suburb of Liverpool. I first saw her...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila why have you challenged?

SH: Repetition of green.

NP: Yes there was too much green there, I'm afraid.

DN: Oh.

NP: So Sheila you take over the subject, 46 seconds for my first crush starting now.

SH: Was a gentleman called Alan Coast and please don't write to me if you're listening. It was when I was evacuated and he worked on a farm and for some unknown reason, I pretended I was twins. I called myself Irenie and Sheila, and I completely...

BUZZ

NP: Clement why have you challenged?

CF: Repetition!

SH: Repetition! (laughs)

NP: Well, all right...

KW: I was dieing to hear that.

SH: It was going to be a good story. I'll tell you afterwards Kenneth.

NP: No, no, I'm going to leave it with you Sheila because I agree it is repetition, it's one of those clever challenges but it's still true that she did do this. So a bonus point to Clement for a clever challenge, 31 seconds with Sheila for my first crush starting now.

SH: And I pretended that Irenie was a nasty...

BUZZ

NP: Derek why have you challenged?

DN: Repetition, pretended. She pretended she was twins, she pretended...

SH: Yes.

NP: That's right, and also repetition of Irenie. Twenty-nine seconds for my first crush Derek starting now.

DN: We were members of the All Hallows Church Youth Group together and we used to dance on Friday evenings when we were all foregathered. Sometimes we used to go for rambles in the Wirral countryside and I long remember those blue sunny days in that far off spring when we first met. When I last saw her she was standing on the landing stage at Liverpool and I waved to her from a troop ship as I set out to Cyprus. She was 17 years old and her hair was already tinged with...

WHISTLE

SH: AStanding on a landing stage as you went to Cyprus! That was total rubbish! That's the most deviated load of rubbish I've ever heard in my life!

KW: Sentimental cloying...

SH: (makes being sick sounds)

DN: And if you are, if you are listening Jean, please do write!

NP: So at the end of that round Derek Nimmo got another point when the whistle went. He has now taken the lead alongside Clement Freud. Um Clement will you begin the next round, the subject is straining spaghetti through a tennis racquet. Clement will you speak about that for 60 seconds if you can starting now.

CF: The problem about straining spaghetti through a tennis racquet is to differentiate the catgut from the pasta. Many people think that it's far easier to strain vermicelli through a badminton bat but I... don't agree with...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth why have you challenged?

KW: Hesitation.

NP: Kenneth has a point, 43 seconds for straining spaghetti through a tennis racquet Kenneth starting now.

KW: Well the best way to do this is to take the saucepan and pour it over the racquet and see that it gets in another dish. I can't really find anything else to say about the subject...

BUZZ

NP: Derek why have you challenged?

DN: Deviation because he can't find anything else to say.

NP: Well he may not be able to find anything else to say but he can still go on talking about it which is the game after all. So Kenneth has another point and there are 34 seconds left, straining spaghetti through a tennis racquet Kenneth starting now.

KW: The last time I saw this actually executed was in a film and the bloke doing it was very funny. Because he got hold of the racquet and he held it at a very peculiar angle so that most of the stuff, instead of being strained, so to speak, was all going over him, you see. And it was the cause of an awful lot of...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud why have you challenged?

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Because he didn't strain spaghetti through the...

NP: I quite agree! It was going over him, so it wasn’t going through the racquet, so it's deviation. So Clement...

KW: Oh!

NP: Kenneth has just given Clement a tickle for cleverness! And he carries on with the subject, 15 seconds left, starting now.

CF: The average rate of straining is three pounds of spaghetti per 10 minutes, provided there are the requisite number of strings on the racquet...

BUZZ

NP: Derek why have you challenged?

DN: Repetition of strings.

NP: Yes you're quite right, we've had strings before. And so there are nine seconds left for you Derek, straining spaghetti through a tennis racquet starting now.

DN: And so I took the thing out of its case, and I went into my kitchen and very carefully brought the spaghetti to a boil. I then poured it slowly over the top of the racquet...

BUZZ

NP: Clement why have you challenged?

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Spaghetti's plural. He poured it!

KW: Oooohh!

DN: Oh!

KW: Oooohhh! Ohhhhhh!

SH: Is it?

NP: But colloquially...

SH: What's the singular? What's one spaghetti?

NP: What's one spaghetti! What is one spaghetti Clement?

SH: Spaghettoff?

CF: One spaghetti's it!

NP: Well one...

SH: No, you wouldn't say a...

DN: I said a bowl of spaghetti actually.

KW: He's the chairman! You can't all shout the odds!

SH: You're right Kenneth!

NP: And I might tell you the chairman's got a difficult decision so which ever way this goes it's going to be the winner of the show.

KW: Ooohhh!

SH: Give it to me! Give it to me!

NP: No I think that very colloquially in this show, and we do speak very colloquially in this show, one would say stirring the spaghetti that you strained it through the racquet. It might be one thing, it might be the bowl of spaghetti. So I think I have decided it is with Derek Nimmo. Do you agree, audience, or not?

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: There is one second left there Derek for the subject starting now.

DN: One pulls the stand through very carefully...

WHISTLE

NP: So as Derek Nimmo was speaking when the whistle went and because of that last point he got, he has now at the end of that final round which that one must be I'm afraid, taken a small lead and become the winner of Just A Minute this week, Derek Nimmo! Only a little way behind was Clement Freud and only fractionally behind Kenneth Williams and Sheila Hancock. That is all we have time for, we do hope that you have enjoyed this particular edition of Just A Minute. Good-bye from us all.

THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons, the programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by David Hatch.