JAM:PMerton,CFreud,RNoble,RInce
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, CLEMENT FREUD, ROSS NOBLE and ROBIN INCE, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 8 September 2008)

NOTE: Robin Ince's only appearance.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners throughout the world. But also to welcome to the show four talented and skilful players of this game. And they are, seated on my right, a man who is a real exponent of Just a Minute, a lovely delightful comedian, Paul Merton. And seated beside him someone who has played the game and contributed so much over many years, our veteran player of the game, that is Clement Freud. And seated on my left, we have that lovely comedian who has also excelled on this show many times, Ross Noble. And seated beside him, we have someone who has never played the game before, and it is a great pleasure to welcome a stand-up comedian, he's also a bit of a literary guy, and that is Robin Ince. Would you please welcome all four of them! Thank you! And as usual I am going to ask them to speak on a subject I will give them, and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Beside me sits Trudi Stevens, she is going to help me with the score, she will blow a whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from Henham Park which is in Suffolk, and we are part of the Latitude Festival. And we have an excited festival audience, yes, ready for us to start the extravaganza. And Robin we'd like to hear from you, first time on the show. And we've got a subject here called second-hand shops. Can you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

ROBIN INCE: I love second-hand shops because they are the best place to find toby jugs which I am a fan of, and also books about giant crabs. I love to read novels about any form of beast that has been affected by radiation and therefore grown to a ridiculous size. Second-hand shops are now called vintage. That means they still sell tat, but due to the idea of nostalgia, it costs seven times as much. I was quite annoyed when I brought a selection of pieces of paper that were put together by an ISBN number about...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PAUL MERTON: Just a suggestion that he might breathe once in a while! Might help the process was all I was going to say.

NP: So do you think he was hesitating then?

PM: No.

NP: No, nor do I. So what Paul's done there, very generously is he's given you a point because it was an incorrect challenge. So you've still got the subject and Robin, as a first time player of this game, you've got the sympathy of the whole of this audience. They want you to succeed...

RI: I'm trying to do it like Mark Lester from Oliver at the moment. Just lifting out a bowl going please donít notice my repetition. And I can't remember if I've said crustacean and now I have! I don't know if that counts or not so I'd better be careful.

NP: Robin, Robin, keep it for the show, otherwise you might run out of steam.

RI: Right.

NP: There are 27 seconds still available, the subject is still second-hand shops Robin and you start now.

RI: Hard shelled beasts that...

BUZZ

RI: Oh!

NP: Paul.

PM: Repetition of beasts.

RI: Yeah.

NP: Yes yes.

RI: I should have gone with creatures shouldn't I.

NP: Yes.

RI: I shouldn't have picked crabs to be honest. They're not actually the easiest ones to come up with about 27 different versions of. I'm also lying, I prefer books about giant bears.

NP: Anyway Paul, correct challenge, and so you have a point naturally, you take over the subject, second-hand shops, 24 seconds about starting now.

PM: I buy all my food in second-hand shops. It's a remarkable economy because you can get fish fingers knocked off 60 percent. Since they were made in 1968 not many people eat them as much as they used to. But now...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

ROSS NOBLE: Repetition of 60.

NP: Sixty.

PM: Did I say 60?

NP: Yes, 60 pence and 68.

PM: Oh.

NP: Yeah. So well listened Ross, you've got the subject, a point of course, 15 seconds, second-hand shops starting now.

RN: I can't help myself in second-hand shops. I go around rubbing all the lamps just in case there's genies in them. This really annoys the old ladies that are in there, but not as much as when you actually rub them.

BUZZ

RN: Rub them, yeah.

NP: Oh someone's challenged, Robin.

RI: Was it rub twice?

RN: Yeah it was yeah.

NP: Yes he rubbed twice, didn't he.

RN: Yeah.

NP: Yes you had a correct challenge, well listened and you've got in with four seconds to go. Yes clever clever, second-hand shops is back with you starting now.

RI: An ancient dusty rah-rah skirt is undoubted...

BUZZ

NP: Oh Paul challenged.

PM: I withdraw my challenge.

NP: No no.

PM: Is that better?

NP: Well that's very generous of you Paul because it was repetition of rah.

PM: Oh was it?

NP: Yes.

PM: I missed that.

NP: No.

PM: I was rather confused, he didn't say crustacean.

NP: No you're a very generous player so you've given it back to Robin, who is a first time player of the game and you have one second on second-hand shops starting now.

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CLEMENT FREUD: Hesitation.

NP: No I won't. Robin you've got another point, you have half a second, second-hand shops starting now.

RI: The largest...

WHISTLE

NP: So Robin Ince, our first time player of the game got a number of points in that round including one for speaking as the whistle went and he has leapt forward. He's now in the lead, two ahead of Ross Noble, and then four ahead of Clement Freud and Paul Merton. And Ross the subject is to be perfectly honest. Will you talk on that subject in this game starting now.

RN: To be perfectly honest with you, I'm a little bit chaffed today. I've been walking around the, that's right, you're well to go ooohhh, because I've been hanging around on...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul challenged.

PM: There was a repetition of I've been.

NP: I've been yes.

RN: Well I have been. So I have to.

NP: Repetition Paul, 51 seconds, to be perfectly honest is the subject and you start now.

PM: To be perfectly honest, to talk about being perfectly honest for 51 seconds fills me with great joy. Who can forget the Battle of Britain? I can't, I wasn't there. And do you know, Winston Churchill...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CLEMENT FREUD: I can remember it.

NP: You can remember it. Yes and so can I remember.

CF: Yeah.

NP: And there's probably a number of people in this audience who can probably remember.

CF: Yeah they didn't buzz, they don't have buzzers.

NP: I know. I don't think it was sufficiently powerful enough reaction for me to give you another bonus point. So on this occasion I...

SHOUTS OF "AWWWW" FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: All right you've won the audience sympathy, have another bonus point.

PM: Take it away again, give it again, take it away again, see how long we can keep it going.

NP: No no, only one, one bonus point there this time. Paul you get a point because you were interrupted and go back into your full flood if you can after that pause, 43 seconds available, to be perfectly honest starting now.

PM: The Bee Gees formed in 1963, they were brothers. And why wouldn't they be? Each one of them had the same surname, Gibb. There was Barry, there was Robin and their first...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Two there wases.

NP: There was, there was Barry, there was Robin.

PM: Yeah but there was three of them, wasn't there.

NP: So that was a correct challenge Clement, you have the subject, you have 34 seconds, you tell us something about the subject, to be perfectly honest starting now.

CF: Lots of people begin their conversation by saying to be perfectly honest. Nobody ever appears to begin, start...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

RN: Repetition of begin.

CF: Yah.

NP: Two begins, yes.

CF: Boo. Boo.

NP: Right there are 26 seconds still available Ross, you have another point and you have the subject, to be perfectly honest starting now.

RN: To be perfectly honest there is a man in the front row of this audience who is freaking me out. Every now and again he makes this noise, oooooaaaa, and I'm not quite sure...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of oooooaaaa, oooooaaaa.

NP: No no, I think he was...

PM: It's all one word, oooooaaaa?

NP: No...

PM: Because the first bit sounds like the second bit, oooooaaaa, it's like cuss-cuss.

NP: No he wasn't...

PM: Or Baden-Baden.

NP: No it wasn't, it wasn't an oooooaaaa.

PM: Wasn't it?

NP: No it was a continuous sound, oooooaaaa. It went right through on one note.

PM: Well you're closer to him than I am.

NP: Ross I'm on your side, give you the benefit of the doubt, because it was a one note sound.

RN: Yes.

NP: In which case it wasn't hesitation.

RN: Okay.

NP: Or repetition.

PM: No, just the same note over and over again.

NP: But not sufficiently long to be interpreted as hesitation.

PM: Exactly!

NP: I'm glad you agree.

PM: I am agreeing with you as you can see.

NP: Give him a bonus point, that's what heís working for. But that, that's getting a little bit, but Ross has a point because it was a correct challenge and still with you to be perfectly honest and you have 18 seconds available, to be perfectly honest Ross starting now.

RN: Whenever I make noises, I always err on the side of caution. That's what I tend to do to be perfectly honest. I thought somebody would challenge me there, but they didn't, so...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: I didn't want to let you down!

RN: Thanks! Thanks!

PM: I didn't see any reason to challenge but I could see you were expecting a challenge, so in the end I decided to challenge just to make you happier.

RN: Thanks.

NP: But have you got a challenge within the rules of Just A Minute?

PM: No, have you?

NP: No.

PM: Well why are we talking about it then?

NP: Well it's not my responsibility to challenge.

PM: No I don't.

RN: But thanks though.

PM: Yeah.

RN: I appreciate that.

PM: That's all right.

NP: So you have a challenge which is incorrect, so you have another point Ross.

RN: Yeah.

NP: And the subject is to be perfectly honest and you have nine seconds starting now.

RN: To be perfectly honest, the fact that Paul challenged me there I wasn't expecting and then I did and then I didn't expect it. So to be perfectly honest...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: There was a few Is in there.

NP: And a few thens as well.

PM: Repetition.

NP: Right, so Paul, correct challenge at last, three seconds, to be perfectly honest starting now.

PM: My real name is Eileen Jacobs, I'm a 43 Nigerian woman...

BUZZ

NP: Robin challenged.

RI: No I heard a word wrongly. I thought you said my twice because I just hadn't said much for a while and I was really desperate to buzz in. And looking back I've made a fool of myself.

NP: No you haven't. I know Paul pretty well and I know that he is not Eileen Jacobs so it is deviation, really isnít it.

RI: That's what, oh yes! Oh!

PM: You didn't pick up on the fact that I'm not a 43 Nigerian woman. That didn't bother you that bit. It was the bit I might have repeated my.

RI: These glasses are very old!

NP: No I think you have the benefit of the doubt Robin definitely and you were listening terribly well which is great. And so you have half a second on the subject of to be perfectly honest starting now.

RI: A goitre is...

WHISTLE

NP: So Robin Ince was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. He's doing very well, he's in second place with Ross Noble. They're a little way behind Paul Merton and one or two ahead of Clement Freud. And Paul we're back with you to start, the subject is a laughing matter. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

PM: A laughing matter, well, I think laughter is very important in life. When various things hit us from above, great big terrible awful events, if we look at them in the face and laugh at them, then perhaps we can lessen some of the pain that we're...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

RN: Was it repetition of laugh?

NP: No no it was laughing matter.

RN: No it was laughing matter but he had two individual laughs, didn't he.

PM: May have done, I wasn't listening.

NP: No he said laughter.

RN: Laugh laugh.

PM: I don't listen to it till it goes out on the radio.

NP: I think he said laughs before and laugh then.

RN: Oh it was laughs and laugh.

NP: Yes.

RN: Oh he's good! Heís good isn't he. He's good!

NP: So Paul...

RN: I think he's done this before.

NP: ... 49 seconds, continue on a laughing matter starting now.

PM: When I declared my name to be Eileen Jacobs, and I was a 49-year-old Nigerian woman...

BUZZ

NP: Ross.

RN: Deviation, he was 43 before.

PM: Was I?

NP: Yeah.

RN: Yeah.

NP: You were definitely 43 before.

PM: But nobody still questions that I'm not Nigerian!

NP: No no that has never been in dispute.

PM: No.

NP: But it doesn't matter, I can't give you two points, but you have the one point for a correct challenge and there are 45 seconds, a laughing matter, Ross starting now.

RN: I was walking along before and encountered something that I consider to be a laughing matter. As I passed a tent, I heard somebody inside say "don't squeeze that, it's my Mum's". I was not sure what exactly was going on underneath the canvas there but I found myself chuckling heartily. Unfortunately nobody realised that I had had some form of comedy stimulus and it looked as if I was a madman simply laughing for no reason. That's why it's always best not to hang around people's tents pressing your ear against theeeeaaa...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

RN: It's a new type of fabric, it's a theeah! Lululeah!

PM: It's a hesitation.

NP: It was a hesitation yes, after the eeah right. Laughing matter is back with you Paul, another point to you as well and 11 seconds available starting now.

PM: I remember going to the pantomime at the London Palladium at Christmas time and I saw the most funniest comedian I've ever seen in my life...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Of what, language?

CF: You can't...

NP: Most funniest.

CF: Not most funniest.

NP: You can't have a superlative and an adverb in front of it.

PM: How dare you! Do you hear the way he's speaking to me?

NP: Even in Just A Minute, so we have to give the benefit of the doubt to Clement on that one.

PM: I've never been so insulted in all my life! I don't come here to do this show, you know, I could be sitting over there enjoying myself.

NP: Where do you usually go to be insulted?

PM: Well I usually go, what do you mean where do I normally go?

NP: No no we do...

PM: It just finds me!

NP: ... try to keep to grammatical truths in this show. And Clement he'd be very upset if I didn't give it to him because it's grammatically correct.

PM: Yeah.

NP: Yes and there's three seconds to go Clement, a laughing matter starting now.

CF: Flat feet...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Oh there was a hesitation there, massive hesitation. You could have made a ham sandwich in that. In fact I did. I made a ham sandwich in that hesitation. Did you notice his hesitation?

NP: No.

PM: Wasting my time, aren't I!

NP: Another point to Clement. Two seconds, a laughing matter Clement, starting now.

CF: Chicken ala king and Brighton and Hove Albion are no laughing matter...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. He's moved forward, he's still in third place, but he's equal now with Robin Ince...

PM: (laughs) Sorry, I'm just laughing, there's this huge parrot just walked past, can you see it?

RN: No, no-one can see that but you!

NP: Yes I should explain to our listeners in case... yes a huge parrot did walk past but it was someone dressed as a parrot.

PM: Oh it wasn't a six foot parrot then?

NP: No. No.

RN: We'd better get out of here quick because there's going to be an enormous pirate is going to follow him!

NP: Parrots, it is the Latitude Festival, everything happens here. Well where were we in Just A Minute until that happened?

PM: A six foot parrot.

NP: A six foot parrot, no, that's not the subject, right. I was saying what the situation was. Robin and Clement are in third place, one point behind Ross, and he's one or two points behind Paul who is in the lead. And Robin we're back with you to begin, song and dance is the subject, 60 seconds starting now.

RI: I am not a song and dance man which I discovered when I did a musical with Ted Rogers, Su Pollard and Freddie Parrotface Davis. This is entirely true. Every now and again I make bizarre career decisions. Unfortunately Jimmy Perry who made the show didn't actually ask me beforehand if I could dance. He merely presumed it. The man who was the choreographer was very cross because he had worked with Rolf Harris. And therefore when I was unable to do the funky chicken dance, which was one of the main choreographed...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged. What's the challenge?

PM: Repetition of dance.

NP: But dance is on the card. Song and dance.

PM: Oh is it? Oh.

NP: Yes. And you can... I know you've only been playing the game for about 20 years but, I mean, you can repeat the subject...

PM: Yes got to write down what the title was.

NP: That's all right, don't worry, don't worry, it was an incorrect challenge so Robin, our first time player of the game still has the subject, 32 seconds available, song and dance still with you Robin starting now.

RI: Carmen Silvera...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: No! Of course not! He's being very generous, you've got another point Robin, song and dance and there are 32 and a half seconds left starting now.

BUZZ

NP: Yes?

RN: Hesitation, he can have another point.

NP: All right.

RI: I feel like a boy in callipers!

PM: I don't think we can find one at short notice!

NP: Right, doesn't matter, song and dance is still with you Robin starting now.

RI: Carmen Silvera from TV's Allo Allo was very dis...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

RI: Oh I'm an idiot!

PM: The show was called Allo Allo!

NP: Allo Allo, yes.

RI: Oh why hadn't she been in Are You Being Served? That's, I'm very annoyed at Carmen Silvera only doing Allo Allo. If she had done Are You Being Served, that would have been fine. It Aint Half Hot Mum, Some Mothers Do Ave Em, but no, it had to be Allo Allo.

NP: Allo Allo is repetition so Paul, another point to you, and 29 seconds, song and dance starting now.

PM: Allo Allo's chief claim...

BUZZ

PM: Allo Allo's. Allo Allo's yes?

RI: I would say Allo Allo and then apostrophe S.

PM: Well you say that Robin.

NP: No it was apostrophe S. If you say Allo Allo's, it's apostrophe S after the second Allo.

PM: So it's repetition?

NP: It is repetition of Allo. Yes I think I'm right.

PM: Well that's nothing to go by!

NP: So Robin I give you the benefit of the doubt and your own Allo Allo's got it back again to you with 27 seconds, song and dance starting now.

RI: Are You Being Served was...

BUZZ

NP: Clement's challenged.

CF: Said that before.

NP: No he didn't, he didn't say it in the round, he said it outside the round. He said it's a pity I didn't say Are You Being Served or one of those other programmes.

RI: I'll tell you what, I'm going to say Allo Allo next so all get ready.

NP: Right so incorrect challenge Robin and there are 26 seconds available, song and dance starting now.

RI: Gorden Kaye was also in Allo Al...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: He lied!

RI: I had only got as far as Al.

NP: He might say it later.

CF: No no, he said next.

PM: Yeah he did. He did say next.

NP: Give him another bonus point, Robin you still have the subject, you have 24 seconds, song and dance starting now.

RI: It was at this point that I suddenly wished I had not started talking about possibly one of my career lows. I...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

RN: Repetition of career.

NP: Yes you talked about your career before yes.

RI: I always do, I'm terrible like that, terrible!

NP: So Ross you got in on the subject, there are 15 seconds still available, song and dance starting now.

RN: You can make a big song and dance of something, a big production number...

BUZZ

RN: Oh it's big.

NP: Robin, well listened.

RI: Ah big. Yes so repetition.

NP: There were two bigs right. So song and dance is with you, 12 seconds available starting now.

RI: The first time that I did any song and dance I fell off the stage which is entirely...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of I.

NP: Yes.

PM: Quite a few Is.

NP: I, I, I, we let one go or maybe two...

RI: No that's fair enough, that's ridiculous what I just did.

NP: A number of Is there so Paul, correct challenge, eight seconds, song and dance starting now.

PM: I once performed a song and dance with a six foot parrot. I can never forget...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Repetition of I.

NP: Clement you've got in with a correct challenge, four seconds on song and dance starting now.

CF: The song and dance or mumble and stumble as we call it after a certain age...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, he's moved forward into third place, one ahead of Ross Noble, but you'll be interested to know that our first time player of the game Robin Ince is now equal in the lead with Paul Merton. And we're back to Clement Freud to begin, Clement the subject is just simply Victoria. Can you tell us something about Victoria in this game starting now.

CF: If you go from Marble Arch South to Hyde Park Corner you pass the monument of the Duke of Wellington which says "to Arthur, this statue of Achilles from cannons taken at the battles of Salamanca, Victoria, Toulouse and Waterloo is inscribed by his countrymen". I think one of the most beautiful inscriptions I have read, certainly in that particular part of west London...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

CF: I think this is a good time to stop.

RN: That was a hesitation.

NP: It was a hesitation yes.

RN: Yeah.

NP: You're in awe of something anyway. Victoria, it's with you, the subject, 30 seconds Ross starting now.

RN: The Victoria sponge was named after Queen Victoria because she was particularly absorbent. It was one of, out of all of the monarchs she would not got anywhere near water or her entire body would get heavy. Unfortunately this didn't need a butler as if there was spillage, she was able simply to fall to her knees and take in any of that liquid wrongness. Sometimes if riding out and about she would fall and bounce straight back up on to the...

WHISTLE

NP: So now we have Clement Freud and Ross Noble equal in third place, Paul has now gone into second place behind Robin Ince who is in the lead, two points ahead. Anyway it is the final round and we're back with you to begin Ross. The subject is two in the bush, can you tell us, tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

RN: If you wander around the Latitude Festival late at night and find drunken people, you'll often find two in the bush...

BUZZ

NP: Robin challenged.

RN: Find.

RI: Yeah find, two finds.

NP: Two finds, there were.

RI: Yeah. I'm really intrigued by what you found so I may well say Allo Allo again.

RN: I did just find two in the bush.

NP: And there are 54 seconds, I don't think we'll pursue that one.

RN: Badgers! Badgers! Badgers! I'm like a Geordie Bill Oddie.

NP: Fifty-four seconds, two in the bush, with you Robin starting now.

RI: Ross Noble is like a Geordie Bill Oddie. He has managed to grow out of his face the equivalent of much foliage and within that foliage if you look very...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

RI: What an idiot I am!

NP: It is so easy to be an idiot in Just A Minute.

RI: Double foliage this early on though.

NP: I know, you're doing very well for a first time player. Paul, a correct challenge, foliage and there are 41 seconds available, two in the bush starting now.

PM: Shepherd's Bush is a part of London and that's where I often go late at night. As the owls hoot across the lonely commons I find myself heading towards that intriguing green just between Hammersmith and White City. Sometimes the nights are so lonely I find myself kissing barn owls, looking for companionship.

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

PM: This is too important for this game now! This is me talking from the heart! I don't care about Just A Minute, I just want companionship!

NP: Ross.

PM: Sod the game!

NP: That's the most animated you've ever been in the show in 20 years.

PM: Sorry, over 20 years?

NP: Yes, but Ross challenged you when you were halfway through. What was your challenge Ross?

RN: Repetition.

NP: What?

RN: Owls.

NP: Owls yes. You wouldn't find a barn owl in Shepherd's Bush.

PM: He was a tourist.

NP: Dressed up as a barn owl?

PM: Yeah.

NP: You didn't establish that.

PM: No I didn't.

NP: No. I'll tell you what we'll do Paul...

PM: Yeah.

NP: As the audience enjoyed your peroration like that...

PM: My what?

NP: Your per... your passionate speech.

PM: Oh.

NP: We give you a bonus point for that, all right. But Ross had a correct challenge so he takes over the subject, there are 27 seconds available Ross, two in the bush starting now.

RN: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Just be careful if they're owls or Paul Merton will be around in the middle of the night touching them up...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition.

NP: What?

CF: I've heard that before!

PM: Yeah it did seem familiar, didnít it.

CF: Yeah.

NP: Yes it's very very familiar. But if we challenge for every familiar statement we ever here, we wouldnít...

CF: We wouldn't get a lot of challenges.

NP: You'd get innumerable challenges, no.

CF: It's quite an original show.

NP: No no no no, I like to give bonus points where I can Clement and I like to be generous to you...

CF: No I don't want any.

PM: He doesn't want a bonus point.

CF: No. Good.

NP: Oh the audience, because you have a home in Suffolk, the audience want you to have one, don't you. Oh Clement you've won them over with your insouciant charm.

PM: What, because he's bought property in the area? Seems a rather obscure reason to give somebody a point.

NP: I think the audience want him to have a point.

PM: But do you want him to have the house? They're not so sure about that.

NP: Clement you have a bonus point, but it was an incorrect challenge Ross, you still have two in the bush, 22 seconds...

RN: Oh 22? No chance! It's not going to happen!

NP: Two in the bush starting now.

RN: If you are bartering and you want a bird in the hand you will...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of bird.

RN: Oh yeah.

NP: You said bird in the hand the other time.

RN: Yeah yes too much.

NP: So Clement that was a correct challenge and you now have 18 seconds to take over two in the bush starting now.

CF: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush is a pretty common sort of saying, not that I myself have ever indulged in it because I think that original sayings such as 14 Chinamen in a...

BUZZ

NP: Paul you've challenged.

PM: I think there's hesitation there, I think...

NP: Yes.

RN: Can we just find out what the saying was? Fourteen Chinamen in what?

PM: Do not make a cricket team.

NP: Paul you had a correct challenge and you've got in with two seconds to go on two in the bush starting now.

PM: The Two Ronnies once made a film on how...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

RN: Two Ronnies, that's repetition of Ronnies, isn't it, there's two of them.

NP: No no it's a repetitious thought but it's not repetition of Ronnie or two. And two is on the card. So you have another point, half a second for you Paul on two in the bush starting now.

PM: Two in the bush...

WHISTLE

NP: So I said that was to be the last round, let me give you the final score. It is very interesting, they're all pretty close and they all did so well, there we are. Ross Noble and Clement Freud were equal in third place. Robin Ince, our first time player of the game, finished in second place. But he was only two points behind the man who has most points, so we say this week, once again it is Paul Merton. So it only remains for me to say now thank you to these four fine players of the game, Paul Merton, Ross Noble, Robin Ince and Clement Freud. I thank Trudi Stevens, who has helped with the score, blown that whistle beautifully when the 60 seconds had elapsed. We thank our producer Tilusha Ghelani. We are indebted to Ian Messiter who created this amazing game. And we are very grateful to this lovely audience in this marquee here at the Latitude Festival who have cheered us on our way magnificently. From our audience, from me Nicholas Parsons and the team, good-bye, thank you, and tune in the next time we play Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC