JAM:PMerton,CFreud,CNeill,JLawrence
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, CLEMENT FREUD, CHRIS NEILL and JOSIE LAWRENCE, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 25 February 2008)

NOTE: Paul Merton's 200th appearance.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners throughout the world. But also to welcome to the programme this week four talented exuberant and intelligent players of this game who are going to display their verbal dexterity, their humorous ingenuity as they try and speak on a subject that I give them and they try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And they are seated on my right, Paul Merton and Clement Freud. And seated on my left, Josie Lawrence and Chris Neill. Will you please welcome all four of them! And seated beside me is Trudi Stevens, who is going to help me with the score, and blow a whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed. And we are going to start the show this week with Josie Lawrence. And oh a lovely topical subject, red Leicester. Josie will you tell us something about red Leicester in this game starting now.

JOSIE LAWRENCE: My favourite cheese of all time is red Leicester. So how wonderful to be here in Leicester. As soon as I got off the train at the station, I went straight to one of the many booths that sell this wonderful cheese and said "excuse me...Ē

BUZZ

NP: Chris youíve challenged.

CHRIS NEILL: Deviation, there arenít any booths.

JL: There are, on the outskirts of Leicester, there are hundreds of them.

NP: I, I knew what she was saying, she didnít use the word shops, she used the word booths. And I, at the end...

CN: Have you seen one of these booths, have you?

NP: No, I had the image that she went to a place that sells cheese and she found one and she bought some cheese...

CN: A red Leicester booth, yes!

JL: There are lots of them in Leicester, arenít there!

NP: So Iím giving her...

CN: Oh, do stop!

NP: Iím giving her the benefit of the doubt, and say that she had an incorrect challenge, she gets a point for that and she keeps the subject of course and there are 47 seconds available starting now.

JL: Red Leicester was actually created in 1962...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CLEMENT FREUD: No.

NP: No? Can you give us the date Clement?

CF: There was no date, there was never any other cheese than red Leicester, Leicester cheese was red, they added some colour material, in the first case carrots and later something called root of vanato...

NP: Are you all right?

CN: I saw a pamphlet in a booth and it was invented in 1962.

CF: But thereís no green Leicester or blue Leicester.

NP: I will give you the benefit of the doubt this time Clement. You take over the subject, 42 seconds available, red Leicester starting now.

CF: Iím quite fond of red Leicester because itís a very proper ingredient for Welsh rabbit. Itís crumbly, it isnít hard, itís fairly expensive but then what do you expect in Leicester of cheese. Um...

BUZZ

NP: Paul you challenged.

CF: I could give you the names of a few people who...

NP: Clement you have been challenged.

CF: I know that!

PAUL MERTON: Heís, heís just musing on what might have been!

NP: But Iím afraid we have to play the game, Paul a correct challenge, it was hesitation obviously and you have 25 seconds, tell us something about red Leicester starting now.

PM: Tony Blairís wife, Cheese Booth, comes from around this area. And she was in fact born somewhere near Liverpool which isnít that far away from Leicester, and they both begin with a capital L. Red Leicester...

BUZZ

NP: Josie challenged.

JL: He hesitated after L.

NP: No he didnít, Josie!

JL: No he didnít.

NP: No he didnít.

CN: Suddenly the chairmanship has gone a little sour!

NP: That was a tough challenge.

JL: Yeah well he took the mickey a bit out of the cheese thing.

NP: Chris I know you took the mickey out of me then Chris, but they did enjoy what you said, so I give you a bonus point for that. But Paul...

CN: Suddenly he is won round again!

NP: Paul it was an incorrect challenge, you keep the subject, red Leicester and there are 14 seconds starting now.

PM: The Communist Party in Leicester was a rather small group of individuals. They meet every Tuesday just outside the town where all the booths are. They decide what they are going to do is overthrow the system, they say first of all...

WHISTLE

NP: In this game whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. It was of course Paul Merton who is in the lead, one ahead of Josie Lawrence and two ahead of Clement Freud, and three ahead of Chris Neill. But Chris you begin the next round, and the subject is once in a blue moon. Tell us something about that in this game starting now.

CN: Once in a blue moon is how you would describe a fun night out in Loughborough. It really doesnít happen terribly often! Donít groan, itís an awful place! I have been there. Blue Moon is a lovely song by Rogers and Hart. (sings) Blue moon, I saw you standing...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: How does it go? Perhaps Chris could sing some for us?

NP: That was a comment on your singing Chris, if you didnít recognise it. Paul the audience enjoyed your interruption but you havenít got a challenge within the rules of Just A Minute. Chris you were interrupted so you get a point for that, you keep once in a blue moon and there are 45 seconds starting now.

CN: During a court... oh!

BUZZ

NP: Paul you challenged.

PM: Ah loss of something.

NP: Loss, yes, loss of everything.

PM: Loss of everything.

NP: Forty-four seconds still available Paul, tell us something about once in a blue moon starting now.

PM: Once in a blue moon refers to the incident or incidents which might occur very rarely in your life. For example you come to Leicester, you walk into the De Montfort Hall and you see that itís packed to the rafters which it will be like on November the 20th when we come... no itís not that...

BUZZ

PM: Itís November the 30th!

NP: Josie you challenged.

JL: Yes he tripped himself up then.

NP: Why?

JL: He hesitated and then went, no, wait a a minute, itís ah, itís the wrong date.

PM: Didnít hesitate while I was doing it, I kept talking.

JL: No! No you didnít.

NP: He didnít hesitate while he was doing it, darling, he kept going.

PM: Yeah.

NP: You see yes.

JL: Yes all right, I donít...

NP: It was a good try but I mean no, I donít think I can even be generous on that one. So...

SHOUTS OF ďAWWWWĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: We know who the audience want to win, donít we.

JL: Sorry Paul.

NP: No no donít apologise, he gets a point. Heís happy, he gets another point and he has 29 seconds, once in a blue moon starting now.

PM: Manchester City...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Repetition of November.

NP: Yes. Youíre quite right, in your previous speech, you did use the word November twice.

PM: Mmmm.

NP: So well listened, Clement you have a correct challenge, you have 28 seconds...

PM: Hang on! Hang on! Can he do that, a retrospective challenge?

NP: Yes if you speak in that round, you mustnít repeat anything in that round...

PM: Well I just said Manchester and he challenged me for repeating November.

NP: No no but he was doing a retrospective challenge.

PM: Oh okay.

NP: In the sense that he could, you have used the word November twice in this round...

PM: Yes.

NP: ... on this subject of once in a blue moon.

PM: Yes.

NP: So Clement has technically a correct challenge...

CN: Does anyone want a fruit gum?

NP: So Iím happy to listen and be fair and be correct within the rules of Just A Minute. Clement, 28 seconds still available, once in a blue moon starting now.

CF: Once in a blue moon is the number of times Leicester City win a football match.

BUZZ

NP: Chris you challenged.

CN: A hesitation. He sort of stopped

NP: Yes he stopped, so you take it over, 20 seconds, once in a blue moon starting now.

CN: Blue Moon I heard a recording of by Frank Sinatra many years ago, and I drank a glass of champagne as I listened to it. He played, no he didnít, he sang with...

BUZZ

NP: Josie yes?

JL: I think he said listened twice.

NP: Yes he did.

CN: Yeah.

NP: He did, well listened Josie, so youíve got once in a blue moon, and you have 11 seconds starting now.

JL: The reason people say once in a blue moon is because blue moons are very very rare...

BUZZ

NP: Oh!

JL: Oh no!

NP: Yes!

JL: I canít even say very very.

NP: Thatís right. Itís so natural to say very very to emphasise. And first-time players of the game invariably do it. And I canít let you get away with it...

JL: No you really canít, I want to do it properly.

NP: Paul you have a correct challenge, once in a blue moon, six seconds starting now.

PM: Football fans around the country often are heard singing this particular lament when their team goes behind. It goes something...

WHISTLE

NP: Well at the end of that round Paul Merton is in the lead. But he is only two ahead of Chris Neill and heís only one ahead of Josie Lawrence and she is two ahead of Clement Freud. Thatís the order, thatís the sequence. And who begins the next round? Clement itís with you, would you take the subject of upping the ante starting now.

CF: This is something Noel Coward was very fond of. It was called goosing. You get your middle finger and you thrust it in the colon...

BUZZ

NP: Chris Neill...

PM: Are you talking about upping the auntie?

CF: In this part of England...

NP: Clement...

CF: ... your fatherís or motherís brother or sister is pronounced ante.

NP: Sorry Clement I have to interrupt you because you have been challenged by Chris Neill.

CN: My challenge was that he said forefinger and then he put his thumb up!

NP: I know!

CN: The rest of it I was fine with.

CF: Thatís not a valid challenge, I mean if I got...

NP: I think itís very valid.

CN: Why is that not a valid challenge?

CF: ... talking about all bran.

NP: Well no you wouldnít because if you were talking about all bran, because you deliberately put your, you said forefinger and you put your thumb up like that. I know itís not visual, but it is radio and the audience here can see it. So, so I think youíd agree with my decision, wouldnít you audience? Chris you have the subject, you have 51 seconds on upping the ante starting now.

CN: I remember when I studied Othello at college, the only quote I could remember was tupping your white ewe which slightly rhymes with upping the ante and thatís all Iíve got to say about it.

BUZZ

NP: And Josie challenged.

JL: It doesnít even slightly rhyme.

NP: It doesnít matter, what have you challenged for? Hesitation?

JL: Yes hesitation.

NP: Well said Josie, well spotted, I agree.

JL: It doesnít rhyme.

CN: Tupping and upping rhymes.

NP: It doesnít.

CN: Tupping and upping rhymes!

PM: It does yeah.

CN: It does.

NP: Josie you had a correct challenge, you have the subject, 42 seconds, upping the ante starting now.

JL: Upping the ante, upping the stakes, thatís what a lot of people like to do, and those are the kind of human beings that I do not like. Why do you need to up the ante, why has the upty, ante, got to be upped...

BUZZ

NP: Oh that was lovely!

PM: (in Italian accent) Upping the ante!

JL: I did go Italian, sorry!

PM: Deviation from English.

JL: You warned me about going Italian.

PM: I said donít go Italian. Everybody does.

NP: You had a correct challenge Paul, you have 29 seconds, upping the ante starting now.

PM: (in Italian accent) Eh, upping the ante! (normal voice) It means to get hold of a situation and think to yourself, okay, Iím so far ahead here that I think Iím going to raise the stakes, aim for something higher. If I achieve that, think of the marvellous things that will ensue. People will say you should stick to what you know, but no! You must...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Repetition of no.

PM: What you know, two words, two different words, what you know and no.

CF: Same sound.

NP: Mmmm?

CF: Same sound.

NP: No no, Iím sorry.

PM: Thatís all right.

CF: Saying what you know...

NP: Used in that context, when he said know we knew it was K-N-O-W...

PM: Yeah.

NP: ... and when he said no then, we knew it was N-O. I have to give the benefit of the doubt to Paul on this one and say upping the ante is still with you Paul, nine seconds starting now.

PM: My father was a very keen follower on horses. They were sick animals...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Follower of horses.

NP: Yes he followed of horses. He didnít ride them, did he?

PM: Yeah he was a jockey.

NP: I donít believe you Paul, I think you meant to say following the horses. Clement you have the benefit of the doubt so you now have upping the ante and five seconds starting now.

CF: When I was told I was coming to Leicester, I was pleased because my wifeís people are from very near here. Watford.

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so, heís equal with Paul in the lead followed by Josie and Chris Neill. And Paul weíd like you to take the next round or start the next round. Stating the obvious, will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

PM: I am on the panel of Just A Minute, sitting next to Sir Clement Freud. And also on the other side we have Chris Neil and Josie Lawrence. But of course in the middle we have somebody that we couldnít do without. Trudi Stevens who blows the whistle for us indicating...

BUZZ

NP: Chris Neill challenged.

CN: There was a repetition of we have.

NP: Yes you did say we have we have yes.

PM: Yes.

NP: Right so Chris you have a correct challenge, you have the subject, 45 seconds, stating the obvious starting now.

CN: Stating the obvious, Dale Winton is not the marrying kind! Anne Robinson has had some work done. Nicholas Parsons was in the Boer War. All these things are stating the obvious. Why do people feel itís absolutely necessary to lay all this, itís like when they go ďoooohh do you know what I meanĒ. Yes I do know what you mean, youíve just said something really easy...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of know what I mean.

NP: Know what I mean, yes, there was two means there. Right Paul you have the subject back again, stating the obvious, 26 seconds starting now.

PM: Football commentators I suppose can be accused of stating the obvious when they say what a wonderful goal that was, as you see the ball clearly rippling into the back of the net. But then of course if they are talking about particular sports, they have to assume that not everybody has the expert knowledge that they have. Indeed if you look at lawn tennis, Wimbledon...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Repetition of look.

NP: Yes you did say look before.

CF: Thatís why itís repeated.

NP: Clement, seven seconds, stating the obvious starting now.

CF: Two or three...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Hesitation Iím afraid.

NP: No!

PM: No?

NP: No no no, he hadnít even gone for half a second.

PM: Oh.

NP: Six and three quarter seconds on stating the obvious Clement starting now.

CF: If you start straight away it is not hesitation nor deviation. In no way could it be called...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud was again speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, heís equal with Paul Merton in the lead, then Josie and then Chris in that order. Josie...

JL: Yes?

NP: Weíd like you to start the next round, oh a lovely subject Iím sure you can go on it...

JL BREATHES IN AND OUT DEEPLY

NP: What are you blowing for?

JL: Getting my breathing right.

NP: Getting your breathing right. What the butler saw is the subject, 60 seconds if you want it...

JL: Yes please.

NP: And you take in a deep breath now and you start now.

JL: I know quite a lot about what the butler saw because my auntie Florrie went into service in 1910 to a big big...

BUZZ

JL: Oh no! It was a big big house.

NP: I know, it was a very very big house, wasnít it. Itís a tough game.

JL: Oh it is a tough game.

NP: Yes.

JL: I want to die.

NP: Paul you challenged, correct challenge, 52 seconds, what the butler saw starting now.

PM: It was a play written by Joe Orton, that marvellous playwright from the 1960s, who wrote several plays, Entertaining Mister...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Wrote wrote.

NP: He wrote wrote yes, plays plays.

CN: I think he said wrote and written didnít he.

PM: Yeah.

JL: He said plays twice.

CF: No he said...

NP: He said play and plays.

CF: Youíre always right.

NP: One is the singular and one is the plural.

JL: Oh Lord!

NP: He wrote...

CN: Did he say buffalo?

NP: No no. You did say...

PM: I can say buffalo if it would help.

CN: Go on!

PM: Buffalo!

NP: Forty-five seconds Clement with you, what the butler saw starting now.

CF: The most tragic thing is a blind butler. Poor sod, he goes around life seeing absolutely nothing! People undress in front of him...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: How did he get the job in the first place? You canít have a blind butler can you?

NP: Well...

JL: You can have a dumbwaiter!

NP: Josie that deserves a bonus point, Iím going to give you a bonus point for that one. And probably the family, a blind butler might work for a blind family. But it doesnít matter...

PM: Whatís the point of that! Here, we are blind, what we need is somebody else that is blind! That we have to pay, well, we think weíre paying, God knows what we are giving him! Letís get a blind chauffeur while weíre about it!

JL: Oh dear!

NP: It gets better and better, doesnít it. But youíre quite right Paul, he did hesitate. So you have the subject and you have 35 seconds starting now.

PM: Itís one of those old farces but it translated very well when it was staged in London in he decade between the 70s and the 50s. He was unfortunately murdered by his lover, Kenneth Halliwell. Iím referring of course to the gentleman I mentioned at the beginning of this talk, who I canít repeat his name because that...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Joe Orton.

PM: Thatís it, I couldnít remember.

NP: All right, what we do on this occasion, they enjoyed that Clement, so you get a bonus point for your interruption. But Paul was interrupted so he gets a point for that, keeps the subject, 18 seconds, what the butler saw starting now.

PM: In 1895 the Lumiere brothers showed films on a screen to the inhabitants of Paris. But before that what-the-butler machines were very popular. You would put in a small coin, turn the handle, look through an aperture, and see moving images. And these machines...

BUZZ

NP: Josie challenged.

JL: Machines. Repetition.

NP: Yes, the machines.

PM: Five people noticed that.

NP: They were concentrating on the humour.

PM: It takes a lot of concentration to find it sometimes.

NP: Right, three seconds, Josie you got in with three seconds to go, what the butler saw starting now.

JL: Butlers saw an awful lot because wealthy people took absolutely no...

WHISTLE

NP: So Josie Lawrence was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point and she has moved forward. Sheís still in third place but sheís not far behind Clement Freud and she is only three or four behind Paul Merton. Chris is behind them and he begins the next round. Chris, Iíve got a subject here, if I could do it all again. You can take it any way you wish...

CN: Thank you.

NP: Sixty seconds starting now.

CN: If I could do it all again was something I heard myself saying only yesterday, Sunday. Obviously if you are listening to the repeat it was earlier this morning. And it was concerning the way Iíd cooked Sunday... oh I said Sunday twice.

BUZZ

NP: Right Paul challenged.

CN: It was going to be really interesting as well.

PM: Repetition of Sunday.

NP: There was too much of Sunday Iím afraid.

CN: I know.

NP: So Paul you have the subject of if I could do it all again and you have 50 seconds starting now.

PM: If I could do it all again, I would, but this time Iíd employ a blind butler. Because I think itís very important to have domestic staff around you who have no idea what is going on. Youíd be able to tease him by pouring soup on his head and telling him itís raining. Thatís the sort of thing I would do. Also you could...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Three dos.

PM: Three dos.

NP: Yes three dos. Do this and do that.

PM: Yeah.

NP: Thirty-two seconds Clement, if I could do it all again starting now.

CF: If I could do it all again, it would be repetition.

BUZZ

NP: Chris you challenged.

CN: He sort of stopped.

NP: I know because...

JL: Oh no!

PM: He was riding the laugh. Heíd got his surfboard out, heíd waxed the surfboard, he was gliding across the top of it.

NP: He had a very, he had a very good line, he had a very good laugh, thatís not enough for me. Over to you and Chris was the first to challenge so Chris, hesitation, 26 seconds, if I could do it all again starting now.

CN: So what I was trying to say, we had roast beef and potatoes cooked in the same way, cabbage, glazed carrots, gravy, horseradish sauce and Yorkshire pudding. But I got it all arse about face really, I put the beef in too early and then the cabbage...

BUZZ

NP: Josieís challenged.

JL: This is quite educational.

JL: Iím sorry but he did say beef twice.

NP: He did say beef twice, you talked about the beef before.

CN: I did.

NP: Yes.

CN: I know I did but I was just trying to explain things to people.

JL: Oh mate!

CN: Sometimes itís not about the points, itís about the education.

JL: Yes!

NP: I donít...

PM: Is this an educational show? Do people come out of this recording saying to themselves, ďwell that taught me a lesson!Ē

NP: Fourteen seconds for you Josie on if I could do it all again starting now.

JL: People say if I could do it all again then I would do so many things differently. And I donít believe that. Why have regrets? Why not just...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

PM: Repetition of why.

NP: Why.

JL: Oh! Itís true, itís true.

PM: It is true.

NP: Yes, Paul, six seconds are still available, tell us something more about if I could do it all again, sorry, I donít know why, I just read it, and suddenly, have I read that before. If I could do it all again, thatís the subject Paul and five seconds starting now.

PM: When youíve got Alzheimer's the feeling that you could do it all again comes to you very rapidly. You wake up in the morning and you think to yourself what day of the week is it...

WHISTLE

NP: Paul Merton speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point and he has slightly increased his lead, just ahead of Clement Freud and three or four points ahead of Josie Lawrence, and even more ahead of Chris Neill. I mention that fact now because we are moving into the final round. Clement itís your turn to begin so, oh, this is a good one to finish on. A kangaroo court, tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

CF: When a man catches a kangaroo, he is said to have a kangaroo court which means that he has caught a kangaroo.

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged.

CF: Are you doubting this?

NP: No but Paulís challenged you.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: It was a hesitation.

CF: Oh yes.

NP: Yes. Paul, correct challenge, 49 seconds, a kangaroo court starting now.

PM: Thereís a story that may be apocryphal. But a beautiful wonderful group of tourists were driving through Australia when they knocked a kangaroo down with their lawn mower. Lawn mower? Land rover!

BUZZ

NP: Oh! Actually I think a lawn mower would have been more fun, wouldnít it. Yes yes.

PM: Itís a longer way to get across Australia.

NP: Thatís right.

PM: But you leave a neat path behind you!

NP: Josie you challenged first.

JL: Yeah.

NP: What was the challenge?

JL: He said lawn mower instead of land rover.

NP: Which is deviation when youíre going across on the, he couldnít have achieved that on the lawn mower. Forty-one seconds...

JL: Oh God!

NP: Josie weíve got a kangaroo court with you starting now.

JL: There were many kangaroo courts around the clink and Newgate Jail and many kangaroos... oh!

BUZZ

NP: Paul you challenged first.

PM: Hesitation?

NP: Hesitation yes. Even if you do slip up like that, Iíd keep going next time Josie.

JL: All right.

NP: It draws attention to it otherwise. Thirty-five seconds, a kangaroo court with you Paul starting now.

PM: It means a bunch of people got together without the full force of the law and decided...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Was there a people from before?

NP: No.

CN: Oh okay.

NP: Definitely not Chris, Iím sorry, incorrect challenge, another point to Paul, 32 seconds, a kangaroo court with you Paul starting now.

PM: Itís the equivalent of saying to somebody we will try you without due cause. We will be able to say...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: We will twice.

PM: Yeah.

NP: Two we wills. So Clement you have the subject now, 25 seconds, a kangaroo court starting now.

CF: A kangaroo court...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Hesitation.

NP: I think so Chris yes.

CN: Thank you.

NP: You have 25 seconds on a kangaroo court Chris starting now.

CN: So the kangaroo is the judge and then youíve got koalas as attendants, wallabies as ushers, and Australian rabbits, whatever they are, doing other things in this particular court that we talk of. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh I say...

BUZZ

NP: Paul challenged you.

PM: Repetition of ohhhhhh!

JL: Yeah.

PM: Long word, wasnít it. Lots of vowels in that, wasnít there Nicholas.

NP: Yeah.

PM: Iím over here! Iím over here!

NP: I know youíre over there. I was trying to work it out whether...

PM: You were trying to work out where I am?

NP: Listen, you can talk after your lawn mower going across the outback in Australia! No I was trying to work out whether itís legitimate to say ohhhhhhhh.

CN: I think itís a proper word.

SHOUT OF ďYESĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Yeah but....

CN: That man thinks so, yeah.

NP: But...

CN: Itís a local Leicester word! Itís all the rage!

NP: Listen Iíll tell you what, whatís the situation? Weíve got 13 seconds to go...

CN: Iím always in fourth place!

NP: Paul is in a strong lead...

JL: Oh mate!

NP: I think itís fair, weíll give Chris the benefit of the doubt and say you can keep the subject Chris and another point, 13 seconds, a kangaroo court starting now.

CN: Clement was talking about a kangaroo being caught. And if it was it could be braised, stewed, roasted. I tried to talk about that before, got nowhere! And other things could happen, you could even make a soup from the bones...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Repetition of talking.

NP: Of talking?

CF: Clement was talking, and then talking.

NP: Thatís right, yes you did say it.

CN: Yes thatís right.

NP: Clement talking right. He was going so fast I couldnít quite catch it.

CN: I wasn't listening!

NP: Five seconds Clement for you on a kangaroo court starting now.

CF: A blind butler in charge of a judicial community, seeing...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud brought that subject to an end and the round to an end and the show to and end. He gained a point for speaking as the whistle went, heís in a strong position. Let me give you the final score. Chris Neill who did so well last time we were in Leicester but he did finish in fourth place on this occasion. He was a number of points behind Josie Lawrence who was a real triumph last time she was in Leicester, but didnít get quite so many of the points this time. She was in third place. Second place was Clement Freud. And he was three points behind Paul Merton so once again Paul Merton is your winner. Thank you. It only remains for me to say thank you to these four delightful players of the game, Paul Merton, Josie Lawrence, Clement Freud, Chris Neill. I also thank Trudi Stevens, who has helped me with the score, blown her whistle with great aplomb. And we are also indebted to Ian Messiter who created this amazing game. We are grateful to our producer Tilusha Ghelani. So from our lovely audience at Leicester, from me, Nicholas Parsons, and from the panel, good-bye, but tune in the next time we play Just A Minute! Yes!

THEME MUSIC