JAM:KWilliams,TRice,JJunkin,MLipman
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring KENNETH WILLIAMS, TIM RICE, JOHN JUNKIN and MAUREEN LIPMAN, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 28 August 1982)

NOTE: Maureen Lipman's first appearance.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: During the 1980s, Just A Minute's producer at the time, Pete Atkin, moved away from the format of always casting at least three of the regular players of the game, Kenneth Williams, Derek Nimmo, Peter Jones and Clement Freud for each edition, and expanded on the practice of bringing in exciting and talented guests all of whom sparked off the more experienced players in different directions. At this time Just A Minute was till being recorded at the much loved Paris Studios in Lower Regent Street, right in the centre of London. The BBC had acquired this venue, originally a cinema, at the beginning of the war. They refurbished it in the late 1940s and some of the finest and most memorable BBC radio comedy shows were recorded there. The Paris was lost by the Corporation in the 1990s, and so recordings of Just A Minute and other shows moved to the Concert Hall in Broadcasting House which became known as the BBC Radio Theatre. A fascinating piece of trivia about Just A Minute which intrigues everyone concerns the stopwatch which we use. A vital piece of equipment in a show concerned with time. When the programme first began, we were issued with a stopwatch that worked forwards from zero to 60. Maybe the BBC didn't possess one that counted the seconds down from 60 to zero. But anyway on the pilot show I was asked to cope. This meant that when I stated how many seconds a player had available following a challenge, I had to do quick mental arithmetic and subtract the seconds already used from 60. Because I achieved this with accuracy and without hesitation, the requited type of stopwatch was not supplied for some years. My requests made over a long period fell on deaf ears and were usually met with the remark "you seem to be managing fine. What's the problem?" Then suddenly, in 1992, without any explanation I was presented with a stopwatch that counted the seconds down. I know BBC Radio has to watch its budgets very carefully, but perhaps they had suddenly realised after 25 years they had a success on their hands, and they could invest a little extra money in the show. Anyway I was grateful and it does make my job easier. In this next edition, first broadcast in August 1982, Kenneth Williams was the only regular player. And once he managed to contribute to proceedings as so often happened with him, his adrenaline began to pump, and there was no holding him. He was joined by Tim Rice, that superb writer of lyrics, who has a very concise and lucid way of playing the game, and whose command of language is a great asset. John Junkin who had guested before brought his individual style of comedy to the show. And the fourth player was Maureen Lipman, appearing for the first time. She adapted to the style of the show immediately and was very successful. Maureen showed a natural instinct by listening very carefully, something that first time players don't always do. And she also benefited from appearing with players who were less aggressive than some regulars. There was a lot of humour and fun in this programme, and I hope you will agree that this show is a classic Just A Minute.

THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: We present Kenneth Williams, John Junkin, Tim Rice and Maureen Lipman in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away here to tell you about it is our chairman Nicholas Parsons.

NP: Thank you, thank you very much indeed, and once again we have a lovely looking audience here in the Paris Theatre of the BBC. And we have some lovely looking panellists. We have one regular, as you just heard, the irrepressible Kenneth Williams. We have two guests who have played it before, Tim Rice and John Junkin. And we welcome for the first time, that lovely actress and beautiful star, Maureen Lipman to try and.... And we will try and play the game as we usually do, try to understand the rules and I will try and interpret them. And we'll start the show this week with Tim Rice. Tim the subject to begin with, which Ian Messiter has conjured up, is a very long one. It's called my intellectual approach to the six pips of the Greenwich time signal. If you can remember all that you can actually repeat that in the show, as you know. And you have 60 seconds to talk on the subject starting now.

TIM RICE: Whenever I hear the six pips of the Greenwich time signal, my mind races. And my intellectual approach is truly staggering. Firstly I think, here we are, Greenwich, the centre of the world. What an honour it is for our country that every other place in the world being...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin has challenged.

JOHN JUNKIN: Two worlds.

NP: There were two worlds and we only have one.

TR: Rotten unsporting start!

NP: It's all part of the game! Tim, I'm sorry, John you have a correct challenge, so you get a point for that and you take over the subject, and it's this, my intellectual approach to the six pips of the Greenwich time signal, and 45 seconds starting now.

JJ: My intellectual approach to the six pips of the Greenwich time signal is such that when I hear the six pips of the Greenwich time signal, my intellectual approach to them is that I consider they are a work of art. These six pips from the Greenwich time signal, and my intellectual approach to them...

BUZZ

NP: Maureen Lipman has challenged.

MAUREEN LIPMAN: Does boredom count for deviation?

JJ: Oh no!

ML: Oh it doesn't?

JJ: Otherwise Kenneth would never play!

NP: The programme would have finished long ago! But I, there is a point where if he repeats it too often, one does have to make...

JJ: Oh you're changing the rules!

NP: No, we're just interpreting them! I mean, listen, if you start to make a nonsense of the game by repeating that incessantly throughout...

ML: No no, could he, could he perhaps, could he perhaps talk about 18 pips and save us a bit of time there?

NP: He can do whatever he likes.

ML: Three sets of six.

NP: Yes yes. Un John you have the subject still, another point, and there are 26 seconds, on the subject starting now.

JJ: The subject being my intellectual approach to the six pips of the Greenwich time signal. I can recall the days when the six pips were equal in length. However in recent times one of them has been extended. I believe the last pip of the...

BUZZ

NP: And Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: Two believes.

NP: Yes. You did say "I believe" twice.

JJ: I did, I do believe.

NP: And it was a great song but not in Just A Minute. There are 13 seconds for you Kenneth, having got a point for a correct challenge, to take over the subject of my intellectual approach to the six pips of the Greenwich time signal starting now.

KW: Well my approach to these six pips is anathesticographic to speak lightly. Because I have never actually heard, with my eardrums that is, these number of pips meaning...

BUZZ

NP: Maureen you challenged.

ML: Well yes, because how can you hear with anything else?

KW: Oh you can...

NP: You try and tell us, how?

KW: There's a special, I said with my eardrums. There's another way they can get you to hear.

NP: Well try and justify it.

KW: They put, attach nodes to the body...

NP: Ah but that's somebody else. That is somebody else doing it and you said "I actually heard it with my eardrums". So um there's no other way, deviation Maureen. So you have half a second on this subject starting now.

ML: Well my intellectual approach to the six pips...

WHISTLE

NP: So a good start from our guest, in order to give her encouragement. She got in just before the whistle, gets a point for speaking as the whistle went as anybody does if they do that and so she's in the lead at the end of that round, alongside John Junkin. And Kenneth Williams begins the second round. Kenneth the subject is fibs. Will you tell us something about those in the game starting now.

KW: One of the most notorious fibs which has been handed down till it's become I think almost apocryphal is the one about the Borgias poisoning people. And the lie was given to it by Frederick Rongfore, as he was sometimes termed, Baron Corbeaux, when he said in his book on that famous family, "they could no more have done such a thing..."

BUZZ

NP: Um Maureen Lipman.

ML: Did he say family twice? The Borgia family and when he said...

NP: No, he said the Borgias before.

ML: Ah I apologise.

NP: And the Borgia family.

KW: Oh dear!

NP: So Kenneth...

ML: I just heard it with my ears!

NP: ... a point for an incorrect challenge, you keep...

KW: You just ruined the tag line! That's all! Well into every life, a little rain must fall, and I'm obviously about to be drenched!

NP: Never mind, I disagree with Maureen's challenge, so you have a point for that and so you're gaining, you're in the lead. You have 33 seconds on fibs starting now.

KW: I was enlightened about another fib quite recently, in a book which told me there was...

BUZZ

NP: Tim Rice has challenged.

TR: We've had book before.

KW: Not in this round.

NP: Not in this round, no.

KW: Great fool!

TR: No, we did!

KW: Shut your mouth! Shut your row!

JJ: I support this gentleman, it was Baron Corbeaux's book.

NP: When we say, which book was that?

TR: Well the one about the Borgias. It was you know boring, but he mentioned the word book.

ML: He did.

TR: He definitely did.

NP: It's so long, such a lot has happened when Kenneth talks in between the...

TR: But your, your job as chairman is to remember these things.

NP: Yes, I know.

KW: Oh! How dare you!

NP: But it is not your job as a panellist to remind me of that.

KW: No! You want to keep him in his proper station!

NP: I know! Yes I was appalled!

KW: It's a joke, isn't it! People come here, they just have one appearance, and start getting uppity! It's a joke isn't it!

NP: I would call it coughostus is what....

KW: Yes! (laughs loudly) I see what you mean about cocky! Yes you're right!

NP: Right! lets ah, I will still give it you...

TR: Thank you.

NP: I will show you how fair I am in spite of that Tim and you have 26 seconds on fibs starting now.

TR: One of the most famous fibs in history is "your cheque is in the post". Every time this phrase is uttered, be it by somebody who normally tells the truth, or somebody who used...

BUZZ

NP: Maureen.

ML: Somebody, somebody.

NP: Yes, so Maureen you come in with a correct challenge there, and you have the subject of fibs and there are 15 seconds starting now.

ML: I myself have never ever told a fib, and that in itself, many of you may guess, is in fact a fib. Now... some people....

BUZZ

ML: Yes?

NP: John Junkin challenged.

JJ: Hesitation.

NP: No.

JJ: She said yes! She's an honest lady! She said yes.

NP: You ungallant player!

JJ: I am indeed! I'm desperate to win!

NP: Maureen you keep the subject, a wrong challenge too.

ML: Oh I keep...?

NP: Yes there are seven seconds on fibs starting now.

ML: Well often when your children tell you a fib, it's a very endearing moment, isn't it. Especially when it's the sort of fib that you can see from their faces right away...

WHISTLE

NP: So Maureen Lipman our guest who's ah, first time on the show, um was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. And she has increased her lead ahead of Kenneth Williams at the end of that round. John Junkin and Tim Rice trailing a little. And John Junkin, your turn to begin, the subject, comeuppance. Will you tell us something about that subject in the game starting now.

JJ: Getting your comeuppance means receiving what is coming to you, your just deserts. This is one particular aspect of the phrase. It can also be used in conjunction with a now defunct lady who gave her name to a device that saved airmen during the war, Mae West. She used to say "come-up-an'-see me some time". I think however that this was a different connotation, and what is actually intended by the phrase is a moment...


BUZZ

NP: Maureen Lipman.

ML: Phrase, he said that already.

NP: Yes you used the word phrase.

JJ: Did I? That's not like me.

NP: She listens well, doesn't she.

JJ: Yes.

NP: Yes so Maureen, very bright, 34, 33 seconds on comeuppance starting now.

ML: I once had my comeuppance in a shop in the Lake District. Because I went in there and the lady behind the counter said to me "are you the girl in that programme Ugly?" And I...

BUZZ

NP: Tim Rice challenged.

TR: I thought there was a hesitation.

NP: I agree with that time. Yes yes...

ML: Right.

NP: I mean once you mention the word "ugly", and you look at Maureen Lipman, anybody would hesitate. So there are...

ML: Take yours off as well, go on!

NP: Awwww!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

ML: Works well on radio!

JJ: Nicholas?

NP: Yes?

JJ: Do you think you should explain for the benefit of people who are listening what she meant when she said "take yours off as well"?

NP: John that was one of the occasions when I wasn't going to explain! Because I thought all the listeners would think how lucky I was, you see. And if I explain, they might say well, so what. I took my glasses off and Maureen took her glasses off, and we, you know, we snapped specs and um... You know you can't get very, you know... But still it's one of those moments to treasure, even if not to get very emotional about. There are 24 seconds on comeuppance... who challenged? It was Tim Rice, it was correct Tim, starting now.

TR: Every so often in this wonderfully strenuous and intellectual game, you get a subject that is so unutterably uninteresting, it is almost impossible to think of anything whatsoever to say about it. And such a subject is comeuppance. What...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin has challenged.

JJ: Deviation.

NP: Why?

JJ: He's not actually talking about the subject.

TR: I was.

JJ: He's talking about not being able to talk about it.

TR: I was talking about the subject far more accurately than you were, sir.

NP: No, no, no, you're being too devious I think in your challenge for words. No no, I think he was maintaining his point. He was talking on the subject of comeuppance and saying it was...

JJ: A subject you couldn't talk about!

NP: Yes! But he was achieving it! So that's what Just A Minute is all about!

TR: Yes! Quite right! You're a wonderful chairman!

JJ: Oh dear! Sycophancy is rife in this game!

NP: Eleven seconds with you Tim on comeuppance starting now.

TR: There we had a wonderful example of rather...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Maureen Lipman challenged.

ML: he did say wonderful early on.

NP: You did indeed Tim.

TR: Give over!

ML: But you are wonderful!

NP: Maureen you have the subject back, comeuppance and there are eight seconds starting now.

ML: So there I was...

BUZZ

ML: Oh I buzzed myself! So there I was in this remote part of the area that I mentioned before and in the shop, the lady asked...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin challenged.

JJ: Two shops.

NP: You went into the shop again, I'm afraid.

ML: I did!

NP: Awfully difficult game isn't it really. You don't realise how difficult. Four seconds for John Junkin, comeuppance starting now.

JJ: I suppose that Maureen has just had her comeuppance in so far as I...

WHISTLE

NP: John Junkin was speaking as the whistle went, gained the extra point. The scores are interesting. John Junkin and Tim Rice are one ahead of Kenneth Williams, they're in second place, trailing Maureen Lipman our first time guest, who is still in the lead. And Maureen it's your turn to begin. The subject that Ian Messiter's thought of, a rather nice one, it's the art of enjoyment. So can you tell us something on that in 60 seconds starting now.

ML: The art of enjoyment is a great deal to do with the ability to savour the moment, as it happens, not dwell on the past, not think about the future. But really...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin has challenged.

JJ: Not not.

NP: Mmmm?

JJ: Not not. Who's there?

ML: Who's there?

NP: I...

JJ: She said "not dwell on the past, not think of the future".

NP: We do, we do resist the temptation when someone's just started to challenge on such small words as "not"...

TR: Yes, get knotted!

NP: ... and "and" and "but".

JJ: You're changing the rules again Nick! You're always doing that!

NP: No, what I have said before, I try to interpret them in order to be fair to everybody and keep some semblance of a game going. Because if you challenge immediately when everybody opens their mouth, you know, you do destroy, you know, the audience's enjoyment of the whole thing.

JJ: You mean you're cheating!

NP: I have to do a bit of that in the game!

JJ: Right, as long as that's clear! Fine yes!

NP: So we won't give any points for that and let Maureen continue with the subject of the art of enjoyment, 50 seconds starting now.

ML: I was sitting at a concert, an open air one, in the Kenwood Lakeside. And Brahms and Lizst were floating across the lake and we had a bottle of wine and next to me was...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin.

JJ: Brahms and Lizst can't both float at the same time!

ML: We were there...

JJ: Unless you were Brahms and Lizst at the time!

ML: In the course.... in the course of the evening...

NP: In the course of the evening you were Brahms and Lizst? What were you challenging for, seriously John?

JJ: It's deviation, you can't have two composers playing simultaneously, even in the Lake District!

NP: There are 40 seconds for you Maureen on the art of enjoyment starting now.

ML: So with the punchline floating well out of the window, my mother was sitting beside me...

BUZZ

NP: Tim Rice has challenged.

TR: Two floatings.

NP: Yes.

TR: Brahms and Lizst was floating around...

NP: Yes yes.

TR: Aren't I a rotter?

NP: Well listened...

ML: You are but you're clever.

NP: Yes.

TR: Thank you.

NP: They're all clever!

ML: And tall.

TR: Thank you.

NP: In fact they're all so clever, it makes my job very difficult. The um, no-one got that. Ah 36 seconds, the art of enjoyment with you Tim starting now.

TR: I think the key to enjoying oneself is really to relax. To make sure that every single fibre of your body is cool and in repose. If this is the case then it is extremely simple to enjoy yourself. Let me give you an example...

BUZZ

NP: Maureen Lipman.

ML: "To enjoy yourself" is not on the card.

TR: Oh?

NP: Yes, the art of enjoyment's on the card. And you did say "to enjoy yourself".

TR: You're terribly right. Very clever of you.

NP: Yes she's very sharp isn't she, yes.

TR: Very pretty too.

ML: Thank you.

NP: One woman on the show and she's having to fight for the female sex, and make sure she can hold her own with the rest and she's doing that magnificently. Maureen there are nine seconds on the art of enjoyment starting now.

ML: So as the lullaby wafted across to me, my mother turned to me and ... ahhhh!

BUZZ

NP: John challenged.

JJ: Well she's had two mothers.

NP: I know.

ML: They were both with me!

NP: So John you got in there and there are four seconds on the art of enjoyment with you starting now.

JJ: The true secret of the art of enjoyment is total relaxation and indulgence...

WHISTLE

NP: So John Junkin got that extra point this time, speaking as the whistle went. He's equal with Tim Rice in the lead, he's in the same position actually. They're both trailing Maureen Lipman, and they're both ahead of Kenneth Williams. And Maureen you're still in the lead, and Tim it's your turn to begin, the subject is good food. Will you tell us something about that in the game starting now.

TR: Yes certainly I will tell you something about good food, the subject on the card. Let me describe my ideal meal. I would like to start with fried egg, maybe three or four of these objects which come out of the rear quarters of chickens. I'm getting a bit biological here, but I'm sure you'll bear with me! With these aforesaid objects that are...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: We had the objects twice.

NP: Yes I'm afraid so, it's awfully difficult, isn't it. Right...

TR: Strange!

NP: Kenneth, good food is the subject, there are 42 seconds left, you've gathered yourself obviously from the audience reaction, and you start now.

KW: I shall start off with a blue trout in a white wine sauce. And probably wash that down with a little Pouille Frie. Go on to some beef with claret...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin challenged.

JJ: That was less of savouring and more of hesitation.

NP: I disagree, I was savouring every moment of it, and he didn't actually hesitate. And the audience agree, I can tell that. Kenneth you have another point, you have 30 seconds, you've got to the second course and you start now.

KW: Then apple ala mode, benedictine, and coffee. Cheese probably to follow but only if they have the stilton and...

BUZZ

NP: Maureen Lipman challenged.

ML: Have we had "to follow" twice? Did we "to follow" earlier?

NP: I'm afraid we did. You had the word "follow" before.

KW: Oh did I?

NP: Yes you did.

KW: No I didn't! No I didn't! No I didn't! Because I said "followed by" and this time I said that it would be "to follow"! Yes that's right.

NP: You're right! You did! Yes!

KW: I said "followed by"!

NP: I agree Kenneth, you did, I'm glad you listen to yourself.

KW: That's right!

NP: So you have another point and you keep the subject and you have 18 seconds on good food starting now.

KW: Good food, is it?

NP: Yes!

KW: Sorry, I could havw sworn it was Aturo Toscanini!

NP: What did you think you were talking on? Comeuppance?

KW: No, I keep thinking of that week when we were doing Aturo Toscanini! It made an impression with me! Even as my head hits the pillow, a voice seems to say "Aturo"! Anyway, good food, you say? Starting when?

NP: Eighteen seconds, good food starting now.

KW: It can include crayfish of which I am inordinately fond! Particularly the lobster, done with that particular kind of dressing which I think can be...

BUZZ

NP: Maureen Lipman.

KW: Took her long enough, didn't it!

ML: Particular.

NP: No, he said particularly and particular. He didn't actually, I have to listen very carefully...

KW: You've got to listen properly, you great fool!

NP: It's awfully difficult...

KW: She's back floating across the lake...

ML: He's back on ears again, you see! He's got a thing about ears!

KW: She's wafting across the lake with Mozart and Lizst! (laughs) Oh you have to laugh, don't you! Oh you don't have to, obviously!

NP: The trouble is I enjoy it so much, I forget to listen sometimes! There are six seconds on good food still with you Kenneth starting now.

KW: But I suppose what takes the prize for me above all else is a Christmas pudding...

WHISTLE

NP: At the beginning of that round, Kenneth Williams was trailing in a very weak fourth place. At the end of that round, Kenneth Williams is in the lead!

KW: Ahhhhhhh! Oh! Oh recognition at last!

NP: But he is in the lead alongside Maureen Lipman, our guest.

KW: Oh! Oh!

NP: Because she's doing extremely well. And John Junkin and Tim Rice are doing almost as well there, not far behind equal in second place. Kenneth, following good food, the next subject that Ian Messiter's come along with is my worst meal. And it's your turn to begin, so can you tell us something about that in the game starting now.

KW: It is something I shall never forget. It was in theatrical digs, and the landlady had a book in which every other actor who had stayed there had written "what about Mrs Mista's delicious lemon pie? We shall never forget..." and then the aforementioned object...

BUZZ

NP: Tim Rice.

TR: Two forgets. You began by saying "something I shall never forget" and we just had another forget.

KW: Well you just done yourself out of hearing this very funny story! You missed your own laughs dear! On your own head be it! That is your actual comeuppance, isn't it. That is definitely comeuppance.

NP: Well the audience comeuppance. But anyway, right, we may come back and have the rest of the story at the end of the round. But in the meantime Tim did have a correct challenge so he takes the subject of my worst meal, and 43 seconds starting now.

TR: The worst meal I ever had was in a transport cafe on the A303, quite near Wincarness or is it Wincanton, I can never remember...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams.

KW: Deviation, we're interested in the meal, not the geography, dear!

TR: My worst meal, the ambience of the meal is just as important as the food.

NP: Yes but as Wincarness is not on the A303, you were definitely deviating and Kenneth has the subject back and ah...

KW: Oh fabulous! Marvellous chairman you see! He's got proper judgement of everything! Yes!

NP: Thirty-six seconds for you Kenneth on my worst meal starting now.

KW: So this revolting stuff was brought into the room. And the girl, Annette, put hers into a briefcase. And the other man put his into the Times and chucked it through the window. I went...

BUZZ

NP: Tim Rice has challenged.

TR: Hesitation, you could have driven a truck through that pause.

NP: No! Twenty-one seconds on my worst meal, still with you Kenneth starting now.

KW: I retired to the loo, and kept pulling the chain, but it wouldn't go down!

LOUD LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

KW: It kept coming back, like a song, you know...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth, Tim has challenged again, I'm afraid.

KW: What's the matter with him?

TR: I find this story rather repulsive and I'm trying to stop it. But there, there was an enormous hesitation...

KW: I find your whole persona repulsive, come to that! It's a disgrace!

TR: There was a definite, there was a definite hesitation there. I mean there was enough for the audience to have a real good chortle.

NP: Well actually you could, you could have had him on "kept" which he said three times.

TR: And I was about to say...

NP: No, it's too late now! But he didn't hesitate, the audience were going with him and he was pushing it up, you know, he was flushing it away and he wasn't quite achieving it, the image was there. Kenneth we're still with you and there are 13 seconds, my worst meal starting now.

KW: In Singapore they served a banana split and it had definitely gone off...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin.

JJ: Is he allowed to start three totally different stories...

NP: Yes!

JJ: ... without being called deviation?

NP: Yes.

JJ: We've had the lemon meringue pie, that in the toilet, and we've now got Singapore!

NP: You mean your challenge is if the other one was his worst meal, this one couldn't have been?

JJ: Exactly.

NP: It must have been his second worst meal.

JJ: He's had three worst meals!

NP: Good challenge John.

TR: Good challenge.

NP: Nine seconds for you John Junkin, my worst meal starting now.

JJ: My worst meal was of the instant variety. I purchased a package which claimed to contain the ingredients of a spaghetti bolognaise. The cheese...

WHISTLE

NP: So John Junkin once again was speaking as the whistle went and again is moving forward, catching up our leader Kenneth Williams. Maureen Lipman's only one point behind and Tim Rice is still there with a chance as Maureen Lipman begins the next round and the subject is fads. Can you tell us something about that in the game Maureen starting now.

ML: I'm a sucker for fads. Health food, jogging. Isn't it extraordinary how the minute you buy your shoes, you stop running. I had hula hoops, now there's a funny thing. You walk to school with a big piece of red plastic around you, gyrating backwards and forwards. Yo-yos, does anybody remember those...

BUZZ

NP: Tim Rice has challenged.

TR: Repeat of yo!

ML: Oh! Boo!

NP: It's a correct challenge. It's a correct challenge. You see that's what the game's all about, and it's those good challenges that make it exciting.

ML: So who remembers a yo?

NP: I think um the thing is Maureen it's very bad luck on you, but it's a good challenge, so we give it to Tim. And there are 43...

ML: Well!

NP: ... seconds on fads starting now.

TR: When my mother gave me a yo, back in 1945, I was extremely happy with it for a long time. Until it was replaced in my affections one day, by that amazing fad, that craze called a Rubik Cube. I'm sure you all know what these little devils are all about. They are a square thing but ah, no, in fact they're cubed...

BUZZ

NP: Um Maureen Lipman challenged.

ML: Hesitation.

NP: Yes.

ML: And deviation.

TR: Yes.

NP: Yes.

TR: Total, total collapse of stout party.

NP: So Maureen you have another point and the subject of course, and 23 seconds on fads starting now.

ML: One of the fads that I refuse to adhere to is designer...

BUZZ

NP: John Junkin challenged.

JJ: Hesitation.

TR: Rotter!

NP: Yes I think so, I think she did...

ML: It was on the tip of my brain!

NP: I know but we should have it on the tip of your tongue more quickly. It was, I think, just hesitation. We're in the last round, it's all very close, you're equal in the lead with Kenneth Williams, and John Junkin is two behind, and Tim Rice is three behind...

ML: That's no excuse!

NP: I know but it adds to the excitement!

ML: Oh so it does, fine!

NP: But actually no, I do think it was hesitation, I really do. And so John has the subject and there are 18 seconds on fads starting now.

JJ: There are fads not only in toys, but in almost every other aspect of life. Fashion has its fads, music also has its fads...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams.

KW: Three its!

NP: Well there were three, I agree. If there'd been two I would have said no, because that wouldn't have been, that would have been too keen. Kenneth you come in with nine seconds to go in the last round, the subject is fads starting now.

KW: I've fallen under the spell of so many fads, it's almost impossible to list them. From skateboarding to sucking cumquats...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Kenneth Williams' last flamboyant moments and gestures brings the show to a close. And I will give you the final score. Tim Rice coming back again from his previous triumphs, was only just in fourth place behind John Junkin, our other guest, who was only one point behind Maureen Lipman, first time on the show, she almost won. But she's finished in second place, so a special round of applause for Maureen please. But two points ahead was this week's winner, Kenneth Williams! The win has meant so much to Kenneth Williams, he's literally taken off to flight, doing his Peter Pan act. Unfortunately he hasn't got the wires to support him! You will have more of Just A Minute if you decide to tune in at the same time next week when we'll be on the air, we'll be playing this game. Until then from all of us here good-bye!

THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons, the programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by Pete Atkin.