NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!


NP: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more, it is my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners not only in this country, but around the world. But also to welcome to the programme four talented, dynamic, diverse personalities who are going to show their skill with words and language as they try and speak on a subject I give them, and they do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And those four stalwart characters are seated on my right, Paul Merton and Charles Collingwood. And seated on my left, Jenny Eclair and Stephen Fry. Please welcome all four of them! Thank you, thank you. Seated beside me is Sarah Sharpe, who is going to help me keep the score, and blow a whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the Radio Theatre in the heart of Broadcasting House. And let's begin the show this week with Paul Merton. What a lovely subject to begin a show with, my idea of bliss. Paul, 60 seconds if you want them, starting now.

PAUL MERTON: Let us enjoy the pure silence that is bliss.


NP: Charles you've challenged right away.


NP: There was a hesitation.

PM: Only if I started again would it be hesitation.

NP: Why?

PM: Full stop. It was meant to be blissful.

CC: It was, it was divine. And I feel bad about it.

NP: No I wouldn't, I wouldn't feel bad because those are the rules of the game Charles.

CC: Thank you.

NP: And so you have a point for a correct challenge, you take over the subject which is my idea of bliss, and you have 56 seconds starting now.

CC: My idea of bliss is taking my clothes off and getting into my warm bathroom. And in the soapy suds, lying back for at least 45 minutes. And during that time, my wife coming to the door, knocking and entering with a large gin and tonic, placing it by my side, and saying "give me a shout when you are ready for me to dry you, darling, won't you?" Unfortunately...


NP: Stephen challenged.

STEPHEN FRY: There was my darling wife, and darling won't you.

NP: Yes you see, the two...

JENNY ECLAIR: Double darling!

NP: Obviously Charles, when you think of her, you couldn't resist saying darling.

CC: I just call darling again yes.

NP: Yes yes.

JE: Only because you can't remember her name!

CC: I've got so many!

NP: Stephen, correct challenge, you have a point, you have 34 seconds and the subject is my idea of bliss.

SF: My idea of bliss is Sir Arthur Edward Drummond-Bliss who was master of the Queen's Music, made that, I think, in 1953. He was a composer of some note. I remember him best for his score of The Things To Come, a marvellous cordomovie of 1956, which is all one word, fortunately not a repetition. And he was succeeded by...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: I thought there was just a slight hesitation there, didn't you.

NP: There was a slight hesitation.

SF: Oh damn!

NP: You were so keen to tell us it wasn't a repetition, that you hesitated.

SF: Well I just suddenly thought that I had said 19 twice and I thought....

NP: I know, this is what happens in this game isn't it.

SF: Yes.

NP: It trips you up when you go. Paul you've come in, you've got the subject back again and there are 13 seconds available, my idea of bliss starting now.

PM: It is to be playing Just A Minute here in London, in front of a magnificent intelligent audience at Broadcasting House. That I am professionally associated with this show is a constant source of bliss to me. When I look around...


NP: Well they all got points in that round, except Jenny, but that doesn't matter, she is going to speak quite soon.

JE: I've got what?

NP: Paul got that extra one because in this game whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gets an extra point. So Paul's in a commanding lead at the end of the first round. He has two points, the others have one. Jenny Eclair will you begin the next round, the subject here is loyalty cards. Could you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

JE: I don't have any loyalty cards because I am a retail whore. That said, once when I was doing a radio programme in Notting Hill, I used to stop at a coffee shop, and they gave me a loyalty card. Every morning when I popped in for my latte, they'd stamp the card. And I was about to fill it up when I was sacked. Do you know, that was the price of loyalty! I was furious! Not just at the fact that I had been sacked from quite a lucrative job...


JE: Double sacking! Double sacking! And I haven't filled my loyalty card so no free latte! What a miserable experience!

NP: I know, but all the audience spotted the repetition and Stephen pressed his buzzer first.

SF: Oh I'm sorry.

JE: That's all right, that's the game, if you want to play it like that.

NP: Darling if we don't play it like that, there's going to be no fun at all, is there! Stephen, correct challenge, another point to you, 34 seconds available, loyalty cards starting now.

SF: Well they seem to abound these days, don't they. You know what's so good about Sainsbury's? Keeps the scum out of Waitrose! Anyway whenever I am shopping, they seem to present me with these extraordinary questions. Do you have a nectar card? No I don't, I never will have one, I don't want such a thing, in fact I have no idea what it is. Some kind of loyalty card I am told. I think the idea is the more you spend, the greater the amount of subsidiary goods you can earn thereby. This seems to be an ancient principle...


NP: On this occasion Stephen Fry was speaking when the whistle went, gained that extra point, he's now taken the lead ahead of Paul. And Charles Collingwood, will you begin the next round. I think I know why this subject has been chosen for you but we can all chat on it, the Battle of Trafalgar. Charles tell us something about that famous battle in this game starting now.

CC: As you all know, the Battle of Trafalgar was in 1805 and Nelson was in charge. Sadly he was dressed as a little strutting turkeycock, the Spaniards spied him, shot him. And after a little kiss from Hardy, Collingwood took over! And won the Battle of Trafalgar for the nation! And I am quite angry that out here not far from where we are sitting is a huge statue to the aforementioned Admiral instead of my...


CC: How dare anybody interrupt me! Who could it be? Was it you?

NP: The man sitting beside you, Paul Merton challenged you.

PM: Yes he said the aforementioned Admiral, yeah. Repetition of Admiral.

NP: Admiral, you mentioned Admiral Lord Nelson at the beginning.

CC: Are you sure?

PM: Yeah.

NP: Yes I'm sure.

CC: Okay.

NP: Darling, darling boy, we couldn't help but hear every word you said.

CC: Well it was important.

NP: I know, very important, but I don't think you've yet established that the reason you were going on about Collingwood is that you are related to him.

CC: Of course, of course, I mean they all, the world knows that.

NP: It wasn't just the name.

CC: No no no I'm so important...

NP: It's on the illegitimate side though!

CC: And the slightly not frightfully bright side.

NP: So Paul, a correct challenge, you have 34 seconds, the Battle of Trafalgar, Paul, 34 seconds starting now.

PM: Recent evidence shows that Collingwood was a French spy who...


NP: Charles you've challenged.

CC: That is deviation. It's absurd! There can be no way that Collingwood was a French spy! And you can tell by the reaction, Paul, from the audience that they're on my side now.

PM: It's a pity he wasn't! Recent evidence! At the British Library, recent evidence!

CC: It's getting a bit like Any Questions now, isn't it.

NP: No, it isn't, I mean, it's much funnier!

PM: That's not much of a recommendation though, is it.

NP: Charles I mean, we we we go with your passion about this...

PM: Yeah.

NP: ... but I mean he can say that he was a spy....

PM: Yeah.

NP: ... without having any evidence, he might go on to prove that he was. We don't...

CC: Do I get an extra point for sympathy then?

NP: No you don't.


PM: That's what you get for sympathy!

NP: I'll give you a point for passion!

CC: Thank you.

NP: Oh there we are.

PM: A point for passion?

CC: They're finding out about us now Nicholas!

NP: Right, there you are Paul, you have a correct challenge, 30 seconds are still available, the Battle of Trafalgar starting now.

PM: As they woke up on the morning of the Battle and looked out towards the sea, they could find several ships coming...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Well it was the Battle of Trafalgar, he said it was out at sea. It was in Trafalgar Square where they had the Battle, isn't it. Aha aha! Why is it called Trafalgar Square if they didn't fight in Trafalgar Square?

NP: Because it was named after the Battle of Trafalgar.

JE: In Trafalgar Square!

NP: They do have battles there now, but they're much more sort of...

JE: Saturday night with the boys and girls!

NP: That's right yes.

JE: On the alcopops!

NP: It was a lovely idea of yours Jenny...

JE: Yes! I was being ironic and not just stupid!

NP: We give you a bonus point because we enjoyed your interruption, all right. But Paul was interrupted...


NP: Thank you! And he gets a point for that and um, 23 seconds still available, the Battle of Trafalgar starting now.

PM: I can hear Charles making low grunting noises as somebody else actually takes on a subject that he wanted to speak about with the great passion...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Slight deviation because he is talking about Charles and not the Battle of Trafalgar.

PM: But Charles was talking about the subject, the Battle of Trafalgar.

NP: But he was talking about it. He made it quite clear, darling. He said he was talking about the Battle of Trafalgar with great passion. Which he was.

JE: All right.

NP: It was a good attempt but it was...


PM: Is there a gas leak?

NP: Paul, 16 seconds still available, the Battle of Trafalgar starting now.

PM: Smoke curled above the waves, each sailor looked into the eyes of each other and thought to themselves...


NP: Stephen.

SF: Each looked into the eyes of each other.

PM: Yeah.

NP: Yes.


NP: I don't know whether you're applauding the fact that Stephen spotted it, or you're mocking Paul for what he said. A very strange mixed reaction.

PM: I was painting a picture.

SF: Yeah you were.

NP: A wonderful picture actually, but it's an incorrect one in Just A Minute. So Stephen a correct challenge, 10 seconds are now available for you on the Battle of Trafalgar starting now.

SF: The 21st of October just after six o'clock or 1805 as it's better known is a day in the annals of British history...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Just after six o'clock isn't better known...

SF: As 1805?

PM: As 1805. It's not really, because it could be sort of 1801, 1802. But Nicholas...

SF: The Battle is better known as 1805.

NP: I think this is one of those difficult decisions one has to make. But logically you're right, aren't you.

PM: Of course I am.

NP: Yeah.

PM: Otherwise I wouldn't be wasting our time!

SF The date is just after six, or better known as... The date of the Battle of Trafalgar is definitely better known as 1805.

NP: Yes, better known than 1805 which is the time on the 24 hour clock.

SF: Yeah yeah.

NP: Stephen you were, incorrect challenge, you keep the subject...

SF: Oh thank you very much.

NP: Battle of Trafalgar, three seconds starting now.

SF: A little touch of Nelson can never do any harm to a nation's reputation.


NP: Right so at the end of that round Paul and Stephen both got points, Stephen for speaking as the whistle went. And they are now equal in the lead, just ahead of Charles Collingwood and Jenny Eclair. And Stephen it's your turn to begin, the subject here, I'm sure it has been chosen for you because it's, well it's been chosen because it's a challenge to any of them in this game, infinity.

SF: Oh my Lord!

NP: Infinity. There's a deathly hush as Stephen starts to talk on the subject of infinity beginning now.

SF: Well infinity isn't so much a substance or an object or a fact or a theory so much as a...


NP: Charles challenged.

CC: Lots of ors.

SF: Oh!

NP: Oh yes.

SF: It was a sort of rhetorical...

CC: They were almost going to infinity.

SF: Aren't you allowed to do little words?

NP: No no no no.

CC: Not all at the same time.

JE: Not seven times.

SF: Oh okay.

NP: No, not three or four times.

SF: Can I count his thes?

NP: Yes.

SF: Can I? Are you giving me permission to count how many times he says the when he wins the challenge?

NP: If you manage to do that yes.

SF: Okay.

NP: Right.

SF: You'll join me audience?

JE: It's all getting a bit ugly!

NP: But one does have to use some discretion and some creative intelligence about it. So right, but three successive ors like that I mean...

JE: You stuck your oar in!

NP: And who challenged for ors yes, it was Charles Collingwood, infinity is with you now Charles, 56 seconds starting now.

CC: This is a very difficult subject to define. But surely we can all remember when we were at school, doing long division, and you would come to a sum which would never end. Somehow you felt it would and all day you would try to make it come...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Two woulds.

NP: Two woulds.

SF: Yeah yeah.

NP: Infinity...

CC: At least it wasn't Stephen counting the thes!

NP: Jenny, infinity is now with you and there are 41 seconds starting now.

JE: To infinity and beyond, said Buzz Lightchere in the children's film Toy Story, and became the most popular children's gift that year...


JE: Children and children.

NP: Stephen you got in there on the children and so you have 31 seconds, infinity, back with you Stephen starting now.

SF: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by Charles Collingwood, infinity is essentially a concept, a notion. It has no real meaning as such. However the great mathematician Srinivasa Ramanujan who came from Tamil Nadu and had a great collaboration with JH Hardy of course in the early part of the last century wrote on convergent infinite series, one of the most astounding and interesting... series of...


NP: Jenny. She got back at you! So Jenny let's hear what it was.

JE: He hesitated.

SF: I did.

NP: He did hesitate.

SF: I so did, I so did.

NP: He repeated something as well, I thought you were going for that. Doesn't matter, it's seven seconds, you have a correct challenge, you have a point, you have infinity starting now.

JE: I do love an infinity pool. They always say in the brochures "swim in these crystal waters and as your thighs..."


NP: So Jenny Eclair was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. She's leapt forward, she's still in third place, but she's leapt. She's only one point behind Paul, shé's two points behind Stephen. And she's two points ahead of Charles, that's the situation. You couldn't really care less, could you? Paul Merton we're back with you to begin and the subject is party games. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

PM: We used to play party games when I was growing up in the family. One was blind man's buff and I...


CC: Sorry.

NP: Why did you?

CC: I just thought he was talking rubbish and he wasn't! And because I'm getting old my little finger twitched!

PM: I had a Road to Damascus moment when suddenly I stopped talking rubbish! It all became crystal clear!

SF: It's usually such a safe bet!

CC: Pretend it's never happened.

SF: Yeah.

NP: And that was an incorrect challenge and Paul has a point of course, and he has 55 seconds still on party games starting now.

PM: The idea, once you were blinded, to walk around and find where other people were staying. Sometimes they were as far away as Lowestoft which without public transport would mean you would have to take an awful long time to get there. I remember once when my parents, who had a mean streak, decided to road map my way to Aberdeen...


NP: Stephen challenged.

SF: There was two ways.

NP: That's right.

PM: Yes it didn't make any sense at all, I think. Having sort of won the challenge off Charles last time, nobody wanted to call me on it.

NP: Right so correct challenge Stephen, 34 seconds available, party games with you Stephen starting now.

SF: I suppose liberal sardines, conservative pin the tail on the donkey...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Was there a hesitation?

NP: There was...

SF: There was really, wasn't there, I was sort of gathering my thoughts and I left too long a space between words. Which sometimes seems to be a hesitation. But actually depends on the way you listen. Still there you go.

NP: Paul correct challenge, 30 seconds available, party games starting now.

PM: When Harold Wilson became leader of the Labour Party in the early 1960s, there was much joshing for position. There were people like, for example, I can't really think of any of them!


PM: What a bizarre approach to the subject! I had no interest in that subject at all! Why on earth did I...

NP: Oh they must have been so memorable! Stephen you challenged first, hesitation, we all recognised it. Party games with you, 20 seconds starting now.

SF: Hide and seek, not one of his better known symphonies, dedicated to Amritsar I suppose. That's a game, of course, isn't it, played by children, commonly in country houses where one child goes off to conceal themselves in a small area, niche or alcove...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Did you say that hide and seek was commonly carried out in country houses?

SF: No. Isn't it?

PM: It's played in other places as well.

SF: No but it's commonly done there too. I didn't say only in country houses.

PM: Oh I see, I misunderstood.

NP: They they didn't say only, he did say commonly played.

PM: No.

NP: It is commonly played there but not only.

PM: Is it?

NP: Yes.

SF: Yeah.

PM: It's not as much fun in a bedsit now I think about it!

SF: No! There's got to be room, hasn't there.

PM: It's either the wardrobe or under the bed!

NP: I mean that was what was in his mind obviously, there's more space in a...

PM: Yeah absolutely!

NP: ... in a country house. I mean no, it wasn't, I must be fair, it was an incorrect challenge, and six seconds still with you Stephen, party games starting now.

SF: Another pastime often pursued in rural seats is Moriarty...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Rural, two rurals.

SF: No I didn't say rural before.

NP: No no, he said country before.

JE: No, as I said it, I knew I was wrong, I'm really sorry! I just really wanted to tell some stories about when I used to play party games.

NP: Let Stephen finish...

JE: Yeah all right.

NP: We'll have your party games afterwards. An incorrect challenge, two seconds to go, party games Stephen starting now.

SF: Someone is it and another person...


NP: So Stephen was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, he's increased his lead over Paul Merton and the other two. And Jenny what was your party game story?

JE: It's just that my Mum used to think a really good party game was the tray game. Do you remember that? And it was kind of, a bit like being at school.

SF: Oh memory.

JE: Yeah a memory thing. She'd come in with a tray with stuff loaded up on the tray and you had to remember what it was.

SF: Pelmonism they sometimes call it.

NP: It was called pelmonism.

SF: Pelmonism yeah.

JE: It was really hard! I used to...

SF: Yes.

JE: What kind of party is this? This is a rubbish game! It's the kind of game you'd enjoy and probably win!

SF: Yes!

JE: You'd be the boy who goes "let's play pelmonism! Let's play pelmonism!"

SF: Yeah! Because I am a joyless mirthless person who finds no pleasure in life or other people, Jenny, as you've rightly spotted.

NP: I think the concept was taken over when they did Beat The Clock and all those things past...

PM: Yes absolutely, The Generation Game.

SF: The Generation Game!

JE: The Generation Game!

NP: The Generation Game! Yes thank you for correcting me there, yes it was another game.

SF: Same man! It was Brucie, both Brucie.

NP: They were both Brucie yes.

PM: (in Bruce Forsyth voice) Good game! Good game!

NP: Oh this is another subject that has got a connection with the last subject actually...

PM: Yes?

NP: It's tagging so Jenny Eclair, we'd like you to begin on this one. Tell us something about tagging in Just A Minute tagging starting now.

JE: Well tagging can be something that graffiti artists do when they scribble on walls and think it's art. I think it's absolute vandalism, they should be beaten...


NP: Stephen challenged.

SF: Sorry, when they think it's art, I think.

NP: Yes there were too many I thinks.

SF: Next to each other.

JE: They were next to other.

SF: And my thumb, I... oh I feel such a bully, I feel so...

NP: Fifty-four seconds for you Stephen...

JE: I'll get it back!

NP: ... on tagging starting now.

SF: There's geotagging, RFI tagging. The tagging of prisoners has become more popular and I would say controversial too. My favourite sort is metadata tagging which is used in computers. I agree many people would find it rather unpleasant, uninteresting, dull, tedious, banal. However for me it represents a whole new universe of concepts that are available with computerised databases. It's possible to have...


NP: Paul's challenged.

SF: What did I do?

NP: I'm fascinated to know your challenge Paul.

PM: Did he repeat syrup of figs? I thought we had repetition of data.

NP: Yes there was data.

SF: Did I say it twice?

NP: Oh yes. No no no.

SF: All right.

NP: No he didn't say it twice.

PM: He didn't say it twice? No.

NP: He avoided nearly every other word but he didn't. But I agree with you, it was a bit of a syrup of figs, wasn't it. But Stephen you were interrupted so you get a point for that, you continue with tagging, 28 seconds starting now.

SF: Is memory playing false or was there on Saturday evenings on ITV some kind of wrestling which involved tagging? Two teams, one would touch the other, leap into the ring, there'd be that pre-arranged...


NP: Um Charles challenged.

CC: Were there two rings.

NP: Yes.

SF: Were there?

PM: I don't know, wrestling.

NP: No wrestling, wrestling. No no no no no. They're trying very hard aren't they yes. Yes it was called a tag match actually Stephen, you're quite right.

SF: Yeah.

NP: And it's when you had two different teams where only two players, two wrestlers were in the ring at the same time...

SF: Oh at one time.

NP: And then one would come in and tag him and he'd leap in and take over.

SF: Right.

NP: And it's a great, it's a great version of...

PM: Do you still miss those days? You and Mrs Mills, do you miss those days?

JE: Oh dear!

NP: Right, so was that your challenge then?

PM: No I don't think it was...

NP: No it was Charles, wasn't it.

PM: It was Charles.

CC: It was me and I think I was right, wasn't I!

SF: No you weren't!

CC: It's such a long time ago, I'm sure you might have forgotten!

NP: I do remember, you challenged him for repetition of the word ring.

PM: Yeah.

NP: And he didn't repeat the word ring.

CC: You are so good at this!

NP: I've got to keep concentrating all the time.

CC: You are so brilliant, Nicholas Parsons!

NP: Oh keep it up Charles, you'll get a bonus point.

CC: Give us a few points, I'm going on.

NP: Seventeen seconds, still with you Stephen, tagging starting now.

SF: Another popular and contemporary form of tagging involves...


NP: Charles.

CC: Surely that con-um-temporary!

NP: I think we give you the benefit of the doubt.

CC: Oh smashing.

NP: He was and we say yes it could be interpreted as hesitation...

CC: Come on!

NP: And Charles you have a point and you have tagging, 15 seconds, starting now.

CC: Tagging was the game we used to play at Christmas in my house. You would put a label on someone's back and then you would run round our vast country estate, trying to pull the tag off. It was ah a pastime...


PM: Hesitation I'm afraid.

NP: Yes it was so Paul you've got in with one second to go...

SF: Oh what a... what a..

PM: I can make it seem longer!

NP: You've gained the point but not the sympathy of the audience, but those are the rules of Just A Minute, audience. So there we are, Paul, another point to you, one second, tagging starting now.

PM: There's a brick wall...


NP: Right so at the end of that round Paul Merton was speaking as the whistle went, gained an extra point, he's creeping up on Stephen who is still in the lead. And they're a few points ahead of Jenny Eclair and Charles Collingwood as we begin the final round. And Stephen it's actually your turn to begin. And what a lovely subject! Let's see if we can end in a beautiful way and talk about the subject of beauty.

SF: Oh!

NP: Starting now.

SF: A thing of beauty is an object of truth and a joy forever. So said the poet John Keats, or words to that effect, without the kind of repetition that I would have to use in order properly to cite him. Beauty is a platonic form, a paradigm. It can't actually exist according to that Greek philosopher. However we see the beautiful all around us if not its abstract manifestation. There are forms in which...


NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Forms twice

SF: No it was a platonic form and then forms.

JE: Oh God you're difficult!

NP: You see Stephen, Stephen does actually listen to what he is saying.

JE: I'm listening but I'm struggling!

CC: He's making my buzzer... I've gone all clammy!

JE: I've sweaty palms!

CC: Have you got a clammy buzzer?

JE: Yes!

CC: I have! Is your buzzer clammy?

NP: But darling, you're still contributing and that's what's so lovely. Stephen an incorrect challenge, it was form and forms, 30 seconds, beauty starting now.

SF: La Belle a Labette, we've always been slightly obsessed with beauty and its pursuit. Kenneth Tynan described it as the awful privillege of beauty and so it is. To be born with beauty seems to me to be a kind of primal curse, for it blows away from...


NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Oh it's not that bad!


NP: So you know Paul, what I'm tempted to do, because the response to your remark was so astounding. I'm going to give you a bonus point for that...

SF: Way-hey! Quite right!

NP: And it is a subtle form of deviation so we give you the subject as well...


NP: Well it doesn't matter, it wasn't really, it wasn't a complete deviation but I'm actually playing the game now in the sense that we've only got five seconds to go and you you...

SF: No no no, patronise, patronise Paul, whatever you do! Yeah yeah!

NP: I don't think...

SF: He needs your help! Ohhhh!

NP: ... you can be beaten and there's five seconds to go, and I think...

JE: Do we all get a chance to join in?

NP: No sorry it's 15 seconds to go so you might all get a chance. So there's another chance for you to get more points, 15 seconds on beauty Paul starting now.

PM: Just A Minute as a programme contains more than its full share of beauty. Just look at the panel on display here tonight. Stephen...


NP: Ah Jenny challenged.

JE: Well he's talking rubbish! Apart from me! The rest of you are twisted little dwarf types!

NP: Can you, can you justify that?

JE: Um well let's say that this programme has never successfully made it on the telly and I think there's a reason for that and this panel kind of illustrates that quite adequately!

NP: Yes all right darling, you've said enough! I've, I gave the benefit of the doubt to Paul and he came in on the subject then. There's seven seconds to go, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt Jenny and say, you come in, seven seconds, beauty starting now.

JE: On Beauty is a book written by the authoress Zadie Smith. I have read it and agreed with a lot...


NP: So Jenny Eclair was then speaking as the whistle went and gained that extra point and has moved forward. Let me give you the final situation. Charles Collingwood gave his usual good value but finished up in fourth place. Oh yes he got all the sympathy as well. And just ahead of him, a few points ahead further of him was the lovely Jenny Eclair who contributed so much but didn't manage to overtake the other two boys. Paul finished up in second place. But four or five points ahead of him was Stephen Fry so we say Stephen this week you are the winner!

SF: Oh!

NP: Right! So it only remains for me to say thank you to these four fine players of this game, Paul Merton, Charles Collingwood, Jenny Eclair and Stephen Fry. I also thank Sarah Sharpe who has helped me with the score, she has blown her whistle with great aplomb, when the 60 seconds elapsed. We are grateful to our producer Claire Jones. We are indebted to Ian Messiter who created this amazing game. So from our audience, from me, Nicholas Parsons, and our panel, thank you and tune in again the next time we play Just A Minute! Yes!