JAM:PMerton,THawks,GNorton,SPerkins
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, TONY HAWKS, GRAHAM NORTON and SUE PERKINS, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 22 February 2010)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners not only in this country but around the world. But also to welcome to the programme four dynamic diverse and delightful players of this game. And they are, seated on my right Paul Merton and Tony Hawks. And seated on my left, Graham Norton and Sue Perkins. Please welcome all four of them! As usual I am going to ask them to try and speak if they can on a subject I will give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Beside me sits Sarah Sharpe, who is going to help me with the score, and blow a whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the Radio Theatre, in the heart of Broadcasting House, which is in thre heart of the West One area of the great metropolis of London. It's all very dramatic, isn't it. Are you in the mood to start because Paul Merton is itching to get going and we'll give him the first subject. Paul, some strange facts about the people in this show. Will you talk about that, some strange facts about the people in this show, starting now.

PAUL MERTON: Just before this recording started, Nicholas Parsons informed the rest of the panel that he has got a job on television in the latest Miss Marple. He has been cast as a domestic cat! And he will be seen in the opening shots, climbing up a wall, licking his own... paws, and doing many things that we associate with the feline moggy of today. I also know that if you go to the Just A Minute website on the thing that is on...

BUZZ

NP: Tony you challenged.

TONY HAWKS: There was a bit of a hesitation.

NP: Yes there was a bit of a hesitation, so you have a correct challenge... who said no in the audience? So you have a correct challenge, you have a point for that of course, you take over the subject, there are 36 seconds, some strange facts about the people in this show.

TH: Whether you could call it strange or not, I don't know. But it is a fact certainly that Paul Merton, sitting on my right, I did a show with him at the Edinburgh Festival in the 80s, his surname was Martin at the time. That...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Graham Norton has challenged.

GRAHAM NORTON: That's not strange, no.

PM: That's not as strange as Nicholas getting the job of playing the part of a cat.

GN: No.

SUE PERKINS: No, or licking his own... paws.

GN: The bar was set very high Tony.

SP: Yeah yeah yeah.

GN: And really Merton for Martin wasn't going to hack it!

SP: If you'd said he had been abducted by aliens...

TH: It was the first, the first part of the strangeness.

SP: Oh okay. It's unfolding strangeness!

PM: Who knows what web of intrigue we were about to be led into!

GN: Curse you gods for making me stop him!

NP: I think you're trying to wriggle out of it now Tony. Because I agree with Graham, that wasn't a strange fact.

GN: No it wasn't, was it Nicholas.

NP: It happens to be a real fact, his first name.

SP: Just a fact.

NP: He was a Martin.

TH: Well I think real facts is the nature of facts, isn't it.

NP: That's not a strange one Tony, so...

PM: Has it not occurred to you Tony, why, after appearing with you in Edinburgh, I had to change my name!

SP: And your postal address!

TH: Well that was the strange, that's what I found so strange about it.

NP: Graham, a correct challenge, you have the subject, 24 seconds available, some strange facts about the people in this show starting now.

GN: Tony Hawks has one of the largest poncho collections outside of Mexico. Although it is a little-known fact that Fern Britton is currently stock-piling them and should soon out-do his...

BUZZ

NP: Paul you've challenged.

PM: Well we have wandered on to Fern Britton and unfortunately she's not on the show tonight. So it's ah...

NP: Oh yes.

GN: I love Nicholas, he goes "oh yes she's not"! That's right, she's not here.

SP: I was wondering how easy it was to wander across Fern Britton.

NP: I don't know what you're saying Sue, I think you...

SP: No! I just want the image out of my head Nicholas! And if anyone there can help me...

NP: Paul you had a correct challenge, you have 12 seconds, tell us more about some strange facts about the people in this show starting now.

PM: When I appeared with Tony Hawks at the Edinburgh Festival, he didn't work under that name, no. He was then known as Lady... oh I can't say that because...

BUZZ

NP: Sue you challenged.

SP: Um he was self-editing, he was going...

PM: I was going to say Lady Gaga and I suddenly realised that was going to be repetition.

SP: Yeah.

PM: So I didn't say it.

NP: So what's your challenge?

SP: Basically he was ah, embarking upon something that would inevitably have become hesitation. But also steering, clearly, clearly, that was inevitable from the slowing down of the delivery Nicholas, plus, plus, I am of Romany stock and there's a slight...

NP: Are you going for, are you going for hesitation?

SP: ... and there's a slight psychic awareness, yes I am.

NP: Darling, we don't want a whole diatribe, are you going for hesitation.

SP: Yes.

NP: Yes because he did slip up like that.

SP: Yeah. He did Nicholas.

NP: We interpret, and I want to hear from everybody on this...

SP: You're a sweet fox.

NP: You've got five seconds...

GN: Ooohh errr!

NP: ... on some strange facts about the people in this show, Sue starting now.

SP: Nicholas Parsons is a clone! Every three-three years a new version...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: There is only one Nicholas Parsons! In the universe as we know it

SP: (unintelligible) the chairman...

PM: When he was made they broke the mould and they knew what they were doing!

NP: Anyway that was strange stuff we just had then. I don't know how to judge on it, but all right Paul, benefit of the doubt, two seconds starting now.

PM: Graham Norton's got a wife and three kids!

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Paul Merton so he's in a strong lead. Well not a strong lead, he's got two more points than anybody else in the show, that's all. Graham would you take the next round or start the next round. Oh gosh, good fun for this show, bluffing. Can you tell us something about bluffing in this game starting now.

GN: Bluffing is normally performed by a professional bluffer. Now I don't know an awful lot about it and frankly I'm a little surprised they have asked me to talk on this subject on Just A Minute. But since they have, so I will! Bluffing, there, I have said it again is...

BUZZ

NP: Sue you challenged.

SP: Hesitation.

NP: No he was going, he might have been going at his own pace but it was utterly, utterly consistent. And he didn't hesitate. So you have the benefit of the doubt and Graham, you've still got bluffing and you have 44 seconds starting now.

GN: Bluffing is when someone talks about something they don't really know about. Often it sounds quite like this to be perfectly honest with you! And yet I ramble on! Bluffing is I suppose something to do with...

BUZZ

NP: Tony it was your light came on.

TH: Well I don't think he did in the end. I was certain that he was going to hesitate because I knew that he had nothing else to say on this subject! And yet somehow he trawled a sentence out.

NP: Yes yes.

TH: So I think he hung in there. I'm almost adjudicating on his behalf.

NP: You have, well you've said what I would have said, so there we are, 33 seconds Graham, still with you, another point, bluffing starting now.

GN: Bluffing is fantastic...

BUZZ

NP: Sue challenged.

SP: The phrase "bluffing is" has been repeated four times. Does that count as repetition?

GN: Whoa!

TH: It's a shame, you had so much to tell us on that!

NP: Sue you had a correct challenge, 31 seconds, bluffing starting now.

SP: Bluffing is a form of improvisation, unless one does it naked, in which case it is in the buff bluffing. I do it all the time. Nothing excites me more than stripping down to my bare essentials and speaking candidly on a subject about which I know nothing. And this may well be the ideal topic. It's often done at dinner parties, surrounded by people you've never met...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: What? Stripping naked? I've been invited to the wrong dinner parties!

NP: So what's your challenge within the rules of...

TH: Well deviation. It's not often done at dinner parties.

SP: Bluffing?

NP: Well I think she was conveying that bluffing is not often done at dinner parties. I imagine that a lot of bluffing does go on at dinner parties.

PM: Yeah.

NP: But it's not, not obvious bluffing. No I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt so you still keep the subject and you have 10 seconds, bluffing starting now.

SP: It's a very important way of fitting in. We're not like chameleons in a literal sense, we can't change the colour of our skin. But we can in many senses blend in to fit our environment. This is best done through bluffing...

WHISTLE

NP: So Sue Perkins was then speaking as the whistle went. And with other points in the round she has now taken the lead, ahead of Paul Merton, Graham Norton and Tony Hawks in that, no, all three equal together in second place. Right Sue would you begin the next round, and we have 60 seconds as usual and the subject is how to pick a good lodger. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

SP: I have picked the best lodger in the world. His name is Roger which is excellent because it rhymes. Also he suffers from OCD. I don't wish to mock the afflictions of those who have an obsessive compulsive disorder but boy, they are tidy!

BUZZ

NP: Graham Norton challenged.

GN: It's sort of repetition, isn't it.

NP: What?

GN: OCD!

NP: It's a very clever challenge...

GN: I thank you, I thought it was too!

NP: So I think it deserves a bonus point for a clever challenge. It is repetition of words, and she didn't repeat any words.

GN: Yes I...

NP: She still keeps the subject, gets a point for being interrupted, 47 seconds still on how to pick a good lodger, Sue starting now.

SP: This means he will clean every single work surface, every inch, crevice, crack...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: Ah repetition of every.

NP: Yes there were two everys. Every...

SP: Then I must fall on my own sword. And you may have the topic, Lord Hawks.

NP: You have 42 seconds, tell us something about how to pick a good lodger starting now.

TH: I always think a written examination is the best thing. Sit them down, make them tearful, frighten them as much as you can because it's such an important choice you are going to make. You will be living with them. "No mistakes on geography, otherwise you are out" is what I would say in this situation, and have done in the past. I'll...

BUZZ

NP: Sue challenged.

SP: Is geography and a knowledge thereof important in a lodger? If so, great. If not, deviation.

TH: They've got to know where the bathroom is!

NP: Maybe in Tony's world, it's important.

SP: Yes.

NP: We don't know, and he's entitled to say it within the rules of Just A Minute. So an incorrect challenge Tony, keep the subject, 22 seconds, how to pick a good lodger starting now.

TH: You could get them to tell you a story and pick holes in it. This would be in a way...

BUZZ

TH: What are you laughing at?

PM: This is nonsense!

TH: No it's not! No it's not!

PM: Get them to tell you a story!

TH: No it's good! No it's good!

SP: You sound like Jackanory meets a serial killer!

TH: It's good, because it's nonsense within the rules of Just A Minute.

PM: You drug them and strip them naked and leave them in Epping Forest, and if they find their own way, give them the room!

SP: Sixty quid a week plus bills!

PM: Yeah.

SP: Know your own way home!

TH: I can't believe I was buzzed! I was going so well!

NP: You were going well and I gave you the benefit of the doubt on the last challenge. But I'm going to give it to Paul this time against you, because I don't think that is a good way to pick a good lodger! And so Paul, I agree with you, you have 15 seconds on the subject starting now.

PM: Xrays! It's the only language they understand! Get them up against a machine, see what the inside of their body's like!

BUZZ

PM: You're not staying in this house with that liver!

NP: Sue you challenged.

SP: Hesitation.

NP: Yes he dried himself up there, right. And well he could. It's odd when people laugh at their own jokes, isn't it.

PM: Yes I was hoping to start a trend!

NP: Nine seconds Sue, how to pick a good lodger starting now.

SP: Waterboarding and attack dogs is the only thing they really know about. Boy will they respond! There's nothing like the bared teeth of an Alsatian coming towards you to really strip bare...

WHISTLE

NP: Once again Sue Perkins was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. She's now in the lead, ahead of Paul Merton, Graham Norton and Tony Hawks in that order. And Tony we'd like you to begin the next round, the subject is starters. Tell us something about starters in this game starting now.

TH: The annoying thing about starters is you very often go out to a restaurant with some friends. Perhaps you're not very hungry, nor are the big group. And one person says "I want starters" when you were hoping just to have the main course and race on to a delicious pudding. You have to sit around and chat whilst they eat their prawn cocktail. So annoying it will drive you...

BUZZ

NP: Graham challenged.

GN: Repetition of annoying.

NP: Yes.

TH: Right at the beginning, I said it.

NP: Right at the beginning...

TH: And then again.

NP: ... and then again and that is repetition.

TH: It is! He did...

NP: Graham was listening well so he's come in there with 37 seconds on starters Graham starting now.

GN: Starters are pointless! Why not just have a bigger dinner and then rule it out. Because really, that's what it is. It's like a tiny dining thing that you would have before the larger one later...

BUZZ

NP: Sue you challenged.

SP: Slowing, hesitation.

NP: No no, again he was going moderately slowly...

GN: Nothing wrong with that, Sue, I don't think!

TH: Yeah and don't interrupt him when we are going to learn so much!

SP: I want to hear about the smaller littler dining thing!

NP: No I mean he very cleverly slowed the pace down but he didn't actually hesitate.

PM: No.

NP: So Graham, it's still with you, starters, 25 seconds starting now.

GN: Smoked mackerel pate with toast was the last starter I had. On Saturday it was, I remember it well. Let me paint you a visual picture of that day! It was near...

BUZZ

NP: Tony you've challenged.

TH: I think a repetition of day.

NP: No. No.

TH: No?

NP: Good try.

TH: Saturday and day.

SP: Yeah.

TH: But they're different words.

SP: Yeah! Does that mean we get to hear more about that pate? I don't know about you, ladies and gentlemen...

NP: He did start off by saying last Saturday.

TH: Yes.

NP: But Saturday is a different word.

TH: It sounded like it but it's two words.

NP: Yes.

TH: So I was a fool to myself and my family.

NP: Yes but it doesn't really matter. Graham's happy, he gets another point for an incorrect challenge, 14 seconds available, starting now.

GN: Smoked fishes are very good for you...

BUZZ

NP: Sue challenged.

GN: Oh!

SP: Repetition of smoked.

GN: What have I done!

SP: Now we'll never know about that pate!

NP: You can see the passion this show engenders! You know, he's just been challenged and he's lost the subject, you'd think he'd been stabbed in the back! Anyway Sue, give me your challenge.

SP: It was a repetition of smoked.

NP: Absolutely right, 13 seconds, starters Sue, starting now.

SP: Starters remind me of the pointlessness of scallops, served inevitably on a slurry of peas...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: You wouldn't say that if you were another scallop.

SP: No. It depends on your perspective.

PM: Yes exactly. If you were a scallop, Nicholas, and let's face it, it's not far...

SP: A minute ago you said he was unique!

PM: Yeah!

GN: Scallop Man is!

NP: I'd like to know, why, when he made that remark about me being like a scallop, did you applaud? What's your challenge, love?

PM: I think um, no, it's not really a challenge. I think it's deviation saying a scallop, whatever Sue said.

NP: I don't think it was sufficiently good to...

PM: I don't think it was either, no.

NP: So Sue you're still with starters, seven seconds starting now.

SP: Starters...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yes!

BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

SP: Yes you will now rise as one!

GN: Sitting beside her, I thought I'd gone deaf!

NP: Paul, correct challenge, six seconds, starters starting now.

PM: Smoked salmon parcels wrapped in filo pastry. As I look at them...

WHISTLE

NP: Right so Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. But Sue Perkins is still in the lead, she's two ahead of Graham Norton, three ahead of Paul Merton, and four ahead of Tony Hawks. In that order, if you're interested in the points. Paul we're back with you, would you begin the next round, whistling down the wind. What an interesting subject. Tell us something about it in this game starting now.

PM: Severe flatulence is a curse, and if you can turn it into a musical, good luck to you. Whistle Down The Wind was a film made by, I think it was in fact Hayley Mills's first picture. And she played the part of a young girl who comes across this rather disreputable tramp that was hiding in the barn. And that role was essayed by the fine actor, Alan Bates. And it was considered a remarkable piece of British film-making...

BUZZ

NP: Sue's challenged.

SP: Repetition of film?

NP: Yes.

PM: Film-making.

NP: Film-making, oh yes, film and film-making.

PM: Film and film-making.

NP: So Paul, an incorrect challenge, we are still with you on whistling down the wind, and 35 seconds starting now.

PM: It's an old country term that you hear in rural parts. When the wind is high, then never be fly. If the wind is slow...

BUZZ

SP: That painted a vivid pastural scene!

NP: I must say Paul, from the look on your face, you thought, I've started on this, but how the heck can I keep going!

PM: Exactly! That's exactly it!

NP: Yeah Tony you challenged.

TH: Well was it hesitation?

NP: It was a hesitation yes.

TH: Ah!

NP: Whistling down the wind is with you Tony, 24 seconds starting now.

TH: Whenever I go out and there is a gale blowing, and let's face it, this winter there has been a few occasions, I like whistling down the wind. Not against it, that would be foolish. The musical note I had emitted would blow back in my face. I wouldn't know that, knowing how unmusical I can be...

BUZZ

NP: Sue challenged.

SP: Repetition of musical.

NP: Yes, musical.

TH: Unmusical.

PM: Unmusical the second time.

NP: Was it unmusical?

GN: Unmusical.

NP: So an incorrect challenge, Tony you still have the subject, eight seconds, whistling down the wind starting now.

TH: I remember the film that Paul Merton spoke of earlier, Whistling Down The...

BUZZ

NP: Graham challenged.

GN: Well now, see, I meant to, I meant to ah interrupt earlier on Paul, because we are now talking about Whistle Down The Wind.

TH: Oh yes! But I...

GN: And the subject is whistling down the wind.

NP: Whistling. Well done, well listened.

TH: You would have been right if you'd buzzed Paul after he had done it for about 35 seconds.

GN: Yeah.

TH: I was going to go on, how in this...

GN: I was just about to and then you, well you know what happened.

NP: It came to him as you were talking which is...

TH: But I hadn't had long enough to be able to, I could have gone on to, seconds later...

NP: Everybody can say that in this game.

TH: Shall we all do it together, all in time?

SP: Yes.

NP: It was a correct challenge.

GN: Was it?

NP: It's whistling down the wind and he used the word whistle twice. Right so there are four seconds for whistling down the wind, with you Graham, starting now.

GN: Whistling down the wind is in no way a film of that name...

WHISTLE

NP: Graham...

GN: Yes?

NP: An extra point for speaking when the whistle went, you're now equal with Sue Perkins in the lead.

GN: Oh!

NP: And very closely followed by Paul Merton and Tony Hawks in that order. And Graham we are back with you to begin, a eureka moment. Sixty seconds as usual starting now.

GN: A eureka moment is of course not to be confused with an Ulrika moment where you pop out for a pint of milk and come back with a new husband. Sometimes a baby. A eureka moment is usually a fabulous idea that strikes you when you are in the bath. Probably, oh the water's cold. Or I've just remembered what towels are for. Those are the sorts of things that would get you out of the ye olde tub that you have been in for some time. Somewhere back in the mists of my education, truly I did have one, what a waste! I think my parents paid for some of it! I think a eureka moment is about displacement of water or leaking on a downstairs neighbour. One or tother, I can't be exactly precise about that...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: I think there was a hesitation there. I think a fumbling of words.

NP: I don't think there was a hesitation.

GN: So many words! Not a minute yet? So many words! I say so many!

NP: He did hesitate before, he was going faster and slower, you know, trying to pace the thing so...

TH: Yeah well that was all covered by that challenge.

NP: No no no.

TH: I'm giving him a chance, I let him build up a bit!

NP: At that particular moment that you challenged, he wasn't hesitating. So Graham you still have the subject and 17 seconds and you start now.

GN: Eureka is foreign for I've got it. By George, possibly. I think maybe the other thing I said was colloquial...

BUZZ

NP: Sue challenged.

SP: Slight hesitation there.

NP: I think maybe there was then, yes. So Sue you've got in with 10 seconds to go, a eureka moment...

GN: Can I just say I am so impressed I knew that much about eureka moments!

TH: Which language? Which language was it then?

GN: Greek.

NP: Greek, foreign, Greek.

GN: I wasn't sure whether it was Greek or not, that's why I went with foreign. I knew I was on safe ground there.

NP: Eureka, I have it, you knew that bit anyway.

GN: Yes!

NP: Yes yes I thought you'd studied Greek at school or something.

GN: No!

NP: A eureka monent Sue, 10 seconds starting now.

SP: I have had many epiphanies whilst being in the bath. Namely, what's that toaster doing there? Now is not the time for muffins! I think it was Archimedes lying there in the water...

WHISTLE

NP: Yes Archimedes came in and he who said eureka, that's right. But that was because the water was cold. Now um Sue an extra point for speaking as the whistle went. And you're now in the lead, one ahead of Graham, three ahead of Paul, four ahead of Tony in that order. And we're back with you to begin Sue, and the subject now is vitamins or as some people used to say vie-tamins which is a correct pronunciation because it comes from the word vitality. That's the Latin you see.

GN: Eureka!

SP: Right.

NP: Eureka! You take it whatever way you like because the modern phraseology is vitamins and there are 60 seconds as usual starting now.

SP: Vitamins are sold in health food stores by people who look like they are less than three seconds away from death. Pallid, grey, lined they are. Yet they proffer these unguents in bottles which promise the elixir of life itself. Vitamins come in many shapes and sizes, A, B, C, D, E and K...

BUZZ

SP: What happened?

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: Well are there technically different shapes and sizes, they're just...

SP: Yes!

TH: ... you know, they're just vitamins, aren't there?

SP: Yes! Vegecaps, round...

NP: No no, the capsules that you take come in all different shapes and sizes. I think that's what she was referring to. She has the benefit of the doubt, you keep the subject, you still have vitamins and you have 39 seconds Sue starting now.

SP: What happened to vitamins F, G, H, J and I?

BUZZ

NP: Graham challenged.

GN: They're not vitamins.

SP: Prove it! Prove it to me, young buck!

GN: No! Deviation I say.

NP: I think de, I agree with you but someone is bound to write in and now say there is a Vitamin G or something.

GN: Yes, who cares?

NP: Anyway I'm going to give it...

SP: You've lost none of your touch with your public!

NP: Anyway Graham, you've got the subject, 34 seconds, vitamins starting now.

GN: I'm feeling a little bit poorly, so in fact I am chucking vitamins down me. Not quite as I speak obviously because you'd hear a strange rattling sound as I hit my teeth. But in me at the moment is econatia and I'm suddenly thinking is that a vitamin? Maybe it isn't...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: No it's not a vitamin. It's not a vitamin.

GN: No! This subject's harder than it seems!

PM: Deviation.

NP: There are vitamins in it but it's not a vitamin.

GN: Okay.

NP: Right so Paul you had a correct challenge, 19 seconds starting now.

PM: How do we pronounce the word? Vitamins, vie-tamins, vitamin, vie-tamin, vie-tamins, vitamins...

BUZZ

PM: What have I said? What happened then?

NP: Sue you challenged.

SP: I have fallen into a trap, because I am an idiot. There is no repetition, it's merely clever man saying the same word but in a slightly different way. Goodbye everyone, you'll never hear from me again.

NP: So Paul you still have the subject and you have 11 seconds, vitamins starting now.

PM: Well of course, when you really look at the subject inside out, it's very clear that this must be our watchword. Vitamins are good, we must consume them...

WHISTLE

NP: So Paul Merton was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. He's moved forward, he's now in third place but only one behind Graham Norton, and he's only one behind Sue Perkins. They're all a few ahead of Tony Hawks as we go into the final round. And Paul Merton it is your turn to begin and the subject now is being wise after the event. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

PM: After Eric Morecambe died in 1984, Ernie had a choice, whether he would carry on as a single act or instead keep up the memory of the magnificent duo they had been. He in fact lived long enough to see that they were lauded as perhaps the greatest double act that this country has ever produced. Certainly in television terms. I know that he appeared on the West End stage in a musical based on the Charles Dickens novel The Mystery Of Edwin Brood. And he was always a cheerful exponent on Countdown and various other panel games and also talk shows. It's wonderful when you look at how good those two worked together because often the straight man isn't given the full credit for the sheer success they enjoyed for so many years. It's very important as a comedian to know that you are sharing the stage with somebody who not only understands the comedy inside out but also remembers a lot of the lines because...

BUZZ

NP: Oh! Tony you challenged.

TH: Was there a slight stumble which we call hesitation?

NP: No there wasn't. There was a repetition but it's too late now. I thought it was the repetition you were going for. It's too late now, you can't...

GN: Now you're wise after the event!

NP: There wasn't a hesitation so Paul you've still got the subject, being wise after the event, seven seconds starting now.

PM: I remember the first firework party I went to and if I knew then what I know now then it would have been a whole...

WHISTLE

NP: So Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. Let me give you the final situation. Tony Hawks who did so well and we enjoyed his performance so much, he didn't come ahead of the others. Sue Perkins who was in the lead for a long time and finished up with a lot of points, but didn't quite finish up with ahead, or her head in front of the other two.

SP: Later on, we'll see.

NP: Paul Merton who excels at the show, did very well with a final flourish. But it did leave him one point, just one point behind the other fourth member of this team up here. And therefore he is the winner this week, Graham Norton. So it only remains for me to say thank you to these fine players of the game, Paul Merton, Tony Hawks, Graham Norton and Sue Perkins. I thank Sarah Sharpe, who has helped me with the score, blown her whistle so elegantly. We thank our producer Claire Jones. We are indebted to Ian Messiter who created this amazing game. And we are indebted to this lovely audience here in Broadcasting House, in the Radio Theatre. From our audience here, from me Nicholas Parsons, from the team, thank you, and don't forget listeners, tune in the next time we play Just A Minute! Yes!

THEME MUSIC