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WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE! starring DEREK NIMMO, CLEMENT FREUD, ANDREE MELLY and PRUNELLA SCALES, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 20 January 1968)
NOTE: First appearances by Andree Melly and Prunella Scales. Thank you to Nylon for transcribing this. THEME MUSIC ANNOUNCER: We present Clement Freud, Derek Nimmo, Prunella Scales and Andrée Melly in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away here to tell you about it is the man of the minute, Nicholas Parsons. NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you very much indeed and welcome once again to Just A Minute and once more I have on either side of me very talented, attractive, intelligent, erudite people who are going to compete against each other by talking for Just A Minute on a rather unlikely subject that I will suddenly present to them without hesitation, without deviation and without repetition. In other words they must keep going, they must stick to the point and they must never stray from the subject. Beside me is Ian Messiter who thought of the game. He has a stopwatch and a hooter and he will blow his hooter now. HOOTER NP: That denotes that someone has spoken for sixty seconds and the time is up. People can gain points by challenging. This will become obvious as we play the game so let us start straight off this week with Andrée Melly and would you like to try to talk for just a minute, Andrée, on the subject of Brownies, starting now. ANDREE MELLY: I joined the Brownies when I was about seven. I started as a common-or-garden Pixie but was soon promoted to being sixer of the Pixies, which is kind of head girl, there being six girls per patrol. The other patrols in our particular Brownie pack were the Elves and the Sprites. We spent a lot of the time running around a large papier-mâché tood - toadstool... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo, why do you challenge? DEREK NIMMO: Well, hesitation. BUZZER CONTINUES DN: I'm so sorry. It's going on, really - hesitation, and deviation. NP: We realise you were buzzing. DN: I don't like 'toodstoles' very much. NP: On what basis do you challenge? DN: Ummmmmmmm - deviation. There are no such things as 'toodstoles'. NP: Ahhh, yes. AM: A toodstole is a papier-mâché toadstool. NP: Well done, Andrée Melly. You've gained you point because I don't think it was so - Would you continue talking, Andrée, on the Brownies, starting now? AM: We used to run about this toad...stool, singing our... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: It's repetitious, all this running round and round. You'd get dizzy apart from anything else. NP: She did run around the toadstool for more than once so I agree. We'll give you a point because you almost won a point last time. Derek, would you now like to talk about Brownies - a very apt subject, I'm sure - um - starting now? DN: I, last week, went to the Brownies and I sat on a little chair by the toadstool and I watched my small daughter being inaugurated, if that's the word, as a little Brownie. She was an Elf, actually in fact, and there were only three in her six. BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. Why do you challenge? CLEMENT FREUD: Repetition. "Actually, in fact". It's only sixty seconds. One ought to be able to manage sixty seconds without "actually, in fact". It was sickening listening to the little chair and the little girl and the little pack... DN: My daughter! NP: All right Clement. You have a point. Would you like to talk about the Brownies, starting now. NP: Just to remind you the whistle tells us that 60 seconds are up, and whoever is speaking at that moment gets the extra point. Derek you have a lead at the end of that round, one over all, over two others, and two over one. Derek will you begin the next round please, the subject is dolphins. Can you talk about them for Just A Minute starting now. CF: The Brownies... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Hesitation. He takes a long time to get going! NP: No, no. I think he got going just in time. It is still with you, Clement Freud. The Brownies, starting now. CF: The Brownies they... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo, you challenged. DN: Well, I was just going to say hesitation again because he's so so slow, he's so ponderous, he's so boring really. I mean, you know, every time he's "the - Brownies - are - [droning incomprehensibly] rah - rah - rah and take three onions and two turnips..." and we all have to do three times more work in sixty seconds as he does! NP: Well, all right. You do very well, Derek. You've done a tremendous amount of work just then. I'd like to have given you a bonus point for that performance, but unfortunately it doesn't fit in with the game. Clement still has another point and also fifteen seconds in which to continue talking about the Brownies, starting now. CF: (rapidly) The Brownies are the female junior organisation of the Boy Scouts which was founded by Lord Baden... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PRUNELLA SCALES: They're not. They're the female organisation of the Wolf Cubs. NP: Ahh. DN: Makes sense. NP: Your chairman has been faced with some knowledge which he doesn't actually possess. CF: I did say "Female junior". NP: Female junior... ? Well, you spoke so quickly we couldn't hear a word you said. CF: I do tend to speak very quickly. I'm sorry about this. NP: Prunella Scales. Would you talk about the Brownies, starting now. PS: Well, apart from knowing that about them, I don't know anything else about Brownies at all but... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo, why do you challenge? DN: Deviation. NP: Why? DN: She doesn't know anything about them! PS: I was... DN: She said she didn't. NP: You are right. The thing is that in this particular game you often have to talk about something you don't know anything about. Prunella Scales, you have an extra point, you have eight seconds, you have the Brownies as the subject, and you start now. PS: Brownies are a cake. You make it with flour and black treacle... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. CF: Deviation. NP: Will you justify your... CF: Hesitation. NP: Brownie cake? PS: Brownies are cakes. DN: It's true. AM: There are some cakes called Brownies? CF: Advertising. PS: I talk about them because I don't know anything about the other kind. NP: Well done. CF: Filthy advertising. NP: And you are not below [stammers] descending to any... DN: It's quite true. CF: Hesitation. NP: All right. You give two points to Prunella Scales. Thank you very much, Clement Freud. You're being very generous. Will you contine - you still have three seconds. You still have the subject "The Brownies", Prunella Scales, and we'd like to you start now. PS: Half a pound of flour. HOOTER NP: Well, that's the first time a guest has joined us and taken such a sharp lead, I must say with the help of all the other members of the... PS: I was winking at Nicholas Parsons. NP: Right. You're well in the lead, Prunella Scales with six points. Clement Freud has three. Andrée Melly and Derek Nimmo have one apiece. And Clement Freud, sixty seconds please, on chemist shops, starting now. CF: A man went into a chemist shop and said, "Do you sell talcum powder?" and the chemist looked at him and said, "Certainly sir. Will you walk this way?" And the man said, "If I could walk that way I wouldn't sell talcum powder." This is one of the oldest... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. Yes. PS: He's telling funny stories. He's not talking about chemist shops. NP: He was still on the subject of chemist shops. I actually heard him say it. So he has got a point. And Clement Freud, there are thirty-five seconds left for chemist shops starting now. CF: Chemist shops are a vital part of the economic life of any community and in every town and city one chemist shop stays open all night in case of emergency. Chemist shops sell many beautiful things as well as baby foods and other necessities. They sell medicines that make you happy, cheerful, keep you awake late at night, make you sleep early in the evening... HOOTER NP: Well done, Clement Freud. An extra point as the hooter went as you were speaking. Prunella Scales, it's your turn. Would you like to talk for Just A Minute please on The Telephone, starting now. PS: I love the telephone. I would do... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. CF: Deviation. You were asked to speak on the telephone. You spoke into a microphone. NP: I rather... PS: I think that's a quibble! NP: It - It's rather a clever challenge. You might even call it a quibble. I am with you, Prunella. And you have fifty-seven seconds to continue talking about The Telephone starting now. PS: If I could I would do everything on the telephone. Obviously there are some... NP: A most embarrassing... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. CF: Deviation. That is plain kinky. I mean - really! PS: I'm on the subject... NP: It may be kinky, but as I understand the rules of this game, we're not going in for that type of deviation. You have 53 seconds to continue with your telephone starting now. PS: Obviously there are some things that can not be done on the telephone, but otherwise I would do all my shopping and letter writing on the telephone if I possibly could afford it but of course it's cheaper not to. My husband hates the telephone. He says if - if he says into the telephone "Saturday, two-thirty" it comes out the other end as "Tuesday at five." However... BUZZ NP: However, Andrée Melly. AM: Hesitation. NP: Yes, I think entirely justified. Would you continue talking about the telephone starting now. AM: I think that nearly all women like chatting on the telephone and all men hate it. I spend many hours talking to my girlfriends on the phone and my husband - ah - can't understand why it's necessary, what it's all about, what what it is about this new system with all the pips you don't hear which means that each minute costs - ah - I think something like - ah... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: Hesitation. "Err." Quite unmistakeable. NP: Quite unmistakeable. Prunella Scales, you have another point and fifteen seconds for The Telephone starting now. PS: One of the sad things about the telephone nowadays is the substitution of figures for letters. I always used to enjoy those letters that you had and when you asked someone for their telephone number you could always tell where they lived by what they said. Nowadays they say eight three three... HOOTER DN: Derek, it's your turn to begin and here is a very apt subject for me but I'm giving it to you to talk for sixty seconds on Embarrassment, starting now. DN: I've always found myself to be an embarrassment and this is a sentiment that seems to be shared by many of my friends, particularly Clement Freud. I always remember one particularly embarrassing occasion when I was standing, playing a police constable on Wimbledon Common and the rest of the film unit had gone off somewhere else leaving me behind... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. Why do you challenge? PS: Deviation. And hesitation, all the way along the line. NP: I think you are really chancing your arm a bit too much now. No! No, Prunella Scales you have given Derek Nimmo a point and will you continue talking... DN: A badly-needed point. NP: ... about Embarrassment. And Prunella Scales is covered by embarrassment at this moment. Um, would you continue. DN: I'm standing there dressed as a policeman when a lady came rushing up to me and said, "My daughter's just been interfered with in the woods. Will you come and please help?" I said, "I'm terribly sorry, I'm not a real policeman." She said, "You must be a real policeman" and whereupon she dragged me by the arm and asked me to go and rescue her daughter. It took me a long time and produced a most embarrassing situation before I could - er - extract my... BUZZ NP: Andrée Melly, why have you... AM: Hesitation. NP: Yes, I think that was justified. Will you like to talk for the last sixteen seconds on Embarrassment starting now. AM: The most embarrassing situation I had was when I was a schoolgirl about eight and we used to have to serve at table and clear the food away and pinch the sausages from the toad in the hole and stuff them up our navy-blue knickers to eat later... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo, why do you... DN: Deviation. NP: Why? DN: Stuffing sausages up her knickers? The most devious thing I've ever heard of. I'm so sorry. NP: Whatever she did with her sausage, not deviating from the subject, and I would like you to continue if you can, Andrée Melly on the subject of sausages - no no no! On the subject of Embarrassment starting now. AM: That particular day we were caught out... HOOTER NP: And Andrée Melly has caught up to six - ah - still a little behind Clement Freud and Prunella Scales. Derek Nimmo for once is left far behind. DN: I'm rather worried about those sausages up Andrée Melly's knickers. We just left them there. Nobody's worried about them at all, poor girl. NP: Having paused for laughter we will continue with Andrée Melly and I'd like you to talk if you can, Andrée, for sixty seconds on Useless Information, starting now. AM: Why is it that one always seems to remember useless pieces of information and not retain useful ones? For instance I can never remember how to perform the kiss of life but one particular fact which I will never forget that I learnt about fifteen years ago was that lack of Vitamin E causes sterility in rats. Now, what possible use this could be to the rats or to me I really don't know, but it's something that sticks firmly in my mind. I can't remember what lack of Vitamin A, B, C and D causes except I know... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: Deviation? NP: Why? PS: Well, she's going on about vitamins now. NP: I know. She's been on about vitamins for quite a time. I think Prunella's challenge is justified. She has a point, she has twenty-seven seconds and she has the subject of Useless Information. PS: One of the reasons I didn't s- interrupt. BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Hesitation. NP: Yes. Derek, would you start now - sorry, what's the subject? - Useless Information, starting now. DN: The most useless infopiece - in - piece of information- [SCREAMS] BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. What do you challenge on? PS: Hesitation. NP: Yes. You've got a point. Take the subject back again. Useless Information, starting now. PS: One of the reasons I didn't interrupt before was because I couldn't think of anything to say about this. BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Well I don't know she's, on about now. NP: Deviation. You're quite right. DN: Deviation. NP: You have another point. Derek Nimmo, Useless Information starting now. DN: ...If you take 17... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. DN: ... pennies... CF: Hesitation. NP: Hesitation. You have a point. Useless Information starting now. CF: [rapidly] In Derek Nimmo's book "Mary Had a Little Lamb and Other Interesting Cases in Gynaecology" one of the most useless items of information was talking about chil... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Can't hear him! NP: Well, I'm afraid we could. Is that what you're challenging on? DN: Ah - deviation. NP: Not deviation, no. Clement Freud has another point. You have eight seconds, Clement Freud. Useless Information, starting now. CF: One of the most interesting items about wood lice is how they jump backwards. A wood lou... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: He's talking about wood lice. He's supposed to be talking about useless information. NP: How do you justify your wood lice in Useless Information? CF: This was going to be the most useless information... AM: It's fascinating. NP: I think that, no, I think that it sounds as useless about wood lice jumping backwards, um, it sounds as useless as anything. So continue please, Clement Freud, starting now. CF: In a recent questionnaire... HOOTER NP: Well, Clement Freud, you've gained an extra point as you were speaking as the hooter went. Prunella Scales, it's your turn to begin. Travelling By Air, starting now. BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Well, it was just all air. It was just hesitation. It was nothing. NP: I quite agree. Um. You've gained a point, and the subject. Travelling By Air, Derek Nimmo, starting now. DN: I think nothing could be more attractive than climbing into a little basket and soaring up into the clouds with a great balloon billowing above one's head and gradually discarding bags of sand into the earth merrily as you float higher and higher. Also it would be awfully nice to look over the edge and see where the bags of sand are landing. Then you go higher and higher and higher. You go over the clouds into the... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. CF: Repetition: higher and higher and higher! NP: When I'm flying I'd rather fly high and Derek Nimmo you have gained a point, and you have thirty seconds for your subject starting now. DN: As one approaches London, one would look over the edge of one little basket, observe the houses of parliament, then fly further on across the Thames until one saw the Downs and there perhaps one would land from one's balloon... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. CF: Deviation. NP: Why? CF: He's landed. NP: A very clever challenge. The subject actually is 'Travelling By Air', except I don't know. You've got to land if you're travelling by air, sometime. That's one of the... DN: I was only going to put some more gas in my balloon. NP: Yes. Well, I think all of you have plenty of gas with you anyway, and I think it's one of those occasions when, you know, it's very difficult to decide. So let the audience here decide for us. Do you think Clement Freud's challenge of landing was justified? If so will you please clap. APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE NP: Do you think Derek Nimmo was justified in not being challenged would you please clap. APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE NP: Derek Nimmo, you've got a point. You're catching up fast. You have thirteen seconds. You have the subject 'Travelling By Air' and you start now. DN: Having rapidly put some more gas back into my balloon I will then go up into the clouds once more, drifting towards the channel. Then I would look out of my basket and see aeroplanes flying past, great ships of the air... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. Why have you... CF: Hesitation. NP: I - er... DN: Great ships - do you know, like, schwepper- oh, you can't say that. Ships! CF: In that case, that's hesitation. NP: No, no. It wasn't hesitation in the true meaning of the word, I don't think. He's got another point and one second to go. Your subject is 'Travelling By Air' starting now. DN: An autogyro... BUZZ HOOTER NP: Clement Freud you- No! No! I'm sorry. Clement Freud you challenged beforehand. What was your challenge? CF: He hadn't got a word out by the time the - um - buzzer went, which was a second, which is hesitation. DN: Oooh, I had. I said "An autogyro". CF: I couldn't wait for it, could I? NP: No, you tried very hard. I won't give Derek an extra point for that. I knew you were just trying. So but Derek has now got eight points. He's overtaken Andrée Melly who's got six, but he's still not caught up with Clement Freud who has eleven and Prunella Scales is just in the lead with twelve points and it is now, Clement Freud, your turn to begin. Would you like to talk for just one minute please on Northern Island, starting now CF: Northern Ireland actually contains nine counties, whereas Ulster contains six counties. The counties of Northern Ireland are Antrim, Tyrone, Armagh, Fermanagh, Down, and a county which currently escapes me but I'm sure will come back to me. The counties which are in Northern Ireland but are not part of the six counties are called Donegal... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Hesitation. He just sort of packed up, really. NP: He was flying too high with his general knowledge and geography - um - so - er - you continue with Northern Ireland, starting now. DN: I've always wanted to go to Northern Ireland particularly because I rather like the Irish. I always find them to be rather whimsical and amusing and not a bit like Clement Freud. I also- I've always wanted to find one of those leaf things that they're always selling in shops in - er - New Bond Street. BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: That's Southern Ireland. Deviation. NP: And I would justify that because I do think the ones I've seen in the shops are from the South. Prunella Scales. PS: One of the only things I know about Northern Ireland is that the Giant's Causeway is there. I think it's a formation of rocks or something and people go to see if from all over Northern Ireland and indeed from abroad when they go there to see this um phenomenon. BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Hesitation. NP: Yes. You have about five second to continue with Northern Ireland, starting now. DN: I once met a gentleman in a pub in Dublin. BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. CF: Deviation. "I once met a gentleman in a pub in Dublin" has nothing to do with Northern Ireland. NP: Nothing to do with Northern Ireland. You have gained an extra point, Clement Freud. You have about three or four seconds, starting now. CF: Belfast is the capital city of Northern Ireland. It has a... HOOTER NP: Incidentally, that last round, Clement, has brought you up level with Prunella Scales in the lead, but Derek Nimmo has shot up into third place ahead of Andrée Melly who is fourth. Derek Nimmo, it's your turn to begin and we'd like you to try to talk for a minute on Being Absolutely Sincere starting now. DN: This is difficult for me because I the most insincere person that I know. I in fact are sprong... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales, why do you challenge? PS: Well, if he starts off talking about being absolutely sincere saying that he's the most insincere person... I think it's deviation. NP: It's a very subtle point. I won't give you the benefit of the doubt next time. I'll give it to you this time. Would you continue with your subject, Being Absolutely Sincere, starting now. DN: Sincerity is an attribute which I would like to possess. I've always admired the people who possess sincerity. There's member of parliament, Mr Harold Wilson, Mr George Brown. Those wonderful people who can go on the television screen and say, "I am being absolutely sincere when I tell you..." I've always warmed to those people and it's always caused me great regret that I haven't possessed that degree of sincerity. Sometimes, when wandering through Northern Ireland... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: Deviation. NP: Why? How were you going to continue, Derek? DN: I was going to talk about the most sincere person I'd ever met in Northern Ireland, you see? I met him wandering through this little lane. You didn't allow me to meet him, you see. He was just around the next corner, actually, and I nearly got there. NP: Derek, would you continue with the subject Being Absolutely Sincere, starting now? DN: Being absolutely sincere is of vital importance if you want to be a politician or a cookery expert. If you are a cookery expert it is terribly important to put down on a pi... BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: He's talking about cookery experts, not being absolutely sincere. DN: Are you suggesting that cookery experts aren't sincere? NP: I do think he quite ably... PS: Deviation. NP: No, no. You can't change the challenge. I think he quite ably managed to put the two together, and he still has four seconds in which to continue the subject starting now. DN: If you go through a vocabulary you will find "sincere" under the letter "s". HOOTER PS: I did my best. DN: Derek Nimmo has now shot into the lead from being number four with Clement Freud and Prunella Scales all equal and Andrée Melly a little way behind. But she has a chance now because it's her turn to begin and - um - Andrée Melly. I'd like to talk for sixty seconds please on My Best Enemy starting now. AM: My best enemy was a girl called Eve Lovitt. She had red hair and a lot of freckles and I was seven at the time and she must have been about ten, though she seemed to me to be about thirty-five. She was the absolute terror of the particular form I was in and everyone was very frightened of her, me in particular. One of the favourite things she used to do was to say to the rest of the girls, "Hands up everybody who likes me," and if I put my hand up I was accused of lying (which was perfectly true because I hated her guts) and if I didn't put my hand up, I was victimised for not liking her. One of her favourite punishments was to take me outside the classroom after school and make me climb up a Monkey Puzzle tree and hang by my knees until my Wellington boots fell off, which she would then hide while a very irate uncle - who came to collect me because I was a day girl at the school, which was mostly boarders - would stand by while I tried to find the Wellington boots.... HOOTER NP: Well, that actually is the first time that somebody in this particular game has actually managed to speak for sixty seconds without the other members finding any fault and being able to find any reason to challenge. So I think she needs a round of applause and certainly an extra point. Well done, Andrée Melly. Umm - Prunella Scales it is your turn. Would you like to talk please on the subject of Ice for sixty seconds starting now. PS: Ice is perfectly horrible stuff. It's nasty on the roads... BUZZ NP: Andrée Melly. You challenged. AM: Hesitation. IAN MESSITER: Yes. NP: Yes, I think it was hesitation, yes. It's so difficult to decide but I think just - yes. Andrée Melly it's with you - Ice. Starting now. AM: My fridge always gets over-iced and has to be defrosted which is a very complicated operation as you press a red button and turn the number right down to zero and then the ice - as it's melting - falls down in large lumps and clatters to the floor in nasty puddles. I was very impressed in America with these ice making machines. I didn't understand how they worked but the ice used to come out in small cubes into the whiskey or whatever it was you were drinking and this was a terrific status symbol, especially in hotels which advertised that they had special ice-making machines in the rooms, to go with the television sets, et cetera. Um oooh. BUZZ NP: It was too good to be true, wasn't it? Clement Freud, you challenged. CF: Yes, hesitation. NP: Hesitation. Will you continue talking about ice. There are thirteen seconds left, starting now. CF: Ice is a very important thing to have in drinks because drinks must be very cold, and the best way to cool drinks is to put lumps of ice into it, preferably into a cocktail shaker and take a cocktail stick and shake the ice around... BUZZ HOOTER NP: Prunella, you challenged just before the hooter. Why? PS: Well, deviation really because he was on cocktails. I was only trying to save... NP: But you did say you had ice in the cocktails so I am sorry. No. You've actually given him a point by doing that, and he gets a point for finishing as it went, which puts him into the lead with - um oh yes - just into the lead. What a pity. Anyway, because... DN: You see he wanted Prunella Scales to win! NP: No, d'you know, no - I ask the audience - I ask the audience - I ask the audience, particularly Clement Freud to believe me that I made that last remark because I looked at the score and I - this is the last one coming up and I was hoping that for once we were all going to finish equal and level and I had this great sense of fair play - everybody to be equal again. Let us continue, and we'll give you for the last one in this particular game, Clement Freud, a rather clever and unusual subject at least I think you can all make it this way. It's the subject of silence and I'd like you to start now. BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo you've had the... DN: Well, the illustration was too long. NP: I think I will have to give you that, yes. DN: I mean, do you know, silence [pops mouth]. That's enough of it, and off you go. NP: What you really meant to say, Derek Nimmo, was hesitation. He gave silence... DN: Hesitation indeed, you know. NP: ... or repetition, yes, he repeated himself. DN: Deviation. He hadn't said a thing, you see. I mean... NP: All right. So you've gained a point and we'd like you to continue now Derek Nimmo with the subject of silence starting now. DN: I do like to have little quiet moments on my own. I go off into a corner of a little room, lock the door, and sit down by myself in silence. BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: Locking the door would make a noise. He's not talking about silence. DN: No it was just coming up. You've got to prepare it. NP: A very clever challenge. I will grant you that, Prunella Scales. Would you like to talk about silence, starting now. PS: Why do they say silence is golden? Silence seems to me to be sort of pale grey or possibly white. As long as it goes on for a long time, it could even become completely colourless, silence, and sort of umm... BUZZ NP: Andrée Melly. AM: Hesitation. NP: Hesitation. You've gained a point, and would you like to talk about silence. There are thirty-three seconds left, starting now. AM: I think it was Humpty Dumpty who said, "I've never heard such a silent silence in all my life." And I knew exactly what he meant because there are different degrees of silence. There's the - I think that absolute... BUZZ NP: Derek Nimmo. DN: Hesitation. NP: Hesitation it is, and Derek Nimmo you have a point and the subject back with you, silence, and start now. DN: It says in Ecclesiasteses chapter four, verse twelve. BUZZ NP: Prunella Scales. PS: It's "Ecclesiastes", not "Ecclesiasteses". DN: No it isn't. NP: It's got nothing to do with silence. The challenge... PS: Deviation. He can't be inaccurate, can he? NP: Yes, should I think so. You're - We're all very inaccurate on occasion. DN: It's "Ecclesiasteses" and "Ecclesiasticus". There are two books. NP: I think we'll leave it with you, Derek. Continue with Silence, starting now. DN: As it says in the particular book of the holy bible which I just mentioned, 'a threefold cord is not easily broken'. This is the sort of remark that one often makes... BUZZ NP: Clement Freud. CF: Hesitation. NP: To produce a silence. SHOUTS FROM THE AUDIENCE OF "NO". CF: Yes. DN: It's just my natural impediment, really. NP: The audience have very definite opinions. They are quite divided. I'll let you be the judges because - uh - do you think it was definite hesitation? If so, please clap. APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE NP: Not hesitation, please clap. APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE. NP: Five seconds left, the subject is still silence, still with Derek Nimmo, will you start now. DN: I go into my room and very quietly close the door and sit down alone in my corner... HOOTER NP: Well, that's very interesting. The silence took Derek into the lead. He's only one point ahead of Clement Freud and who is only one point ahead of Prunella Scales, who is two points ahead of Andrée Melly. And that is the way that this particular game finished up. So congratulations to all four. It was very very close. I'm sorry I couldn't make it square all round. Thank you very much to our four contestants. They all did terribly well. I thought they were all very clever this week and I hope you enjoyed the show. If you want tickets to come in the audience, please write in to the BBC, post office box 1A, London, West 1. If not, I hope you'll enjoy it next week when once again we'll be with you for Just A Minute. ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons. The programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by David Hatch. THEME MUSIC |
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