JAM:KWilliams,DNimmo,PJones,AMacdonald
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring KENNETH WILLIAMS, DEREK NIMMO, PETER JONES and AIMI MACDONALD, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 4 November 1975)


Note: This was transcribed by Vicki Walker. Thank you Vicki! :-)


THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: We present Kenneth Williams, Derek Nimmo, Peter Jones and Aimi Macdonald in Just a Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away, here to tell you about it is our chairman, Nicholas Parsons.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you! Thank you very much indeed. Hello, and welcome once again to Just a Minute. And also we welcome Aimi Macdonald back to play against our three regular male competitors. And also I'm going to ask them to speak if they can for Just A Minute on some subject that I will give them without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And we'll begin the show this week with, ah, Derek Nimmo. Derek, would you talk on the subject of democracy. There's a good subject to begin a show with! Ah, 60 seconds, Derek, starting now.

DEREK NIMMO: Democracy, government for the people by the ditto. I think we can often think in this kind today that some of our democratic freedoms are being eroded from pressures within and also from outside, something which I think we must work hard to prevent. I think one of the things that we do notice that the system that we employ is not necessarily fair. If, for instance, we had proportional representation in this country, then we would feel that people were more democratically represented in Parliament than they are at present. For instance, in our...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PETER JONES: Repetition of for instance.

NP: Yes, there was, yes.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: That was very interesting. I mean, I was moved.

NP: Yes, it was very interesting.

AIMI MACDONALD: Oh, it was super.

PJ: But it wasn't supposed...

KW: I think we could all do with a bit of this here.

AM: Yes.

KW: You know, I think there's too much levity. I mean, I would rather hear him out.

PJ: You ought to be on Thought for the Day.

KW: Oh.

NP: And that remark about levity coming from you, Kenneth, I thought was, um, but, um, Peter, you have a correct challenge. You have a point. You take over the subject. There are 23 seconds left on democracy, starting now.

PJ: Although there is a great deal to be said in favor of the communist system, I do believe that democracy, handed down to us from the Greeks and being the only...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Kenneth Williams.

KW: Deviation! Did I hear aright? "There is a great deal to be said for the communist system"? Did I hear aright?

PJ: Yes, I said it.

KW: Did I hear aright? I mean, if he wants, why doesn't he go and live there? How disgraceful! To sit in with a mother of Parliament, the country's state...

NP: Um, Kenneth, in Just a Minute you can speak, uh, anyway you wish and as long as you don't deviate from the subject on the card, and he was leading from communism to democracy, therefore I don't think he was deviating. And therefore, he has another point for an incorrect challenge, 13 seconds left, democracy, Peter, starting now.

PJ: And democracy, unlike that arrangement prevailing in Russia, was brought about not by force but by the votes of individual people. And for...

WHISTLE

PJ: ...that reason alone, I will persist...

NP: You've created such an emotional response that Ian Messiter, he nearly swallowed his whistle. He only got half a blow out but he did let us know 60 seconds was up and whoever speaks at that moment gets the extra point. It was on this occasion Peter Jones, so Peter, at the end of the round you have a commanding lead, in fact, you're the only one who scored any points. Kenneth, will you begin the next round? The subject is hunting. I don't know why Ian Messiter's thought of hunting for you. But would you talk about it for 60 seconds, starting now.

KW: This is something I frequently do. I hunt through a drawer to find the object I wish to hold in my hand. And then I go back, find I can't see it at all! And then I ring up the doctor and he says to me, "Well, of course we've got 15 million brain cells and we're losing 100 every day." And I say, "No!" He said, "Yes! Off you go in and wonder why you've gone in...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald challenged.

AM: Well, definitely deviation. He, he's not talking about hunting at all now, is he?

NP: No, I think he's gone off...

AM: He's talking about doctors.

PJ: Aimi, he was hunting for his brain cells in the drawer!

NP: That could be the only possible answer, but I don't think he would find his brain cells in the drawer. No, he'd gone off to doctors and brain cells, away from hunting. I agree with your challenge, Aimi. You have a point. You have 37 seconds on hunting, starting now.

AM: The loveliest bit about it are the pictures that are painted. These beautiful red and white and green things of horses with their tails swished...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Deviation. In hunting parlance, it's not red. It's pink.

NP: Yes, but she was describing the picture using the word red to describe hunting pink...

AM: Yes.

NP: ...which is a correct definition, a correct description of hunting pink.

AM: And the artist I'm thinking about drew it in red, actually.

NP: And Aimi, you have a point because I disagree with the challenge. And you have 27 seconds on hunting, starting now.

AM: I do feel sorry for the little fox, though, don't you? When you see it scampering over the fields and these great horses lumbering after it and those terrible dogs. You see, I'm more, I'm a bit anti-blood sport myself...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of horses.

NP: Yes, you did say horses before when you were talking about the picture.

AM: Did I?

NP: Yes, I'm afraid you did.

AM: Oh.

NP: So Peter has a point for that and 15 seconds on hunting, starting now.

PJ: "The uneatable pursued by the unspeakable" was somebody's description of, ah, hunting. I can't quite recall who it was. A famous...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Derek Nimmo.

DN: Oscar Wilde.

NP: Oscar Wilde.

KW: Brilliant! Bravo!

PJ: But that's not a challenge!

NP: I'm afraid I can't give you a bonus point for showing off, Derek.

DN: Oh, it's, you know...

KW: That's not showing off. That's a literate gentleman there, enlightening us all. A literate gentleman! We should have more of them in this world!

PJ: But since I misquoted it, I felt I was doing Oscar Wilde a favour by not, uh, actually mentioning his name.

KW: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

NP: Ah, it wasn't a correct challenge, so Peter, you've got a point...

PJ: Thanks.

NP: ...and five seconds on hunting starting now.

PJ: Yes, looking about for these small insects with a butterfly net is one of the most boring practices adopted...

WHISTLE

NP: Once again, Peter Jones was speaking when the whistle went. He gained more points in the round as well, so he's now increased his lead. Um, Aimi's in second place and Kenneth and Derek for once have yet to score. Aimi Macdonald, will you begin the next round? The subject: economy. Can you talk about economy for 60 seconds starting now.

AM: Well, I don't know about you, but I always think a very good way to economise, for me in particular, would be to cut down on soap powder. Because I tend to put too much into the basin, and then I get, when I fill this thing up with water, I get far too many bubbles, you see. And then they take absolutely hours to get rid of, so in a way you're sort of combining two things. You can, you're, instead of standing at the basin for two hours waiting for those terrible bubbles to go...

BUZZ

AM: I've said it, I've done it twice.

NP: Uh, yes, you did. Derek?

DN: Assorted challenges, but I'll settle for bubbles, I think.

AM: Yes, I did.

NP: All right, Bubbles, you've got the subject. You have 33 seconds on economy, starting now.

DN: Yes, I like to be economical. I have an agent who is extraordinarily filled with economy. One day he was seen to walk along the street and pick up a rubber band. And a friend that was with him said, "Good heavens! What do you pick those up for?" He said "Well, I, I always use them again." And he said, "Do you know, a dog or anything". And he said, "That's all right, I wash them first."

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Well, repetition because he said "Well, I, I." He said I twice. Oh, he did!

NP: I don't, I actually didn't hear it.

AM: Ask the audience. I saw somebody down there...

DN: Thank you so much, yes.

NP: There was one person there. No, Aimi, I don't think it was a sufficiently good challenge, so we leave the subject with Derek and there are 13 seconds on economy, Derek, starting now.

DN: I think we ought to be more economical in this country. We throw away far too many things we really could use again, like bottles. It is absolutely disgraceful that tins of things are discarded for no purpose at all! Newspapers which could be recycled...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Why don't you give them to your agent?

NP: Well, Derek interrupted Peter, and um, oh, did Peter, Peter got a point? Then, then Derek must have a point for that interruption. And there are three seconds on economy, Derek, starting now.

DN: Go down to the sea in ships, I say...

WHISTLE

DN: I can't think why!

NP: Right, so ah, at the end of that round Peter's still in the lead and Derek's in second place. And Peter Jones, your turn to begin. The subject is clerihews. Would you talk on them if you can for 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: Yes, Edmund or Edward Clerihew Bentley started them. A new form of, ah, verse. I don't remember very many. Sir Christopher Wren/Dined with some men, he said if anyone calls tell them I'm designing St. Paul's. And Clive, I remember, of India. He, his was, ah...

BUZZ

PJ: There are a great many...

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

NP: Yeah, but let's hear what Clive was first.

PJ: Clive. The thing I like about Clive is that he's no longer alive, there's a lot... there's a lot to be said for being dead."

NP: A very good clerihew. Well done. Thank you very much.

PJ: Thank you. But not my own, you know.

NP: I know.

PJ: Oscar Wilde, actually!

NP: But I'm afraid you hesitated. Derek had a correct challenge. And there were 35 seconds at that moment, and Derek, you take over the subject of clerihews starting now.

DN: Yes, I suppose a sort of topical example of the thing would be The chairman of this game is always the same, the fact that he's a clot matters not a jot...

BUZZ

DN: But I've always got my own...

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Well, gratuitous offensiveness.

KW: Yes, it was rude, it's true. It was rude, you know.

NP: But I would have challenged for hesitation, because there was at least five seconds before he said a word.

PJ: Hesitation, yes, that's what I meant. Hesitation.

NP: Um, there are 16 seconds on clerihews with you, Peter, starting now.

PJ: Oh, well I can't remember any more.

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Derek Nimmo?

DN: Um, hesitation.

NP: Yes, so you got an equal score there. Clerihews back with you, Derek, starting now.

DN: George the Third ought never to have occurred, one only can wonder at so grave a blunder is another one written by Edmund Clerihew Bentley, who died I think as recently as 1958. Not very long ago! Although he was born in the last century...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, uh, at the end of that round Derek got more points, so he's moved up into equal place in the lead with Peter Jones. There are 60 seconds for someone to speak now, and it is Derek Nimmo, on Solomon Grundy, starting now.

DN: This is the tale of Solomon Grundy, born on Monday, christened Tuesday, married Wednesday, taken ill on Thursday, worse on Friday, died on Saturday...

BUZZ

DN: buried Sunday, and that was the end..

NP: And you've challenged. Aimi challenged on Friday.

AM: Repetition, 'cause he was repeating the days of the week.

NP: Well, he was repeating the, no, he actually wasn't repeating the days of the week.

DN: No!

NP: He never repeated Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday. He just said each day in succession. Which is a good challenge, but it was...

KW: Good challenge? It's absolutely ridiculous! It was idiotic!

NP: I think it was a good challenge, but it was also incorrect. So Derek has a point, and there are 47 seconds, Derek, on Solomon Grundy, starting now.

DN: Died on Saturday, buried on Sunday, And that was the end/Of Solomon Grundy. Now one wonders, really, if one begins to analyze that little poem, what Mrs Grundy was up to. It was very shortly after the nuptials that he fell into this great sickness, was it not? Then as soon as he was deceased, he was popped into a grave without a postmortem! Something sinister, I think! What had she been putting into his porridge, I ask? Might it have been the weed killer? Nobody knows! Because it was not, they didn't wait three days like they normally do, no! No sooner than the corpse was...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald challenged.

DN: Shut up!

AM: No, no sooner! He said two nos!

NP: No, no, no, three times no. Aimi, you have a correct challenge.

AM: Thank you. At last!

NP: And you have, uh, 16 seconds on Solomon Grundy, starting now.

AM: Solomon Grundy used to visit my flat once a month solidly for seven months. He used to come up the stairs with his big ladder, knock on my door and come in and clean my windows. He was an expert window...

BUZZ

AM: Damn it!

NP: Uh, Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Ah, repetition of window.

AM: Yes.

NP: Yes, I'm afraid so. Derek, there's half a second left for Solomon Grundy, starting now.

DN: And he used to visit my flat on Tuesday.

WHISTLE

NP: So Solomon Grundy got Derek Nimmo a great number of points and he's now got a strong lead at the end of that round. Peter Jones is still in second place, Aimi Macdonald in third, Kenneth in fourth. And Kenneth, your turn to begin and the subject now is Mrs Grundy, starting now.

KW: This is a lady who never actually appears in Tom Walton's play Speed the Plow. And she's come now to represent all that is propriety, conventionally proper in the English way of life. He's an interesting playwright because Dame Ashfield, who again reiterates a lot throughout the action of this piece, "Oh! What would Mrs. Grundy...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald.

AM: Oh, he's doing it again, you know, that way he talks.

NP: No, he's not doing it this time. He was --

AM: But he said, "Oh!"

NP: No, no.

AM: He takes 12 seconds to say Oh!

NP: The last time...

KW: I wish they'd get rid of that female impersonator over there, I really do!

NP: I'll tell you one thing, Kenneth, you've still got the subject. And you have 32 seconds on Mrs Grundy, starting now.

KW: She never appears, you see, but always referred to, which is fascinating...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Derek challenged.

DN: Repetition of referred to.

NP: Derek, you have the ch, er, um, the subject after a correct challenge and 28 seconds on Mrs Grundy, starting now.

DN: Mrs Grundy was the wife of Mr Grundy, the well-known window cleaner, who used to bring back fascinating information about...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald's challenged.

AM: He's pinching my material, 'cause I was going to use that.

NP: In other words, the Mrs Grundy, the Mr Grundy he's talking about was not married to Solomon Grundy.

AM: No, she was, but I was going to use it.

NP: Aimi, I'm trying to help you!

AM: Oh, I see.

NP: I was going to say that Mrs Grundy he's talking about was not married to the Solomon Grundy who cleaned your windows. So therefore he was deviating and you have the subject and there are 20 seconds on Mrs Grundy starting now.

AM: She's a very sweet little woman. And she very often comes with him. And she comes into my...uh-oh!

BUZZ

AM: Yes, I've done it.

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Comes two times.

AM: Two comes.

NP: Um, Derek, you have 14 seconds on Mrs Grundy, starting now.

DN: Mrs Grundy, I suppose, really refers to something that you don't want the neighbours to hear about. It's that kind of feeling that's really odd by any chance the woman next door, Mrs Grundy. Outside Ipswitch is a Mrs Grundy who sells stockings on Tuesdays to Kenneth Williams...

WHISTLE

NP: Aimi Macdonald, it's your turn to begin. Would you talk on the subject of putting on my tights for 60 seconds starting now.

AM: This is a very tricky operation. It's better if you can sit down first. Then you get the tights between your hands, hold one half in one hand, slip the other hand down the leg of one...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams.

KW: Well, a lot of repetitions here.

NP: Only one, just one.

KW: Hand came into it several times.

NP: Yes, hands did several times.

AM: Well, you do have two hands, darling.

NP: In Just a Minute, you have to say your left hand and...

AM: I was talking about one hand, then I was talking about the other hand.

NP: Yes, so Kenneth, uh, 46 seconds on putting on my tights starting now.

KW: While playing in 18th century costume, this has frequently happened to me. And I found a favourite device was to sprinkle talcum inside the stocking before I actually peeled it, so to speak, over a very shapely foot and a lovely, almost velvetlike ankle. And spectators passing the dressing room were wont to pause, quiver with excitement and say...

BUZZ

KW: ... "Oh! What a beautiful pair of legs!" Who's interrupting me?

NP: Aimi Macdonald.

AM: Me!

KW: Oh, it would be her, wouldn't it? I don't know why they have women on this show, I really don't! I mean, it's a man's game, isn't it, Peter?

NP: Uh, Aimi, what?

PJ: Not the way you're playing it.

NP: Aimi, why did you challenge?

PJ: All this business about tights.

KW: What's she on about with her challenge?

AM: Because you've got a very high opinion of yourself. I don't think you've got shapely legs.

KW: That is your challenge, is it?

AM: Yes.

NP: You think it's deviation.

PJ: Show them! Show them!

NP: All right, then!

PJ: He's got very shapely legs.

NP: First of all, Kenneth will show his legs to the audience and then I'll put it to the audience to judge because I'm not going to judge. All right, now to be quite fair, if you think Kenneth's got a shapely leg, you cheer for Kenneth and if you agree with Aimi that he's got an unshapely leg, you'll boo for her. All together now.

CHEERS AND BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

PJ: Now it's Aimi's turn!

NP: There are 14 seconds, 13 and a half, actually, for putting on my tights, Kenneth, starting now.

KW: Having put them on, the problem then was to keep them taut. This was only arranged for me by a suspension belt. And the lady in charge of the costumes...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: It's not a suspension belt, it's called a suspender belt.

NP: Well, he might have called it a suspension belt.

AM: Oh, no. That's ridiculous. Nobody calls it suspension belt.

NP: Well, actually, he's not talking about...

PJ: It was built for him by the people who did that arrangement at Sydney Harbour.

NP: Now really, he's not, he's no longer talking about putting on my tights. He's talking now not about putting on my tights but about how I keep my tights on.

AM: Oh, well, that's deviation. That's completely...

NP: And that's not the subject. Yes, so Aimi, you have two seconds on putting on my tights, starting now.

KW: Two seconds? That's disgraceful! That's just giving this subject which I worked on like... I mean, I've worked, haven't I? I've worked! You've seen me work! The sweat's pouring off me, and now with two seconds you're going to give it to that numbskull over there?

AM: Oh, shall I give it to him then?

DN: We don't want it to be said that he plays to the gallows.

NP: No.

AM: I thought that was a beautiful piece of comedy business, that. Shall I give it to him?

NP: No, no! Because I think you have a correct challenge and -- I'll tell you what, I'll be quite fair. I won't charge any points to anybody. Let Kenneth continue for two seconds on putting on my tights starting now.

KW: And in the lift they said you always wear your corsets round your ankles which was rather unfortunate...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, Kenneth's tights gained him some points, but he's still in fourth place. Aimi's in third place, one behind Peter Jones, and he's quite a long way behind our leader, who is still Derek Nimmo. But Peter, it's your turn to begin and the subject is gorillas. Would you talk about them for 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: Well, there are various types of grillers. There's the eye-level griller and the infra-red griller.

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Well, I mean, he's talking about an oven.

NP: He's talking about...

AM: What does that have to do with a gorilla?

PJ: Oh, well, I'll change the whole, uh, tack all together. There were two gorillas walking along Regent Street. And one said to the other, "It doesn't seem like a Tuesday, does it?" "No," replied the other. "There are not many people about."

NP: Let us get on with Just a Minute. Peter, you have 50 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

PJ: I believe they're very kind to their children, and they beat their chests, jump up and down and eat a great deal of green foliage. They're not actually, ah, carnivores, because they're, they, bananas are very popular.

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

NP: I think you're right, Derek.

AM: Yes. Yes.

NP: And you have 36 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

DN: Well, if today we can have urban guerillas, then presumably rural guerillas as well! They're all over the place, shooting around and causing disturbances, standing outside...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: That's just not true, is it?

NP: Yes, but he's taken the word guerillas in the sense of people who fight, underground fighters.

AM: Oh, of course! Oh, I'm sorry.

NP: I know it's spelled differently. G-U-E-R-

AM: Oh, yes. Ah, yes.

NP: -I-L-L-A-S. But it's pronounced the same and it's the way it's pronounced that you take it.

AM: Is it?

NP: Yes. So he really has a point for that challenge, Aimi. And he has 28 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

DN: If Aimi Macdonald were going to London Zoo, she would see there gorillas of the kind that she would expect to find.

AM: But you know the guy?

DN: Oh, shut up!

AM: Oh, I love him!

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

AM: Oh, I'm sorry.

PJ: Find. He said find twice.

NP: Yes. You did say find twice. It wasn't the hesitation caused by Aimi's, ah, interruption.

DN: I see.

NP: So Peter Jones, you have a correct challenge and there are 17 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

PJ: Yes, this huge gorilla that I think Derek was going to mention, and in fact Aimi did, used to sit there looking marvelous and people used to annoy me because they threw ice creams...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo.

DN: Used to, twice.

NP: Yes, that's right, Derek, and five seconds for you on gorillas starting now.

DN: Out to the jungle we go with Tarzan and there we find them rushing around, swinging through the trees with their babies on their backs and lots of hair...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, Derek has really increased his lead. He's double the number of points of Peter Jones, who's in second place, and Aimi and Kenneth are just a little way behind Peter. And Derek, it is your turn to begin again. The subject is snap. Can you talk on that, 60 seconds, starting now.

DN: Snap is a little game that one plays sometimes with children. It's quite fun, rather noisy and one tends to let them win it, because it makes them the better humour. Also, if you're wearing tights which are held together with suspensions, then you sometimes might hear a loud snap as the elastic breaks. And gosh, that could be most embarrassing, I can tell you! I was once standing on the stage...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: I was just going to say that wouldn't be true.

NP: What wouldn't be true?

AM: Well, he wouldn't be wearing tights with suspensions and...

NP: I know, but you see, you can say whatever you like in Just a Minute providing you don't deviate from the subject, and who's to know that he doesn't? What do we know what Derek wears underneath his suit?

AM: That's true!

NP: How do we know what he wears underneath his, ah, yes. All right Derek, 36 seconds on snap, starting now.

DN: The snap of a twig in the forest. Red Indians walking towards the plantation where the young settlers are there with their young children...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Aimi Macdonald.

AM: Two theres. Oh, definitely.

NP: Two youngs. Two youngs.

KW: What are you doing there, helping her or being a chairman?

NP: I'm being, doing both.

KW: I'm being, doing both?

NP: Yes. A Freudian slip: I'm being, doing both, yes. And as he can't be with us this week, he did send all his love to all his many fans who listen to Just a Minute, but he said he had other business. And...

PJ: You mean he had a job.

NP: I think it's more fun with Aimi Macdonald than Clement Freud, anyway!

PJ: I've never tried it with Clement Freud!

NP: Anyway, Aimi, you have the subject of snap and you have, ah, 26...

AM: Oh, I didn't want that.

BUZZ

KW: Ah, well you got it, dearie! Yes, she didn't want it. See, she's been asking for it all night and now you've got it, right in the mush!

NP: Derek challenged you just then. What for?

DN: Well, she didn't want the subject. And then she stopped! So I was going to help her out.

NP: But now she hadn't started.

AM: What was that? Well, I'll try, I'll try.

NP: She gets a point because she hadn't actually started, she gets a point from Kenneth because he was so rude to her, and you have 26 seconds, Aimi, on snap, starting now.

AM: Holiday time, and you rush to the airport and get on an aeroplane, which takes you far away into some nowhere land...

BUZZ

AM: You get off...

NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: This is deviation. We're nothing to do with snaps.

AM: I'm getting to it, darling.

KW: Yes, we could all get to it with those endless anecdotes!

NP: Shall we ask the audience? Do you think that she's justified in keeping the subject? If so, cheer for Aimi, if not, boo for Kenneth. All together now.

BOOS AND CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: They think that you hadn't established you were going towards this snap.

AM: Are you sure about that? I'd like to hear it again.

NP: Yes, I'm quite sure. I didn't hear a solitary cheer, as a matter of fact.

AM: I did. There was two up there somewhere!

NP: Kenneth, you have the subject and you have, ah, 17 seconds on snap, starting now.

KW: It is a fact that when somebody of a sublunary talent is faced with a general incom...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: What was that again?

NP: What was it again? You said sublunary.

KW: It is a fact that when someone of a sublunary talent...

BUZZ

PJ: Repetition.

KW: Appalling! I've let myself be led! I've been led like a lamb by this selfish...

NP: Ah, give them both a point. Kenneth keeps the subject. There are 12 seconds on snap, Kenneth, starting now.

KW: Geniuses like myself when surrounded by incompetence frequently find the nerves snap. And something gives! And they start to scream and shout in frustration! And that's what I feel like doing right now! I want to...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, I do hope you've enjoyed the fun and games that we have because we enjoy playing Just a Minute, and alas, we have no more time to continue. I will give you the final score. And the situation was, this week, Aimi Macdonald, returning from previous triumphs, finished in third place equal with Kenneth Williams. They both got a lot of points. They were only two behind Peter Jones. But this week, a long way out in front was once again our winner, Derek Nimmo. We hope you've enjoyed Just a Minute and want to be with us again next week, the same time when we'll get together and play this absurd, ridiculous and delightful game. Until then, from all of us here, goodbye.

THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just a Minute was Nicholas Parsons. The game was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by John Lloyd.